Forever and Almost Always
by Pandora's Box Is Heavy
Summary: True love never dies.. but what happens when it walks out of your life? Edward leaves Bella knowing she has a secret she's keeping without letting her explain. When they meet up again will all be forgiven? Or is it too much to handle? Read and Review :
1. Prologue Is it true what they say?

**Prologue**

They say when you die that your life flashes before your eyes. They say when something goes wrong it happens in threes. They also say if you walk under a ladder you are cursed with bad luck. If you mix pop rocks and coca cola, your stomach will explode.

What about what they say about true love?

When you find that one person you want to be with for the rest of your life and by some weird cosmic chance they want you back. You vision your future together, weddings, babies and growing old hand in hand on the front porch while your soul mate sits next to you with grey hair and aged skin.

They say that once you find true love you should hold on tight and never let go. Life is a wild ride for someone in love. It's wonderful, romantic, blissful, the bees' knees if you will. They say true love lasts forever and that it can leap over the tallest boundaries.

If only that were true.

They don't say anything about what happens to true love when something that wasn't precisely part of the plans goes wrong.

My true love left me stranded before I could even blink an eye.

He didn't understand what was wrong with me. Didn't even give me a chance to explain why I had distanced myself from him.

Instead he lashed out.

He told me all of the things I was doing wrong in life.

Told me the exact thing I knew all along. For in our wonderful world of just him and I, I knew that he could do so much better than me.

I wasn't rich, I was never popular in school, and I didn't have big boobs or an overly pretty smile that makes a person go weak in the knees. I was plain. I was boring.

And he told me so.

Even though our entire time together I kept myself waiting for the moment he realized that I wasn't significant, it didn't help the fact that the second he said 'Goodbye Bella.' my heart ripped in half and he took the bigger half.

Leaving me with a small part that kept the blood flowing in my body, kept my brain functioning.

He left me with nothing but my secret and my small insignificant life.

Tears streamed down my face as I stood in the drive way of my father's house. I hadn't been home in two years. And now I was here to beg him to help me, to heal me.

The rain pelted my face but my body refused to move towards the shelter of the porch.

My hand rested on my stomach.

"It's alright little one. Mommy's here."


	2. When the pain of a broken heart consumes

**Chapter one:**

"Bella?" a voice called from far away.

I recognized the deep gravelly voice of Charlie, my father. I could see him in the traditional flannel shirt and worn blue jeans he wore on his down time.

"Bella what are you doing here?" He asked walking off the porch and towards me with an umbrella.

Rain continued to poor as if mother nature was having the same feelings I was. As if the rain was her way of consoling me in my desperate time of need. The only problem being that nothing, no one could console me at this point. My heart was gone, sitting somewhere miles away while I stood in my father's yard practically drowned from the rain.

Was it raining? Where he was?

My thoughts traveled the miles to where he was and the whole in my chest burned. I gripped my heart firmly as if I would be able to hold it together.

"Let's get you out of the rain." Charlie said awkwardly.

Nothing had changed. Charlie always had a problem with tears, or any sort of emotional issues I ever had in all the years I lived with him, after my mom remarried. He didn't touch me as he led me into the warmth of his house, but I felt the heat from his hand on my back.

It wasn't comforting seeing as I had walked out on him back then.

I sat on the worn couch trying to block out the thoughts of late movie nights we had shared together. Stolen kisses while my dad got another beer, a quick grope and heavy make out session when he had to run to the seven eleven up the road for another six pack.

"Are you going to tell me why you're here?" Charlie asked, bringing me out of my thoughts and painful memories.

"You were right." I mumbled unintelligibly.

"I'm sorry?" he asked.

"I said you were right." I said a little louder.

"Right about what exactly?" He asked sitting in his lazy boy.

"He left me." I said softly trying to contain the sobs that threatened to come out.

I saw a small smirk on my father's face. He told me this day would come. When I told him that we were moving to the city to live together, he looked me dead in the eye and said 'don't come crying to me when he breaks your heart or leaves you pregnant and alone'. Who knew it would be both that had me crying on his front lawn at eleven o'clock in the morning.

Three hours and twenty three minutes ago my heart was mangled. I wiped way the fresh tears that were pouring out of my eyes.

"I hate to say I told you so but…" Charlie trialed off. "I told you so kiddo."

"Please stop."I cried. "I didn't ask for your boasting. You were right, I should have listened to you. I can't change the fact that I didn't nor can I regret the fact that I didn't. So just stop."

"Then why are you here for Bells? Money, cause if it's that, you know I don't have much."

"I don't want your money." I cried. My stomach knotted up, this could go two ways. "I just need a place to stay. I'll pay you rent if it's needed. I can work from here, I already cleared it with Alice."

Alice, my best friend. His cousin. She ran her own fashion magazine and I was the editor. I had called her and told her my predicament and she told me that I could continue to work from where ever I ended up as long as I took care of myself. I hadn't had the heart to inform her about my secret, just the fact that I was homeless.

At first she had offered the spare bedroom of her small house she bought with her husband of a year and a half, Jasper was his best friend. I thought about it and came to the conclusion that if he was going to leave me that I didn't want any of his friends knowing what was going on with me, unfortunately that meant that my best friend was left out of the loop.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Charlie asked scratching the thick scruff on his cheek.

"I'm not ready to. So no not yet. Please, I have nowhere else to go." I begged.

"Bella, you're my daughter. Despite the past I will always be here for you. There is no question of whether or not you could stay here. I'll go grab your bag if you want to take a shower to warm up." Charlie pulled the keys to my Prius out of my frozen finger.

"There's nothing in it." I explained. "I didn't pack anything."

"You mean to tell me that stupid ass kicked you out without letting you even pack? Where the hell is he right now? I'm goi-"

"He didn't kick me out Charlie." I stood up. "I have to have some old clothes around here and I'll go shopping as soon as I get everything situated with work."

I heard him grumble something but ignored it as I made my way upstairs to the bedroom that had belonged to me in high school. Everything was the way I left it, clothes strewn across the floor and double bed where I had thrown them around in my haste to leave with Edward.

My heart started beating erratically in my chest and the hole felt a hell of a lot worse now that I was thinking his name. I clutched my chest and sat on the dusty bed amongst all of my clothes from two years ago.

_Flashback:_

"_You're not moving in with some boy Bella." Charlie growled as he followed me up the stairs._

"_I'm eighteen you can't tell me what to do anymore Charlie."I screamed._

"_None of this puppy love works out in the end Bella. I'm telling you your either going to end up pregnant or he's going to decide that he doesn't like playing house with you. Please just go to college like we planned." Charlie begged._

"_I love him. None of that will happen to us. We're different from you and mom. Just because it didn't work out with the two of you ,doesn't mean it's going to happen to me." I knew it was hitting below the belt to bring up my mother and father's relationship. But it worked._

"_Fine go live with him. But I'm telling you Bella, if he hurts you, don't come crying to me because I won't be here to clean up his mess."_

_I slammed my bedroom door in his face and started throwing things into trash bags I had already taken from the kitchen._

"_I will never do that to you my Bell." Edward said remorsefully from my bedroom window._

"_I know Edward but he doesn't." I smiled sadly._

I glanced over at the window partially hoping that he would be there. Waiting to take me away from it all. My heart squeezed painfully in my chest and I gasped.

"You alright Bella?" Charlie asked from the other side of the door. "I'm going to make something for dinner if you want to get dry and come down."

"Thanks dad." I said in a small voice, tears streaming down my face.

I found a pair of old gym shorts that used to come up to my knees in high school. Now they were a little tighter and about three inches above the knee. Nothing skanky but a little uncomfortable. I reminded myself that as soon as I got everything settled, I would go shopping.

Besides pretty soon I would need new clothes. The doctor had told me I would start showing soon, and that was weeks ago. I pulled an old t-shirt on without looking at it or caring if it matched my shorts.

I could hear the old radio Charlie kept on the windowsill above the sink playing oldies and smiled slightly as I made my way downstairs.

_Under the boardwalk down by the sea. On a blanket with my baby, is where I'll be._

Charlie sang along in his scratchy voice as I entered the kitchen.

"Hope you're in the mood for fish." He said flipping some over in the skillet and sending a wave of smell over towards me.

I spun on my heel and rushed to the small bathroom off the side of the stair case.

"Bella?" Charlie asked sincerely from the other side of the closed door.

Instead of answering him I emptied the contents of my stomach and it wasn't much. After dry heaving for almost five minutes the rushing in my ears calmed and I was able to lean back against the wall to relax.

"Bella?" Charlie asked again as he opened the door slowly. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah." I croaked rubbing my sweaty face on a towel I found under the sink. "I've just had a lot going on today."

"Uh huh. How far along are you?" he handed me a glass of water.

"What?" I sat up a little straighter.

"You're mom had the same problem with fish when she was carrying you." He smiled sadly. "So I'm going to be a grandpa?"

"Uh, yeah I just didn't want you to find out so soon." I sipped the water. "I don't want this to be the reason why you're allowing me to stay here. And you won't have to worry about a thing, I'm perfectly capable of handling all of the finances."

"Is this the reason for the fight?" he helped me stand up.

"Yeah, but before you freak out and grab your hunting rifle it's my fault."

"Well I'm pretty sure it takes two people to make a baby Bella." He snapped.

"Yeah if I told him about it." I replied sitting on the couch and pulling a throw around my shoulders.

"You didn't tell the father of your child that you're pregnant? Bella that is just stupid." He scolded. "What are you thinking?"

"That he didn't want to give me time to tell him."

"You're confusing me Bella." Charlie sat across from me staring quizzically.

"Edward and I met at our favorite coffee shop before I went to work and he got off of his twenty four hour shift at the hospital. Before I could even order my tea he started hounding me about what is going on. I guess I pulled away from him because I was scared." I sobbed. "H-he told me that I either tell him what was going on or he was leaving."

"Oh baby. Shh now, everything will be alright." Charlie cooed rubbing my back to get me to calm down.

"How will it be alright daddy?" Alright I haven't called my dad, daddy for almost eleven years. "He's my everything and I ruined it all."

"Bella, he didn't have the confidence to wait out whatever you were going through. It will be alright. You need to calm down because you're carrying my grandchild in there." He patted my stomach. "And I'll be damned if something happens to either of you."

"I love you daddy." I cried against him while hugging him tightly.

"I love you too baby girl, always will." He held me while I cried until his stomach started growling.

"Looks like we're having pizza." He chuckled letting me go and grabbing the phone. "Still like mushroom extra sauce?"

"Yeah." I said, my voice raspy from crying for the past hour and a half straight.

We ate in silence and I excused myself to go upstairs and clean up my bedroom. After making sure everything was clean and smelled nice I left the window open for the fresh air and layed down for a quick nap.

I don't know how long I slept but when I woke up to my cell phone ringing, it was dark outside. I shuffled over to where it was plugged in, thank god I always had a charger in the car.

_**EDWARD**_: Flashed across the screen numerous times. I let it go to voicemail and hit the floor clutching my chest.

"Bella you have to stop screaming, my neighbors are going think I'm killing someone in here." Charlie said calmly as he tried to get me to stand up.

"I can't, it hurts too much." I gasped. "I can't breathe. It ju-" the pain consumed me and the last thing I heard was Charlie yelling my name.


	3. Consequences of living in a small town

**Chapter two:**

The beeping brought me out of my own personal heaven. My personal heaven was black. There was no drama or crying in my heaven just because there was nothing. Absolutely nothing. I couldn't tell if I was blind in my heaven because it was so dark. And then the beeping started and I opened my eyes to the extremely bright room.

"Whatsgoingon?" I said my words garbled because my mouth was so dry.

"You gave us quite a scare Bella." Doctor Gerandy patted my leg. "Your father just stepped outside to talk to Doctor Cullen so I can explain what happened if you like. Or would you rather him be here?"

"Why is he talking to Doctor Cullen?" I sat up to fast and got lightheaded. The machine that was monitoring my heart rate started freaking out.

"Calm down Bella. It's fine, they were just discussing something." Dr. Gerandy explained. "All this stress isn't good for your little one so deep breaths, in out. Good." She coached me.

"No you don't understand he can't know. Dr. Cullen cannot find out about this. Please." I started hyperventilating.

"Bella calm down or I'm going to sedate you." She warned.

I focused on the beeping of another machine. Staring at it. "That's the baby's heartbeat. Nice and strong just like their momma."

"My baby?"

"Yep. Now let me go get your dad really quick." She walked over to the door and my heart rate picked up. "Calm down."

She squeezed out of the door so that no one could see inside my room. I could hear Charlie's voice rising a little, but ignored it as I searched for anything to drink around me with no luck.

"How are you baby girl?" Charlie asked taking the seat next to me.

"Thirsty." I croaked.

"Oh hang on I'll get you some water." He walked over to a small table I hadn't noticed sitting by the door and poured me a cup of water. I drank slowly afraid that my stomach would roll if I drank too fast.

"What happened?" I asked sitting back and trying to ignore the needle sticking out of my arm.

"You had a panic attack. I had to call 9-1-1 because I didn't know what to do, you just sort of blacked out. You scared the hell out of me Bells."

"I'm sorry." I whispered. "What did Carlisle want?"

"Nothing you need to worry about." Charlie said confidently.

"Bull shit. Tell me now."

"Fine. He wanted to check on you when he saw you brought in but I refused to let him. I figured if Edward didn't know, you wouldn't want his father knowing either. It's going to be hard to hide soon though."

"I know. I'll figure it out when I get to that point." I sighed. "He called me. That's what brought on the panic attack."

"Bella." Charlie patted my arm awkwardly.

"No, how can I get through this when a call causes me to black out? Why is he calling me? He left me." I started crying again.

"I know honey. Calm down. We'll figure this out."

"What's there to figure out? His parent's live in this town dad. They're going to know what's going on." I sobbed.

"Bella." Dr. Gerandy said calmly as she entered the room. "You mustn't worry about everyone else. The importance is to take care of you and your baby."

"I know but, I just." I started sobbing uncontrollably.

"When you calm down we are discharging you." She smiled. "I know how you hate hospitals. And you don't have to worry about Doctor Cullen finding out around here. Doctor patient confidentiality." She assured me.

"They're going to find out sooner or later." I murmured.

"True. But in your own time."

An hour and a half later I was discharged and riding the elevator with my father down to the parking lot. We hadn't said much after my melt down in my hospital room so it was awkward.

As we were exiting the hospital doors I saw a shock of blond hair and knew that Carlisle was following us. I chose to act like I saw nothing and got into the cruiser of one of my father's deputies for the ride home.

"How you doing Bella?" Officer Black asked as I put my seat belt on.

"I've been better. You?"

"Just great. Jake and Nessie made me a grandpa two months ago so I can't complain." He smiled proudly.

"Hm, well that's nice." I let my hand travel to my stomach.

My father was going to be a grandpa in a few short months and he couldn't even boast about it. I felt guilty.

"Nice to see you back here." Billy smiled.

"Yeah." I faked a yawn and sat back against the seat tiredly.

"How's the fishing been lately Charlie?"

"Great, as soon as your little Titus is ready we should plan a trip out to the lake with him."

"Yeah, I already bought him his first fishing pole. Ness yelled at me telling me that he wasn't getting in my rickety ass boat until he could swim." Billy laughed.

"Well what she doesn't know won't kill her." Charlie guffawed.

The trip back to the house was quick and I was thankful. Charlie helped me out of the backseat and into the living room carefully, as if I might break or something.

"Why don't you rest in front of the TV for a little while and I'll run to the diner for dinner later." He offered.

"I can cook Cha-Dad." I said.

"No, Dr. Gerandy wants you to rest for a few days, so no cooking or cleaning." He chided.

"Yes sir." I smiled.

"Good now find something to watch, I'm going to go take a shower." He handed me the remote and TV guide, wrapped me up in a blanket and gave me an extra pillow out of the closet before going upstairs.

I found an episode of Gilmore girls on ABC Family and sat in my Charlie-made cocoon. Forks was a lot like Stars Hallow, you've got your weirdos, your nosy neighbors and now with me here unwed pregnant ladies as well.

I knew I had a difficult road ahead of me. Yeah we were in the twenty first century, but here in Forks everything remained closely knitted. Everyone knew everyone else and their business. There were no secrets in Forks.

He would find out about my little nudger soon, and that scared the shit out of me.

I decided that since I wouldn't be able to get up and do anything for the next week due to the watchful eye of Chief Swan, I asked him to bring me my laptop bag and set up my internet account with his WiFi. Yes my father had WiFi in his house.

After sending Alice an email that I would be able to edit things for her magazine I decided to do a little online shopping because a trip to Port Angeles was out of the question. Seattle wasn't far from there and I didn't want to run into Edward... ever.

I ordered some maternity clothes and somehow ended up in the baby section of the website looking at different things.

"Your mother used to shop through this catalog when she was pregnant with you." Charlie said from behind me causing me to jump. "Sorry I didn't mean to scare you." He chuckled.

"It's alright." I blushed. "She used to shop through a catalog?"

"Yeah, after she got bigger she was to afraid to go anywhere not to mention the fact that she couldn't fit behind the steering wheel and I was always working you know simple deputy duty back then. So she got this magazine from one of her friends and started running up our credit cards with little dresses and tiny socks for you. Every day the UPS guy was here and Renee acted like it was Christmas." He smiled thinking back to my baby days.

"Well, I decided since I was going to be on lockdown to go ahead and order a few things I would need. Too bad this company doesn't sell deodorant over the internet. I guess I'll just have to give my good old dad a big hug to do a run to walmart for me." I batted my eyelashes.

"Name the time and the items you need baby." He ruffled my hair. "Can't believe my baby is having a baby.

Two weeks later I was driving down the familiar roads of Forks on my way to go grocery shopping. I had changed my cell number and only given a select few the new one. The Cullen's had not tried to contact me and I was glad that I was being given my space.

Today was my first outing and I was nervous. The small stomach I had coming to Forks was now a small potbelly. The clothes that I had ordered over the internet had arrived and the only thing I didn't realize ordering maternity clothes. They accentuate the belly.

The dark purple short sleeved top and white capris I was wearing definitely showed off the fact that I was expecting, and they were the least accentuating.

I parked in front of the grocery store and took a deep breath. Of course it being a Tuesday afternoon everyone and their grandmothers were at the grocery store. Gathering my purse and every ounce of courage I had, I kept my head down as I got out of my car, got a cart and entered the store.

It was quiet. A little too quiet. I stole a quick glance and noticed that everyone in the direct vicinity of me was either staring at my stomach or talking to someone around them in hushed tones giving me quick glances.

I pulled my shopping list out and ignored them all as I made my way to the dry goods. Everything was going fine, me minding my own business until a shopping cart 'accidentally' knocked into me.

"Oh I'm so sorry." A familiar feminine voice said. "Bella Swan is that you?"

I looked up to see none other than Lauren Mallory, with a small child in the seat of the shopping cart chewing on one of those baby biscuits. She made a big deal of showing off her tiny little diamond of a wedding ring as she brushed the child's hair back.

"Hi Lauren." I said looking down at my shopping list.

"How are you? Your positively glowing Bella." She was digging for information. I guess some people never get out of high school.

"Yeah, sort of happens I guess." I said lamely.

"Well, where is Edward? Are your fingers too swollen for your wedding band? That happened when I was carrying James here. Tyler, my husband bought me this beautiful chain so that I could wear it on my neck. Close to my heart." She explained.

"No, E-" my heart clenched. "Edward isn't here. We aren't married." My stomach started getting queasy and I knew I had to get out of here quick.

"Oh, I didn't know you two broke up." Laruen said in a fake sympathetic way. "Who's the daddy then?" she gestured to my swollen stomach.

I was about to answer her when someone whipped around the corner. "Lauren why don't you take the information you already got from the poor girl and go tell all your little friends." A familiar shock of bronze ringlets attached to a beautiful head and body shook towards Lauren. "And you couldn't wear the damn wedding ring because it turned your finger green after three months." Nessie growled.

Lauren stared at her in anger before whipping the cart around probably giving poor James whiplash in her haste to leave the isle.

"Hi BB how's it going?" Nessie pulled me into a tight hug.

"Great, peachy now that you're here." I hugged her back.

Nessie and I met when we were in highschool, I had gotten detention for chewing gum in math and she had beaten up a girl named Jessica one of Lauren's posse. While Mr. Banner quietly napped with his feet propped up on his ancient desk, we passed notes to pass the hour and became acquaintances. I hadn't talked to her in two years.

"Sure, that's why you look like you're about to break down in the cookie isle." She giggled. "Come on let's finish this shopping and you can buy me some ice-cream at Coldstone."

"I don't mind doing this alone. I can already tell you that this town isn't going to be very welcoming or understanding about my predicament." I tried to insist that she go ahead and leave me in exile.

"And since when have I ever followed a crowd dammit?" she growled. "Come on, safety in numbers."

We walked around the entire store, even going back to an isle we had already passed just because Ness wanted to rub it in people's faces that she was talking to the black sheep of the town. They continued to stare, they continued to point but I tried not to let it bother me.

At the checkout everyone was still slowly following us around whispering. I could hear one of the old women that I had seen Lauren talking to earlier whispering quite loudly to one of her elderly friends.

"Yes, she's back here to have her bastard because the Cullen boy caught her cheating and won't have anything to do with it until he gets a paternity test." She explained.

"Well, serves her right doing something like that to the poor boy. I always knew she was trouble. Just like that Webber girl."

They had quickly moved from my turmoil onto Angela Webber. The local reverends daughter, she had gotten pregnant by her mathelete boyfriend in eleventh grade and was sent away to her 'aunt's house' for a few months. When she came back she was a little puffy and depressed and everyone knew the truth. She lost all of her friends except for Ben. On their graduation night they ran off together and went back to her aunt's house to get the baby. The last I heard, they lived somewhere in Maine with two other babies. Angie a stay at home mom and Ben a computer wiz that works for google.

The old ladies minds weren't too far away from me. I felt a flutter in my tummy and rubbed the spot where I felt the baby kick from the inside and their eyes zeroed in.

"Look at her, so proud of her mistake."

Mistake.

That one word opened the flood gates. I quickly gave Nessie my credit card and rushed out to my car. Glad for once that I had gotten the darkest tint on the windows to hide the fact that I was bawling behind the wheel.

They were calling my baby a mistake. This baby was made out of love. Edward and I had once loved each other. I still loved him with all of my being even though he didn't share the same feelings anymore. When we conceived, we were in love though.

I closed my eyes as tears streamed down my face until a knock on the passenger side window brought me out of my thoughts.

"Hey pop your trunk and I'll load them for you." Nessie called.

I popped the trunk and got out to help her but she wouldn't let me. "You can definitely tell you've been crying B. Go ahead and get back in." she insisted.

Three minutes later she was sitting in the passenger seat. "So I figured you wouldn't want to go to Coldstone so I decided to just grab some good old Blue Bunny instead." She pulled a tub of birthday cake out of the brown paper bag. "Let's go vent, you look like you could use it."

"More than you know." I smiled sadly.


	4. So what you mean to say is

**Chapter three**

I was sixteen when I met Edward Cullen. My mother had left Charlie taking me with her when I was just a baby and the only time I ever spent in Forks was during summer holidays. When I turned sixteen Renee told me that she had fallen in love with the assistant baseball coach at my high school and that not only were they getting married, I was going to be a big sister shortly afterwards.

My response was waking up in the middle of the night and calling Charlie to ask him if I could come live with him. Knowing my mother I would end up having to raise their baby while she tried out her latest trend. Our relationship wasn't like the usual mother daughter, ever since I was old enough to ride a bus I had been the one to make sure the bills were paid on time, there were groceries in the fridge and that her work uniform was clean along with my own duties as a student. Charlie agreed and two weeks later I was getting off the plane after a blow up that conisted of my mother calling me selfish because I refused to stay and help her prepair for her nuptials.

_Flashback:_

_It was fall, middle of the semester and I was fresh meat at Forks High. Alice Brandon was the only person I had ever hung out with when I came for my visits and the only person at Forks High I knew. The second Charlie and I arrived back at his old house Alice was there jumping around the porch like a crack head and we had spent the entire weekend catching up on lost time. She waited until we were on our way to school that following monday that her uncle and aunt had sent their son Edward to live with her family because he was hanging out with the wrong crowd._

_She was bound and determined to set us up stating that we were perfect for each other._

_"Bella I'm telling you he's not hard on the eyes and you both are the broody silent types. It's a match made in heaven and he's the best your going to get around this stink hole." Alice bounced beside me and I ignored her as we made our way into the school, everyone stared at me like I had grown a third eyeball and webbed feet. I focused on the map in my hands trying to find my way to first period._

"_Heads up." I heard someone yell just as I was whacked in the face causing me to fall on the ground._

"_Jesus friggin Christ are you alright?" a smooth voice had asked me._

_I opened my eyes despite the pain in my cheek. His apple green eyes bore into mine with so much care. I focused on his pouty lips and crooked smile as he ran a hand nervously through his copper penny colored hair._

"_Can you hear me? How many fingers am I holding up?" He asked nervously holding his hand up in a peace sign._

"_Two, I'm alright. Just a little stunned." I answered truthfully._

"_Let me help you up. You're probably going to want to go to the nurse for some ice. That cheek is going to be sore for some time." He placed his warm hand on my cheek. "I think you might have a black eye thanks to that ass hole. I tried to warn you though."_

"_Thanks." I whispered._

The boy walked me to the clinic, his arm firmly placed at my waist to make sure I was stable. I had to sit in the clinic for about two hours while the nurse watched the bump on my face shrink and the bruise on my eye start to form. The boy that had helped me was forced to go to class while I stayed in the small room by myself with an ice pack pressed against my smarting cheek. When I was finally allowed to go back to class it was time for lunch, I had missed half of my first day of school and Alice met me at the entrance freaking out because apparantly word had traveled fast and everyone knew that the new girl had gotten pegged in the head with a football.

She refused to allow me to grab anything to eat because she was excited to introduce me to her cousin Edward. Four people sat at the table she drug me too, one of those people was the boy that had helped me.

His name was Edward Cullen and he turned my world upside down with a crooked smile and half of his pasta mush he shared with me that day. We were inseparable after that. When his parent's the Cullen's decided that he had behaved enough to go back to Chicago, he refused, resulting in them moving to Forks. We had done everything together, prom, graduation and then moving out of the small town together hoping to never have to look back at it.

My eyes were too dry to cry but it didn't keep my throat from constricting as I stared at Forks High from the driver's side of my car. Nessie sat next to me holding the carton of ice cream and two wooden spoons.

"It's starting to melt B." she said quietly as not to startle me.

"I'm not hungry anymore." I whispered.

"Well I am. Breastfeeding Titus allows me to eat anything and everything I want." She shoved a giant spoonful of the melting ice cream into her mouth. "Hmm, are you sure you don't want any?"

"Positive." I murmured.

"Well, talk B. What brings you back for Forks after two years?" she shoveled ice cream ice cream in her mouth like there was no tomorrow.

"Where is Titus anyway?" I asked trying to keep her from interrogating me.

Yes I needed to talk, but at the moment my brain was befuddled. Where to begin? Would she call me stupid once she knew the story behind my being back in my hometown?

"He's with Billy and Charlie at the station." She answered simply. "Nice try. Spill."

Damn I thought bringing up the bouncing baby boy would distract her for at least a little while.

"Edward and I broke up." I told her. "I haven't told him about the baby."

It was quiet and I watched Nessie's mouth open and close like a fish out of water before she finally spoke. "Why?"

"Because, I knew about the baby. I wasn't ready to tell him and he ended up calling me out and making me feel really low at a coffee shop. He told me that if I didn't tell him what was happening he was leaving and I just sat there." Somehow tears produced and fell down my cheeks.

"Bella." Ness grabbed my hand with her cold one. "It's not your fault."

"How is it not my fault Ness? I let him walk out of that coffee shop without me. I let him leave. I changed my cell number after he called. I've been avoiding going out in public just because I'm afraid of running into his parent's. I wouldn't be surprised if they already know about the baby with the way those women were talking at the store." my heart started to throb painfully but I tried to ignore it while continueing to cry.

"So what if they do? Your living in the same city as them, B. if you don't want them to find out about the baby and eventually tell Edward, then you need to either move or stop trying to hide it. It's worse if you hide it." She gave my hand a squeeze.

"I just have a lot on my mind right now with the baby and everything. Charlie has been helping me out a lot." My voice cracked. "I don't know what I would do without him."

Nessie needed to go pick up the baby from the station so I drove her back to the grocery store after I calmed down enough.

"Hey if you need anything, and I mean anything at all just give me a call. I do nothing all day but watch Titus and cook for Jake."

"That in itself is an important job right there." I joked.

"Yeah but I still have a lot of time on my hands. Call me and we'll hang out." She gave me an extra squeeze and rubbed my stomach softly before jumping out of my car and jogging over to her small van.

I drove home and unloaded all of the groceries, putting them in their correct cabinets and drawers. I decided to make a homemade vegetarian pot pie for dinner knowing that it was a tedious task that would keep my thoughts from straying to all of my many issues at the moment.

I peeled potatoes, cut the other vegetables and set them on simmer while I readied the crust. I was pouring the veggies into the crust when the doorbell rang making me jump.

"I'll be right there." I yelled as I finished pouring and washed my hands.

I opened the door to find Esme Cullen standing on the porch.

"Bella." She said sadly.

"Hi Esme." I greeted her trying to calm the panic.

"I was hoping that we could talk a little." She said hopefully.

"Sure, I was just making dinner. Come on in."

I held the door open giving her a large amount of space and she followed me into the kitchen. I noticed that she didn't even give my pregnant stomach a glance as she walked in.

"How are you Bella?"

"I'm alright. And you?" I answered as I rolled the dough for the top of pie.

"I've been better." She sighed. "Edward won't pick up his phone anymore."

"Oh shoot." I snapped as I caught my finger with the tip of the knife. I inspected the cut but surprisingly wasn't bleeding.

"Are you okay?" She was beside me in an instant inspecting the scrape.

"Yeah, just a scratch. I've definitely had worse." I laughed.

It was quiet for a few minutes before Esme's warm topaz eyes looked over to me sadly.

"Were you ever planning on coming out of hiding?"

"I'm sorry?"

"You've been here for almost a month and today is the first time I've heard any news of you leaving this house." She explained.

"I had a health related issue. The doctors said it would be best if I just relaxed for a little while and Charlie overreacted. I was on house arrest for over a week and a half." I felt my baby kick softly and rested my hand over his or her imprint.

"Is.." she stared at my hand. "Is everything alright?"

"For the most part. I've just had it a little rough for a little while." I answered truthfully.

"Well whose fault is that Bella?" I could detect a hint of anger in her voice. "You ran off without saying anything to him. Not caring to let him know where you were going or the fact that you were carrying his child."

"Get out." I snapped.

"No. You think you can just come to this town and get pity from everyone. Try to make them feel sorry for you when you're the one that left my son without telling him that he was going to be a father."

"I said get the hell out of this house. You don't know anything about what I'm going through." Hot tears spilled out of my eyes down my cheeks.

I stood up and walked to the front door holding it open as she walked through it. A few of the neighbors were outside, checking the mail or watering their lawns. Esme made it half way to her Range Rover before turning around.

"I'll go but I want to know if you ever planning on telling my son that he is going to be a father." She said loudly causing everyone outside to look towards my dad's house.

Her words hurt me, causing the hole in my heart to throb painfully. I held my hand on my chest and fought to keep breathing.

"You can't do this to him Bella." She seethed.

"How do you even know it's his?" I asked loudly without thinking.

Her face paled and she remained silent as did the neighbors. She turned around and walked over to her car on wobbly legs.

Esme was like the mother I never had and I had just ruined any chances of her being in her grandbabies life. I watched the purple SUV fly out of the drive way and down the road before collapsing on the front porch and sobbing loudly.

The neighbors could stand and stare all they wanted as Esme and I argued but the second she left and I started crying they went back to their business. No doubt, everyone would think of me as a whore tomorrow but I didn't care.

Charlie came home some time later and pulled me into the house. Apparently news travels fast in this town, one of his deputies heard it from a friend who heard it from someone else that Esme Cullen had showed up at his house and there was an altercation.

Charlie asked me what had happened a couple of times while I washed my face and pulled the pot pie out of the oven. Luckily in my breakdown, dinner didn't get burnt. My hormones were so off the wall I cried happy tears at that fact.

"Bella." Charlie said as we sat at the small table eating our dinner.

"Yeah?"

"You know this isn't going to be easy right?" he asked. "The town thinking that you are carrying a child conceived in an affair. What were you thinking?"

"That Esme wouldn't back off." I took a deep breath. "She hurt me with the things she was saying and I spoke before I thought. This baby is Edward's, there was no one else. There will never be anyone else."

"I know baby but do you ever plan on telling him about the baby? You're going to be finding out what it is in a few weeks aren't you?"

"I've decided to keep it a surprise."

"That's not answering my question." Charlie said sitting back in his chair and giving me a sympathetic look.

I slammed my hand on the table and he jumped. "I don't know okay. I just don't know if I will ever tell him. He doesn't deserve to know. He left me without giving me time to think things through."

"I know Bella. But one second you're blaming everything on him, the next it's your entire fault. You're confusing the hell out of me honey." He got up and rested his hand on my shoulder. "This town is going to eat you alive and I don't want that for you. Maybe you should call your mom."

I stood up so quickly my chair toppled over. "I'm not leaving Forks. It's my home. I'm not going to let a bunch of gossip mongers kick me out because they can't keep their mouths shut."

"Alright calm down." He squeezed my arm. "I just want you to be prepared."

"I don't care what they think. This is my baby and it's health and wellbeing is all that matters. I'm going upstairs to do some work. I'd like some time alone please." I turned around and walked up the stairs quickly.

Alice had emailed me a few articles that needed to be edited in the next couple of days for the up and coming issue. I turned on some music and opened the window to let the breeze in before sitting against the many pillows on my bed and pulling my laptop onto my knees.

How many articles can one person possibly write about fashion? Well, when it's Alice Brandon's magazine one can never have too many. I edited an article written solely on the fact that scarves can be worn in the summer and not just winter.

I was sending Alice my daily email to let her know that everything was okay when Charlie knocked on my bedroom door.

"Come in." I called.

He walked in with his head bowed and a chocolate bar in both hands. A peace offering that we had both used years ago when we made the other mad.

"I was hoping you wouldn't hold a grudge against your old man." He handed me the candy and sat on the foot of my bed.

"There's nothing to forgive dad. I know you're worried." The baby kicked and I grabbed his hand. "Here feel."

"It's amazing." He whispered. "You would never kick for me. You were so stubborn. Still are."

"Dad, I don't want to go live with mom. I haven't talked to her in over four and a half years. Can you imagine that phone call? 'Hey mom, sorry I haven't talked to you in almost five years. Guess just wanted to say that I'm pregnant and in fear of being the town pariah was hoping that you and your young stud of a husband could take me in'. Yeah I don't think so dad." I laughed ruefully.

"Bella." He scolded. "I'm just looking out for what's best for you and your baby."

"I know dad. And I thank you for that." I squeezed his hand. "But I don't even know if she's still married to that guy. Or even if she's still in Jacksonville. If I'm going to have this baby, I want him or her to know their grandfather."

Charlie's eyes got misty as he pulled me into a hug.

"And I'm going to take him fishing every weekend." He said softly against my hair.

"And if it's a girl?"

"Then she's going to be a fisher woman just like you when you were littler." He laughed.

"I hated fishing with you." I laughed sadly.

"I know but I'll train her from a young age. She'll love it."

"Whatever you say old man. The only thing I ask is that you don't start talking to my stomach about fishing. At least wait until they are here."

"Deal." He said sadly. "Bella I won't hold it against you if you ever feel the need to leave Forks. I've lived here my whole life and I know how people can be here."

"Dad." I grabbed his hand.

"No let me talk. If you ever feel the need to leave please just tell me before you run off."

"I promise even though it's never going to happen. I was supposed to grow up here, I plan on allowing my child to do the same." I said sincerely.

"I know baby, but you don't understand. You're going to be treated like the pariah. The scarlet letter of Forks."


	5. I made a choice but can I live with it?

**Chapter four.**

Charlie was right.

Everything he said about the hardships I would face in the god awful town started precisely the day after we had our heart to heart on my bed.

_Flashback:_

"_I'm really sorry that you have to go all by yourself to this Bella." Charlie said sympathetically. "Billy is sick and we have to have someone stay and watch dispatch."_

"_I understand dad. We didn't know that they were going to have a last minute cancelation."_

_My doctor's office had called bright and early to inform me that they had an open appointment for my scheduled sonogram. My health insurance allowed me to have a 3-d sonogram and due to the fact that Forks was so tiny it was something that needed to be scheduled ahead of time, it was also something I had completely forgot about so when they called I was estatic._

_I had done my little happy dance, reveling in the possibility of being able to see my baby for the first time. The last time I had a sonogram was when I found out I was pregnant and my baby was nothing but a small jelly fish looking creature._

_Now at just about five months and a couple days give or take he or she would be human looking._

_I woke up Charlie in my excitement and he was upset that he had to work._

"_Why don't you call Ness, and see if she can come with you?" he offered._

"_Can't, Titus has what Billy has so she is stuck home with him." I smiled. "I'll be fine. I'll bring by the pictures as soon as I get done and maybe some lunch for you and the guys."_

"_Can't wait baby girl. I'll see you soon. Drive safely." Charlie said sternly patting my stomach and rubbing it Budha style._

"_Will do daddyo." I laughed._

_I sent Nessie a text message letting her know that I had made it to the office safely, once I parked my car in the small parking garage in town. I checked my email as I walked to the doctor's office and realized that I had nothing to work on for the weekend._

_The nurse walked me back and helped me get situated on the table with my shirt tucked into my bra and my pants unbuttoned. My baby kicked swiftly and I prayed that I wouldn't pee my pants with all the water I had to consume to get this done._

"_Bella. How are you doing today?" Dr. Gerandy greeted as she entered the room._

_I was glad that she was the only OB/GYN in Forks because she was sincere in my need to keep the pregnancy a secret for a little while. She was the only one outside of my tight circle of trustworthy people in Forks that knew the truth. That Edward was the father of my baby and even though they didn't know why they also knew that he knew absolutely nothing about it._

"_I'm alright. Feeling a little fat but nothing to complain about." I shifted awkwardly trying to get comfortable on the hard table and crinkly paper._

"_Alright well let's get this show on the road. Are you wanting to know the sex today?" She asked placing her cold hands on my stomach and shaking lightly, pressing briefly._

_My baby went haywire karate chopping and kicking at my stomach. I silently begged it not to go for the bladder but they were relentless._

"_No, I want to be surprised." I said softly._

"_Wow, big decision." She measured my belly and pulled a cart with the machine on it over._

"_Yeah, I already got a few neutral things and I have shopping lists set up at a few online places so all I have to do is press enter and it will order everything for either a boy, or a girl." I explained._

"_Well, isn't someone being smart. I've had more than one person go by their feelings and end up having a little boy with nothing to wear home but a tiny pink dress and a bow." She laughed._

"_Not me. I have a onesie and small neutral colored jacket picked out that the baby will come home in." I smiled thinking about the onesie I ordered knowing Charlie would like it._

_The sonogram was over before it began. Dr. Gerandy counted ten fingers and ten toes before she turned the screen to me and allowed me to gaze at my tiny miracle. They had Edward's lips and nose and at that thought I started to cry._

"_It's alright Bella. Your baby is perfectly healthy. Right on target." She calmly cleaned my stomach._

"_I know."_

_While I walked back to the parking garage I called Charlie to let him know that I would be by the station in a little while to show him the printouts from the sonogram. I had just sent a picture message to Nessie when I saw my car._

_The headlights had been bashed in, the entire car itself covered with the contents of a nearby garbage can. I didn't cry over my car. Instead I calmly got on the phone and called my father to come get me. I had to list off the different things that had happened to my car. From the four slashed tires to the word **SLUT** written in lipstick across the windshield._

I sat in my bedroom in my father's house thinking about my life and what had became of it.

My car wouldn't be ready for another three days because they had to custom order some part that had been destroyed. Forks was a small town so hybrids weren't something Jake's shop was entirely familiar with. Luckily he was able to get one of his college buddies to come to Forks to help with the rebuild of my car because he wasn't familiar with the mechanics. James worked quickly and thoroughly acording to Charlie, I wasn't aloud down to the shop because he was afraid the damage would upset me. Too bad it already had when I saw it the first time. Charlie hadn't been able to find the culprit and an entire part of the wall at the station had been devoted to any information about it. Despite the fact that my insurance covered it all, Charlie was looking for someone to pay for the damages.

I had been stuck in the house for a week and a half without a car. Nessie was still nursing Titus and now Jake back to health after they got the bug that Billy had been carrying resulting in everyone except for her being sick. Charlie only had the cruiser and I refused to willingly be driven around in a police car.

Everything was done for work, Alice had done the final changes and I had just received the next issue of her magazine this morning through fed ex. Distributing would begin the following morning and it looked fabulous. I had checked and rechecked every article to make sure there were no mistakes and sent her a quick email informing her it was perfect.

Everyone in town knew that I was pregnant. I was afraid for the day I would wake up and Edward would be here on my doorstep. No doubt thinking that I was in fact a slut to have a baby with someone else while I was still with him.

A smaller part of me was afraid that he wouldn't show up at all and that made no sense seeing as I was the one that dissapeared.

I cut some apples and dipped some peanut butter onto a plate before heading out into the back yard.

I knew I should contact Edward and inform him about the baby that would be here in four short months. He would want to know wouldn't he? He deserved the chance to make the decision of wanting to know his daughter or son.

I felt like I was playing a god of sorts. Making decisions for someone other than myself. I was greedy in the fact that I only cared about myself and the heartache I would face when Edward showed up to see his baby, not wanting anything to do with me.

But then again. Esme could have told him that the baby I was having wasn't his. Perhaps that's why he hasn't attempted to contact me even though I had been the one to get my cell number changed. He knew my father's house number yet the phone never rang unless it was Ness, or someone at the station for Charlie.

I was stuck in a spiral of different decisions, mistakes and problems.

I wanted Edward to know about the baby, but then I didn't.

I wanted him to come find me, to help me get through this hard time that I was going through all by myself. But I didn't want to go to him.

I wanted to be with him, but I knew he wanted nothing to do with me.

I rested in an old patio chair and stared into the forest around me trying to calm my erratic thoughts.

Eventually it started sprinkling and I hoisted myself up to head inside for shelter when I heard a noise coming from the front yard. Calmly I let myself in the back door and shuffled my way to the front windows peeking out through the shades and what I saw caused my heart to start banging around in my chest and a cold sweat break out over my body.

Three teenage boys stood on the hood of a beat up ford tossing eggs at Charlie's house and laughing.

I called Charlie to let him know the make and model of the car and what the boys looked like.

"That's some of the Crowley boys. Your friend Jessica from high school married their older brother. Don't know why they would be doing this shit though." Charlie grumbled. "Don't do anything, Bella just go upstairs to your room and sit away from the window until I get there."

"Come on dad it's just eggs." I said nervously. "I doubt they're the ass holes that did that to my car."

"I know Bella. But you being safe is my number one priority, do as I say please." Charlie insisted.

"Fine. See you when you get here."I hung up the phone and rushed upstairs hearing the pitter patter of eggs landing on the house and the porch.

I could hear the boys laughing and calling out crude names. I grabbed my pillow and held it tightly crying softly until Charlie found me.

"Don't worry Bella. We caught them." He soothed.

"No, this baby is going to grow up in a town that hates him or her. What did I ever do to any of them Charlie? Nothing." I cried my eyes out and he continued to hold me all the while two things happened in the process of a week.

First, I had cracked.

This town had broken my will with a simple egging of my father's house, a little bit of gossip, and a coward that had to ruin a pregnant girl's car almost leaving her stranded in this god foresaken town.

And then I grew a backbone.

Instead of hiding away in the house I took up walking for the health of myself and my unborn baby.

I wore earphones during my walks to drown out any thoughts other than the music and stepping one foot in front of the other. Charlie insisted that I carry mace, my cellphone and a stun gun with me everywhere I went and I was happy to oblige.

My iPod became my best friend when Nessie couldn't accompany me to the grocery store. I didn't let it get to me when the employees of the grocery store rudely cashed me out and 'accidentally' smashed my bread or cracked an egg. I tried to act sincere when I made them walk all the way back to the bread isle, or even dairy to get me replacements. I ignored the snide comments that fellow employees gave as we waited.

My car was returned to me freshly restored and every time I went out I made sure to sound the brand new alarm letting everyone know not to mess with me.

I helped Charlie as best as I could clean the egg off the side of the house. Mostly just handing him a rag or scraper while he stood on a ladder.

I took charge of my life albeit alone and a little scorned, but decided to make the best of what I had for both myself and my child.

I created a savings account for his or her college fund and did a lot of research on the things that I was going to be buying for them.

The stroller, car seat, swing, and even the highchair were the highest rated because my baby was going to have the best.

I had just left the post office when I saw Esme's purple range rover turn the corner. I kept my head down but couldn't resist the urge to take a peak just to see if Esme was doing well. She was the woman that acted as the stand in mother for me when mine gave up everything to do with me all those years ago. She was there to help me get ready for the prom I had attended with her son and gave me the safe sex talk before we left saving Charlie and I from the worlds most awkward conversation between father and teenage daughter.

I raised my head casually and almost threw up the cereal I had eaten for breakfast an hour before.

Esme glared at me from behind the wheel of her car. There was nothing remotely friendly from the stare she was giving me and I felt my skin crawl. The light had turned green but she remained in her spot before the car behind her honked bringing her out of her death stare.

As she accelerated and drove out of my line of sight I walked to my car and tried to swollow the overwhelming guilt of the choices that I had made by acting the way I had with Esme and our situation. It was something I would probably regret for the rest of my life but at the time I couldn't think of a way to make it any better.


	6. An unexpected visitor!

**Chapter five:**

At night my sleep was usually disturbed with weird freaky dreams. One night I was being chased by a giant pepperoni pizza that was screaming 'EAT ME'. Another night I was a princess at a ball dancing with a faceless man. Then as he dipped, three tiny midgets rolled out of my puffy skirt and started singing the lollipop guild song from the Wizard of Oz. I am terrified of the Wizard of Oz.

I was currently eating the biggest bowl of sour green grapes while birds flew around my head singing the song from Oliver in Company when I heard it.

A loud bang coming from downstairs brought me out of sleep rather abruptly. I sat up a little too quickly and had to fight the small battle with vertigo. Another loud bang rang through the house and I could hear someone battling with something.

Quietly I grabbed my robe and put it on over my sleep shirt. Opening the door to my bedroom I had two options: Try to take a sneak peak at the person that was breaking into Charlie's house and pee my pants, or go to the restroom before calling the police.

Baby made my decision for me, kicking me so swiftly in my bladder that I had to shuffle with my legs crossed down the hall to the bathroom. I left the door partially open as I relieved myself when I heard the fourth from the top step creak. I quickly finished and stood up redressing and cursing myself for not bringing my cell phone.

The only window in the bathroom was so tiny I don't think I would be able to get my arms and head through, not to mention the small beach ball that I had for a stomach. I remained as quiet as I could as I walked towards the bathroom door in effort to shut and lock it as quickly as possible. After that I would open the tiny bathroom window and scream my head off until someone came to help me.

Just as my hand touched the door knob, the door flew open with a small bang as it bounced off the wall and I screamed bloody murder.

"Jesus B. Chill the fuck out. It's just me." Alice yelled casually looking me over until her eyes rested on my stomach. "Wow baby. No wonder why you've been avoiding me. I told you cookie dough has just as much calories as baked cookies. It's alright the second I convince you to come back home with me, we can hit the gym. Javier will have you back into shape in no time." She sang.

"Alice I'm not fat." I snapped before backtracking. "I mean yes I'm fat. But I'm pregnant."

"I know. I was just fucking with you." She laughed. "So this is the reason behind your avoiding me like the plague?"

"Well yeah, I didn't want to come between you and your family. They're sort of against me. The whole town is against me at this point." I huffed. "What the hell are you doing here anyways?"

"Oh, well you're avoiding me. The magazine was a hoot and I decided to have a tiny little vacation to come spy on you. Try to talk you into coming home with me." She said nonchalantly.

"But that looks easier said than done now. Why didn't you tell me B?" Alice asked in a tiny hurt voice.

"I wanted to. Can we please go downstairs? I'm starving and we're having a heart to heart in a bathroom." I shooed her down the stairs.

"I wanted to really. But everything happened so fast I didn't have a chance to breath let alone tell you about the baby." I popped some egos into the toaster and pulled out the strawberry syrup I had made a few days ago.

"And what you said about the town? Does it have something to do with Aunt Esme? Because I went to see her before coming here and she was none too happy when she found out I was coming here." She tsked.

"It's because she and the rest of the town think that the baby isn't Edwards."

"WHAT?" she jumped up and grabbed two plates. "B, come on anyone that knows Edward and you, knows that you two would never do something like that too each other."

My silence answered her unasked question.

"No B. Come on, seriously. He thought you were cheating on him?" she pulled me down next to her and we started eating our waffles while I told her of the day I lost everything.

_Flashback:_

_Edward had just gotten off of his twenty four hour shift and I was on my way to the office for a meeting with Alice. We were thinking about hiring another editor so that I could start writing a weekly article and I was excited to get the show on the road._

_My day had started off slow and I was already running behind when a wave of nausea hit me causing me to run back into the house. After washing my face and brushing my teeth for the third time that morning my phone beeped with a text message._

**_Meet me at the coffee shop? E_**

_My stomach knotted up again and I debated whether or not to run back to the toilet. Instead I sipped some water from the faucet and texted him back with a quick yes and see you soon._

_I hadn't told him about the baby yet because I was afraid of what he would say. Instead of snuggling in bed with him like I had done every night since we moved in together, I stayed on my own side hugging my body pillow. We hadn't made love in the two weeks since I found out I was pregnant._

_I knew we weren't ready for a baby but there was no way I was getting rid of him or her._

_I grabbed my bag and a few saltine crackers before heading out. During the drive to the coffee shop, my heart was in my throat and my palms were sweaty against the steering wheel._

_I found him at a table by the window; his eyes were droopy with sleep after his long shift at the hospital. His hair was sticking up where he had run his hands threw it in frustration during his shift and he already had our coffee's waiting._

"_Hey baby." I said leaning down and kissing him softly on the lips but he didn't say or do anything._

_I pulled away and sat across from him thanking him for the coffee but he didn't reply._

"_I was just on my way to the office. Alice wants me to start doing an article of my own for the magazine so we have to hire a jun-" he cut me off with harsh words._

"_What the fuck are we doing Bella?"_

"_What do you mean?" I asked sitting back in my chair as if he had slapped me in the face, in truth his tone sort of felt like it._

"_You have been acting really weird lately and I just realized this morning that I can't handle much more of your hot and cold attitude." He explained a little calmer._

"_You're hiding something and I want to know what it is?"_

"_Edward." I said trying to stay calm when my nerves were running haywire in my body and brain._

"_Please Bella. Did I do something wrong? Are you not happy anymore?" he looked so hurt and I wanted to explain everything to him._

_Seriously how hard would it be to just tell him about the baby?_

_I guess it was hard._

_I sat in silence trying to work out how to tell him that he was going to be a father. His fingers tapped against the table like those rich bitches that tap their fake nails impatiently and that made me even more nervous._

"_You know what Bella?" Edward stood up and leaned over the table. "I'm giving you the ultimatum. You either tell me what the hell is going on right now or we're done."_

"_Edward." I choked out clutching my heart as it retched painfully in my chest._

_I tried to explain but instead mimicked a fishout of water gaping and gasping for air._

_Edward slammed his hands on the table causing the coffees and myself to jump a little._

"_That's it. I'm through, I should have known this high school romance was bull shit. No one finds their true love in fucking eleventh grade. I should of listened to everyone when they told me I could do so much better than this." He growled grabbing his hair roughly and pulling. "I'll be out of the apartment by tomorrow. Have a great life."_

_I watched as he stormed out of the coffee shop the second he started walking away from me I could feel my heart tearing in two._

_An elderly woman from the table next to me grabbed my arm._

"_Sweetie are you alright?" she asked._

"_I-I do-" I sobbed into her shoulder and she let me._

_After my sobs seemed to be under control I thanked the elderly lady and bought her a new coffee no doubt hers got cold while she comforted me, a complete stranger before going out to my car._

_My hands shook as I called Alice._

"_Hey B? Are you running late or something?" she asked highly perky for it being so early in the morning._

"_Alice." I choked out._

"_Are you okay? Bella?" her voice was full of panic._

"_I'm not okay. Edward left me." I cried gripping the phone and the steering wheel as I sobbed._

"_What?" I could hear the many bangles she always wore to the office jangle as she jumped up._

"_Where are you? I'm coming to get you."_

"_No, I." I took a calming breath and acted extremely irrational. "I'm going to go stay with Charlie for a little while. Do you mind just sending me my work?"_

"_No, Bella you can't leave." She cried._

"_I have to Alice. I just need to. Please. I'll be there for a while so just please?" my sentences made no sense but she agreed._

By the end of my story both Alice's and my plates remained untouched as I sobbed.

"God he's so stupid. I can't believe this." She growled.

"No Alice. It's my fault." I cried.

"Bella, you're so stupid."

"Don't you think I know that? I ruined everything." I grabbed a napkin and blew my nose.

"No, Edward's been half dead since you left. The only time I've seen him was when I had to take Jasper to the hospital for his stupid ulcers. You have to call him." She pulled her phone out and I snatched it from her.

"No, I can't. Alice, he left me." I cried.

"You're not making a lick of sense Bella." She growled. "He needs to know about this baby. If you don't tell him I will."

"You can't." I screamed.

"And why the hell not?" she jumped up. "He's my cousin and he's hurting. So are you. Tell me why I can't tell him?"

"Because you're my best friend." I cried. "I just can't. I don't want him to take him or her from me."

"Bella." Alice pulled me into her tiny arms. "He would never do that to you."

"No he can do so much worse." I sobbed.

"What?"

"He can stay with me just for the baby." I gasped. "He doesn't want me anymore. Can't I just keep my baby?"

"Bella. This baby deserves to know his or her father." She patted my stomach. "You can't do that. It's not right."

I remembered the day my mother remarried. She had invited about five hundred people that neither of us knew. As maid of honor I had to plan the entire thing by myself all while worrying about my school work and the job I held at the local dairy queen. I was the one to make sure the dress alterations were complete before the wedding, the invitations were sent out with room to R.S.V.P. My breaking point was when she informed me that we would be moving across the country so that Phil could try to live his dream of becoming a profesional baseball player. After calling Charlie I packed my bags and said nothing to my mother until the day I was scheduled to board the plane. Casually I had walked into the living room while my seven month pregnant mother sat on the floor doing pregnancy yoga and asked her for a ride to the airport. The rest was a blur of fighting, screaming, crying and begging and that was just Renee. She couldn't beleive that I would leave her like that, alone to raise her baby with Phil. Instead I took a called for a cab and waited on the front steps with everything I owned while she screamed at me for being selfish.

As I neared the airport she had called to tell me that I was univited to her wedding as if I had still planned on attending or something.

I hung up on my mother that day and hadn't talked to her since.

I had to go the rest of high school without my mom. Prom, instead of getting ready with my mother and taking pictures I got ready at Alice's while Mrs. Brandon and Esme fawned over us in our ridiculous dresses. Graduation morning instead of going out to breakfast with my parent's, I woke up to Charlie almost burning the house down in his attempt to make me cinnamon rolls, my favorite breakfast food.

I would tell myself that I didn't need her. Charlie was everything to me but there was always that small part of my mind that wondered what my mom would be doing while I whined at Alice for using too much hairspray on my bun or I cried when she forced me to wear a pair of heels to graduation resulting in me face planting the second I stepped out of the cruiser. I tried to make due with Esme and Alice's mother as stand ins but the truth was even though my mother was a selfish bitch and everything it would of been nice to have her here with me. Hell, I would take a phone call once a month or every other month.

Alice was right.

My baby needed a mother and a father. It didn't matter if we couldn't get along, so long as he or she had both.


	7. I'm trying to make things right

**Chapter Six**

Alice made me promise that I would contact Edward as soon as possible before she left. I tried to convince myself that I would but I think she knew I was lying. How does one tell their ex that they are having their baby? Maybe they have a book: _How to ruin your ex's life with two simple words for dummies._

Perhaps in the book they would have picture diagrams of a text message, a letter one could write to their lost love. Maybe even a frame by frame of a conversation the person would have with the poor soul. Instead of attempting to maintain what little dignity I had left in this town, I sat in front of my computer and googled the fucking topic.

How to tell someone their going to be a daddy?

I gave up after the third story of women cooking baby back ribs, baby carrots and other foods that started with the word baby. There were stories of women hiding the pregnancy test so that their partner would 'accidentally' find it. The last one before I slammed my lap top shut and ran from my room like it was on fire was about a woman using body paint to write something along the lines of; I'm with baby.

Charlie didn't even bother asking me if I was alright as I whipped around the kitchen preparing dinner. Cooking had become a sort of safe harbor for me since I was little. Renee would leave me home alone more often than not so in order to survive I began experimenting with odd items in the fridge. After melting a few bowls and permanently dying the stove black instead of its immaculate white my mother decided to enroll me into a cooking class after school. I couldn't tell if it was for her benifit or mine because she had gotten a call at work when I blew up the microwave and didn't even come home to check on me when the firefighters told her there was hardly any damage to the dilapidated apartment we lived in or myself.

One would think my mother cared, putting me in a class that she knew I would enjoy. Instead it gave her reason to not have to pick me up from junior high and I would be fed before I took the city bus home alone. Thanks to mommy dearest I was one hell of a cook by the time I made it to Forks in high school. Charlie thoroughly enjoyed my cooking skills, making it home from work every night in time for dinner and offering to go grocery shopping with me at the drop of a hat.

Banging around in the kitchen took my mind off of everything going on in my life and if creating an awesome dinner and a simply delicious desert from scratch for Charlie and myself kept me from thinking about the inevitable, then so be it.

While whipping together a chocolate mousse so rich and decadent your teeth hurt just thinking about it my mind wondered to the child nestled in my womb.

What would they look like?

Would they be smart?

What would he or she be when they grew up?

Would I be enough for them?

Would they grow up to resent me for choosing what I thought was best for them?

Would they learn from my mistakes?

A hand coming from my side turned the counter mixer off and grabbed my shoulder but my thoughts were too messed up to bring me out of it.

"Bella?" Charlie asked.

I had to grow up without my father because of my mother's choices. Was I really going to do this to my baby? Was I going to keep him or her away from their father just because I couldn't handle his or her father's resentment just as my mother couldn't handle my father's occupation?

"Bella baby. Your scaring me." Charlie cried as I continued to fight my inner demons.

I was ruining the baby's life before it even had a chance to live, before it was even born. Because I was afraid, my child was going to be without his or her father. Because of me I was a monster. If my child grew to hate me, it would be my fault. All my fault.

"Bella damn it." Charlie shook my shoulders roughly bringing me back to reality.

"The baby is going to hate me. It's all my fault." I sobbed.

"What?" he cried clutching me to his chest.

"I have to tell Edward. Tonight. I have to go. I can't." I cried. "I have to go now."

"Bella you're not going anywhere." Charlie growled holding me back from running to the door. "It's too late and I think you're sick."

"I have to." I sobbed. "You don't understand. My baby is going to hate me like I hated Renee. I can't take them away from him like this."

"I know baby. It's about time you came to your senses but your revelation is scaring the shit out of me. Just calm down and I'll go with you to see him tomorrow." Charlie held me as he talked calmly. "What's one more day baby?"

"Your right. One more day." I sniffed. "I'm going to bed."

"Bella you have to eat dinner." Charlie whispered.

"I'm not hungry. I'll see you in the morning." I croaked.

"Bel-"

"I said I wasn't hungry. I ate a late lunch so just let me be." I silently begged.

He left me alone for the rest of the night. I cried into my pillow until the darkness consumed me. My sleep was full of dreams. In my dreams Edward had never sent me the text to meet him at the coffee shop. We were happy, still in love and still together.

I'm not sure if in my dreams Edward knew about the baby, or if I was even pregnant but I knew that when I woke up it was going to hurt. Possibly worse than I had before I fell asleep. Edward grabbed my hand as we walked down the street in the middle of the day. I spun around asking him what was wrong when put his hand under my chin and leaned down to ki-

"Bella sweetie. It's noon." Charlie's gruff voice brought me out of my dream.

I was right, it hurt worse. A lot worse.

"I figured I would wake you up if you wanted to still go today." He said softly patting my leg.

"Yes." I rasped, my voice dry from sleep. "Just let me get dressed."

"I'll take you on one condition Bells. You have to eat something before we go. I can't allow you to go like this, it's not healthy for you or my grandbaby. I won't sit idly by and watch you hurt yourself or your baby."

As if on cue my stomach growled loudly and baby kicked me in the bladder earning a small yelp from me as I jumped up.

"Alright let me change." I said rushing to the bathroom.

I could hear him chuckling to himself as I slammed the door shut.

After eating a hearty breakfast of leftover dinner from last night and two helpings of mousse Charlie and I got in my car and headed towards Edward.

I could feel my hands shake as we drove down the highway, my entire being was in tuned to Edward, even after all of this time I could feel the familiar pull to him and knew we would find him soon. After all of this time, the first thing I wanted to do was run into his arms and make him tell me that everything would be alright.

We pulled up in front of the small house Edward and I rented together. I hadn't seen it in over a month and a half. It's lawn was completely overgrown, the paint a dirty grey from where it hadn't been pressure washed, something that needed to be done bi weekly in the rainy state. Edward's silver Volvo sat in the driveway haphazardly. Instead of being sparkling clean it was dusty, dirty where it hadn't been washed in a long time. Edward's car was his baby, there were times in highschool where I beleived he loved that thing more than me. It was usually extremely clean and detailed.

"Bella are you okay?" Charlie asked grabbing my hand.

"Yeah, I'm fine."I said softly. "Can you just wait here?"

"Sure, let me know if you need anything." He said pulling out a folder that I didn't know he brought with him. "I figured you would just want me for company for the ride so I brought a few documents I needed to fill out for the station. Take your time."

"Thank you dad." I whispered before opening the door.

I stood up and pulled the dark green sweater down. I chose to go with looser fitting clothes so that it wouldn't be obvious. I didn't want the first thing he saw to be my pregnant belly.

Charlie coughed bringing me out of my thoughts and I closed the door before walking slowly up the driveway. The closer I got to the house the colder it felt. It's once warming welcome was now cold and desolate.

I walked up to the door and noticed the small rock with the hide away key was still sitting where we had agreed to leave it. Beside the over grown shrub that still sat across from the door, it's leaves long dead from not being brought in at night during the cold weather.

I thought about using the hide a key but instead raised my hand and knocked softly before waiting.

After a minute I knocked again just a little louder and waited.

I waited ten minutes knocking louder every other minute before giving up. Feeling defeated I began walking back to my car, shoulders slumped.

I had just made it past the small homemade stepping stones Edward and I had made together when we finally got settled when the door opened and I heard him.

"Bella?" his voice was just the same but I could detect a hint of sadness and longing.

"Edward." I whispered before turning around.

"Is it really you?" he asked.

His hair was longer from where it hadn't been cut. His face covered with a beard and mustache. His eyes were sad, dark circles hung under them like heavy clouds and I could tell he had lost weight.

Perhaps he hurt just as much as I did while we were apart.

"Bella." He sighed walking towards me and pulling me into his arms.

A month and a half, I had been away from him. Ninety seven days I had been without his arms around me. Without his breath on my neck. Without hearing him sigh my name.

I cried as I hugged him tightly keeping my bottom half as far away from him as possible as I cried and sobbed. He wrapped his arms tighter around me and I felt at home.

I had dreamed of finding Edward once again. Of waking up one day and everything being a lie, in which we had never drifted apart due to my carelessness. I lifted my hand to his face attempting to memorize it. For all I knew this could be the very last time I ever got to touch him I wanted to make sure it was worth it. Every last touch, every last caress.

I would hold it all dear to my heart.

"I missed you so much." Edward whispered, his eyes filled with tears.

I couldn't speak.

My brain fought against everything in me, knowing the second I opened my mouth I would ruin it all.

"Bella?" his eyes grew curious.

I decided that if I was going to hurt as much as I was going to when this was over I might as well walk away with as much as I could. I pulled his face to mind and kissed him, silently telling him that I would always love him no matter what.

Baby kicked me as if they knew I was extremely happy yet very sad at the same time.

_This is your daddy baby._ I thought as my tongue forced its way into Edward's mouth.

He tasted just how I remembered, he smelled even better. I allowed my hands to braid into his long locks as we kissed passionately. My heart was breaking as I felt his hands roam my back in an effort to pull me closer to him.

He was about to ruin it.

Everything.

"I love you." He gasped before kissing me again and finally managing to pull me into him fully.

I felt him freeze as he felt my stomach nudge him in the hips.

His mouth stopped moving against mine and he grabbed my hips tenderly, pulling me away from him.

"Bella." He gasped.


	8. Edward's mistake

**Ch 7 EPOV:**

I made a mistake.

I'll be the first to admit that, hell I admitted it the second I got home and found that Bella had left. She had neither packed a bag nor left a note, but I couldn't blame her on the latter. I was rude to her. The love of my life was clearly upset sitting in front of me and I had blown up at her in front of everyone at the coffee shop.

She had been pulling away for the past couple of weeks before I made my mistake. Instead of allowing me to spoon her at night because that was really the only time we were able to be together comfortably during the week while we both worked, she slept hugging a pillow to herself and her back to me. She didn't allow me to touch her anymore and I missed that contact. We had been together since our Junior year of highschool and almost inseperable the second we met.

The doctor in me should have seen the depression. Instead the monster in me blew everything out of proportion and hurt her beyond belief. I knew Bella had insecurities about us. In her eyes she wasn't the beautiful, wonderful ,selfless person I had loved since we met in high school. In her eyes she wasn't worthy of my love or attention. In her eyes I was too good for her but it was the exact opposite.

The monster in me used those insecurities to his own advantage in the coffee shop that day. I was running on twenty four hours of no sleep but I won't use that as an excuse for why I did what I did. The monster felt threatened that maybe she had found someone that wasn't away at work all the time, for someone that actually had time for her. And I myself let the monster have full reign over everything before I returned home that night.

After I left her sobbing in the café I refused to go home. As I left the coffee shop I heard her cry my name and felt my heart break, but the monster refused to bow down. Instead of turnign around and going back to her I ignored her pleading and walked away, not knowing that she ran. I drove to a small park on the corner of town and tried to sleep, but my body refused to relax enough to allow it.

I watched small children running around the park as if they were on sugar highs and their parent's chase after them with wet naps and smiles on their faces.

Instead of wishing that I could take it back and that one day Bella and I would have that, the monster fed me with poison.

_She doesn't want that with you anymore._

_She's pulled away because you weren't good enough for her._

_She's probably found someone that can give her all of that without having to work over seventy two hours a week._

_She obviously wanted someone that actually had time for her._

I tried to argue that the only reason why I worked so hard was to make our lives easier but the moster wouldn't listen.

It continued all day until the sun set and I decided that I needed to head home. It had started to rain so the children and their families were long gone. The only thing I had eaten all day was the small croissant from the café that morning but I wasn't hungry. Lack of sleep had taken over and it was a job in itself just to get to the house without falling asleep behind the wheel.

Pulling into the garage I realized that Bella's car wasn't there. The monster laughed wickedly. I walked into the house and realized that nothing had been removed. All of her jackets were still hung on the coat rack, her tiny shoes lined against the wall right beside mine. The only pair missing was the ones she had on her feet this morning.

Immediately the monster was gone and instead a great amount of guilt washed over me. My thoughts went directly to the worst. Had she been so upset that she wrecked her car while driving to meet Alice? No she had me as her emergency contact I would have been notified. I started panicking as I called Alice hoping that she would know anything.

"What do you want?" she barked into the phone.

"Alice have you talked to Bella?" I asked trying to mask the panic in my voice.

"What the hell do you care for Edward? She called me after not showing up for our meeting asking me to allow her to work from home after you broke up with her." She growled I could hear her mumbling under her breath something along the lines of 'I'm going to murder your ass when I see you'

"Where is she going?" I attempted.

"I'm not telling you. She needs space Edward, you broke her heart." Her words had my heart tearing even more than finding everything still here.

"No Alice, I was the one moving out of the house. None of her stuff is gone."

"Edward." Alice sighed. "You're my cousin but Bella is my best friend, you fucked up. Bella sounded so broken when she called me. I won't tell you where she is because she needs to move on. Leave her alone Edward."

"Alice, I made a mistake." I gasped clutching my heart. I needed Bella like I needed air to breath, and without her it felt like I wouldn't be able to.

_How could I allow myself to treat her that way? Why couldn't I just try to help her instead of treating her the say I did?_

"Edward, a few days ago Bella and I were talking and I asked her if she thought you had any plans on proposing. Do you know what she said?" Alice didn't give me any time to answer before continuing. "I would hope so Alice, we love each other very much. I can't see myself with anyone other than Edward."

My heart twisted violently. Why had I ever thought she would cheat on me? We were meant to be together.

"Alice." I gasped. "Please tell me where she is. I have to make this right."

"I'm sorry Edward." She whispered sympathetically before hanging up.

I dialed Bella's cell phone number and prayed that she would pick up

'_Hi this is Bella, it's pretty obvious that I'm busy either with work, a simple hobby, or Edwar-' her voice cut off and she started giggling 'Edward stop tickling me, I'm recording my voicemail message. Leave a message after the beep and if it's important enough I'll call yah back' _the last bit was yelled as she fought to catch her breath

I looked over at the couch where everything had taken place. Bella had shut her phone and threw it on the coffee table before attacking me. We made love well into the night and Bella forgot all about having that as her voicemail message. Every time somone left a message mentioning it she would ask me to remind her to change it but I never did.

_Beep._

"Bella, it's me. I need you to call me. Please. Even if it's just to tell me that your safe. I love you." I hung up the phone and collapsed on the floor.

The next day I woke up in the same position on the floor and grabbed my phone calling her once again. Only this time I got a no longer in service message from the phone company.

Every day was the same, I would wake up and ttempt to call Bella's cell phone even though she had obviously changed her number. Even though her voice wasn't the one telling me so I still felt connected to her somehow when I dialed her phone number.

I threw myself into work. I worked six days a week of nothing but twelve hour shifts and stayed late or came in early every chance I had to. My coworkers talked about me behind my back because I was getting great praise from Aro the Chief Resident. I could care less what anyone had to say. The only importance was having something to take my mind off of Bella and the fucked up mess I had made of my life.

Two weeks passed. The only person I had talked to was my mother. She knew something was wrong but I refused to explain anything to her. I had hoped that she would bring up Bella, maybe tell me that she had gone to her fathers' house back in Forks. I was dying for any information on her safety. I started to think that maybe my mother knew exactly what was going on but she was team Alice or something.

A month passed. Bella's old phone number was still inactive but it didn't keep me from trying each and every morning as soon as I woke up. On my lunch break at work, I would call. When I got off no matter how long my shift had been, I would call. And each and every time it would be the same thing. The number had been changed.

I hadn't slept in our bed since Bella left, instead I either took to the guest bedroom or the couch in the living room. Every now and then I found myself inhaling deeply on Bella's side of the closet, her side of the bed. Alice refused to answer my calls, instead she would forward them to voicemail or have Jasper pick up and give a lame excuse.

"Alice please I saw the magazine, her name is on the damn second page. I know you saw her or at least talked to her." I had just cornered Alice at her small office during my hour break.

"Edward, I already told you I'm not helping you. I've talked to Bella over the phone I don't know where she is."

"You're lying. I can tell you're lying Alice. Please just tell me where she is. I have to make this right. Please just help me." I begged grabbing onto my little cousins hand and holding it tight.

"No Edward. From what I hear, it will be quite a while before I see her. She refuses my invitations to come visit and refuses to allow me to go see her." Alice cried out. "She's my best friend Edward and I haven't seen her in all this time. I know she needs me and she refuses to let me help her."

"Alic-"

"No Edward just shut up. Please go." She sobbed. "This is all your fault."

"Alice please." I was ready to get on my hands and knees to beg her to help me but she gave me a cold glare and pulled her hand from mine.

"Go Edward or I'll call security."

I stood up and grabbed my cell phone before heading out. I could hear Alice sobbing in her office and her few coworkers glared at me questioningly from their desks. As soon as I got back to the hospital I tried calling Bella's number again but it was no use.

_The number you are dialing has been changed to an unlisted number. If you feel you've be-_

With a frustrated sigh I threw my phone into my locker and slammed it shut before sitting on the bench. I put both hands in my hair and pulled harshly crying out in frustration. If anyone heard me they let me be as I worked through my mental breakdown.

Apparently word spread rather quickly in my workplace. Someone had heard me and it spread like wild fire that I was mentally incompetent. Aro pulled me aside two hours after I had composed myself and been able to get back out onto the floor.

"Edward I need you to take some time off for me buddy." He said clapping me on the back harshly.

"No sir. I am doing just fine. I quite enjoy being able to get all of these hours in while I can." I said trying to walk over to the nurses' station to get my next patient.

"Well, the board has come to me saying that you have put to many hours in, in the past six weeks. You either need to take some time off or I'm going to have to deal with an extremely hefty lawsuit not to mention the fines." He sighed. "You're off the rotations for the next two weeks."

"Sir please." I was ready to get on my hands and knees and beg realizing that there had been a lot of that lately.

If I didn't have work, what was I supposed to do? I would be stuck in that house with nothing but memories.

"I have no choice Edward. You've put in way too many hours and the board sees that as unhealthy." He patted me on the back. "Enjoy your vacation son. See you when you get back. I hope you feel better as well. Our doctor's health and happiness is important. I've been worried about you."

"Thank you sir." I grumbled.

Four days into my forced upon vacation I was woken up by a loud knocking on my door. I tried to ignore it and burrow further into the couch cushion but the knocking only got louder. Frustrated I got up and stomped to the front door throwing it open with a very rude 'what?'

Jasper stood holding a case of beer in my face with a cocked eyebrow. "Peace offering from the Whitlocks?"

"Come on in. Sorry about that, I was sleeping." I explained running a hand thru my bed head.

"Edward you do realize that it's two in the afternoon right?" Jasper chuckled as he sat on the couch where my head was just previously resting.

"Yeah well I don't have anything else to do so I figured I would catch up on my beauty sleep." I joked dryly.

"Huh? You might want to try a little make up because the sleeping thing ain't workin'." He cracked open a beer and handed me an unopened one. "Alice has been acting weird the last few days."

"Is that so?" I asked sipping the cool refreshing beverage.

"Yep. Took me up until an hour and a half ago to get her to tell me what happened." He cocked an eyebrow. "She said you visited her while she was at work."

"Yeah, I went to her work. I should have apologized. I don't know what's going on in my brain right now." I grabbed my hair and pulled harshly.

"Well yeah you need to apologize. I sort of came over here to kick your ass for treating my wife the way you did." Jasper sighed. "But your one of my best friends and I know you're going through some things so I'll let it slide."

Instead of replying I just gave a quick grunt and grabbed another beer.

"Have you heard anything from Alice about her?" I asked casually trying to avoid saying her name.

"I'm not going to gossip with you man." Jasper chuckled. "Fuck it. Alice went up to surprise Bella with a visit. We all know Bella, so I'm sort of afraid I'm going to get a call from Forks' deputy telling me my wife has been arrested for trespassing on the Chiefs lawn."

I sat up abruptly spilling beer down my shirt. "She is with Charlie?"

Jasper's face paled and he muttered 'shit'.

I knew that Bella was in Forks. From the awkward phone calls with my mother and the fact that Bella had left our home without any of her belongings. Even though Charlie hadn't exactly been happy about us leaving home to move in together at such a young age I knew that he would take her in. Truth be told I was surprised that he hadn't shown up at the house or the hospital with his revolver ready to turn me to swiss cheese for hurting his baby girl.

"Yeah dude, she's been at Charlie's. Alice has been emailing her all of her work while she's there. Do me a favor and let Alice come home before you go to Forks. She's been hurting a lot with all of this, like she's being drug to each side. Bella's her best friend and all of this shit going on with the two of you is killing her." Jasper looked me in the eye. "She feels that she has to be loyal to you because your family and for that she feels guilty because Bella's her best friend. She feels that if she is loyal to Bella then she's not there for you and your family if that makes any sense at all. Needless to say she's confused as hell about all of this."

"Oh, damn I didn't even think about how this was affecting her." I cursed softly and sat down my beer. "I have no idea how to make this better with Bella. I need her in my life and I fucked it all up."

"Well you couldn't figure out that you needed her in your life before you flipped the fuck out and ruined everything?" Jasper asked exasperated.

"Jasper I don't need this shit." I stood up. "I know I fucked up I don't need you to tell that, it just makes it worse. I have to fix this and I will figure out how to win her back if it's the last thing I do."

"Right. And how do you plan on doing that?" Jasper asked cooly as he sipped his beer.

"I have no fucking idea." I sighed plopping back down on the couch roughly.

"Well I have to go. One of the guys at work invited me to come over and try out his new pool table and since Ali isn't home, who am I to refuse?" Jasper stood and clapped my back. "Just give Bella some time. Who knows she could come back on her own."

"Just let me know when Alice comes home please."

I walked Jasper to the door and locked it behind him before lying back on the couch and falling asleep once again.

My mother called me at some point of time while I was sleeping, waking me up out of my fitful slumber.

"Edward honey. How are you?" she asked casually.

"I'm fine mom. Just taking a nap." I replied clearing my throat.

"I was just wondering if maybe you would like to come meet me for lunch. I haven't seen you in a little while and your father has learned from Aro that you are on vacation." She started using guilt to sucker me in.

"Sure mom. Let me take a shower and I'll call you to find out where we are going."

"Great. Talk to you soon. Love you honey."

"You too mom."

I took a quick shower and tried to find something clean to wear. I hadn't done anything domestic at all and it showed. There werent any dishes in the sink because I had taken to eating straight out of the cartons of take out and two liters I had lived off of for the past month and a half and dirty clothes were strewn all over the house.

I thought I heard a knock at the door but when I looked out the window there was no one so I continued scoring around for a pair of clean socks. After tracking down a pair of black jeans I only remember wearing twice without washing them, a white shirt with surprisingly no stains or weird odor when I thought I heard the knocking again. Quickly throwing my clothes on, I found a pair of socks and threw my converse one.

I brushed my teeth and headed down stairs calling my mother on the way. We agreed to meet up in twenty minutes so I hurried out the door and realized that someone was walking down the small pathway.

"Bella?" I gasped immediately recognizing her silky brown hair.

"Edward." I heard her say quietly before she turned around and faced me. She looked just the same if not a little healthier. Her face was a little bit rounder and she was completely beautiful despite the sadness underneath it all. I couldn't believe she was here. Jasper was right.

"Is it really you?"

"Bella." I said walking towards her and wrapping her small body in my arms.

I buried my head in her neck and inhaled deeply. No matter how little I entered our bedroom or closet her scent had virtually disappeared but having her now was rejuvenating. I could feel her tiny body shaking with sobs as I held her tighter to me. I felt her hands roam my face and wished I would have taken the time to shave in the shower for her. I kept my eyes closed afraid that if I opened them she would disappear and it would all be a dream.

Finally opening my eyes I stared into her large brown ones and spoke.

"I missed you so much." I whispered holding back the tears brimming in my eyes.

Her mouth opened a few times but she didn't say anything. I could see the war going on in her mind from her facial expressions.

"Bella?"

Instead of saying anything she frowned and pulled my face to hers, kissing me with so much passion I wanted to drop to the ground and cry. I could feel everything I had put her through, all of the pain radiating off of her lips and it killed me. She deepened our kiss and put her hands in my hair as we kissed on the walkway in the middle of the afternoon.

I wanted her closer. Needed her closer. I trailed my hands down her back and pulled her closer to me.

"I love you." I said pulling her even closer as if we could become one.

Bella froze but I put it aside as I lapped her tongue with mine. And then I felt it.

A rock hard bump on her abdomen.

I'm a doctor. I knew exactly what it was.

I pulled away from her grasping her hips tenderly to push her away.

"Bella." I gasped.

"I'm so sorry Edward." She sobbed. "I wanted to tell you but you were so angry. You didn't give me a chance and I was scared. I can understand if you're pissed now. The town thinks I cheated on you, your mom thinks that it's not your-"

"Wait my mom knows about this?"


	9. Can a broken heart be rebroken?

**Ch 8 BPOV:**

"Edward please." I whispered.

"Answer the damn question Bella." Edward barked making me jump back.

His eyes never left the swell of my stomach and it made me extremely uncomfortable. Baby kicked me in the bladder and for a split second I thought that I was going to piss myself but ignored it. I turned a little and rubbed against my little nudger's appendage trying to calm him or her.

"Yes." I answered weakly.

Edward's face turned an odd shade of red. The last time I saw anyone's face turn that color was when Charlie caught Edward with his hand down my pants after the homecoming game in the back of the Volvo, senior year. He ended up having to go to the doctor to get checked out because the tiny vein above his eyebrow kept pulsing two days later.

Edward's face scared me even more than my dad's face all those years ago. It took on this cold exterior that had chills running down my spine and he tore his eyes away from my stomach. Clutching his keys tightly in his fist he walked past me and down the walkway towards his car. Each step he took away from me caused my heart to throb painfully in my chest.

"Edward." I said quietly. "Please don't leave like this."

I saw Charlie get out of the driver's side of my car and greet Edward but he completely ignored him and got in his car, fishtailing it out of the driveway and speeding down the street.

Can a broken heart be rebroken? Even before it's healed, can the broken fragments of an already broken heart possibly be broken even further? How come Aphrodite or Cupid or Eros or whoever the hell you blame your romantic misfortunes on could be so cruel as to put someone whose lost everything right back to square one?

As I watched Edward's shiny silver Volvo disappear out of view, the small pieces of my already broken beyond belief heart throbbed painfully in my chest.

It was true, the second he had left me for the first time the only part of my heart he left was the organ. One of the most important parts of the human body apart from the brain. Sure he left the parts that pumped blood through my body and supported the baby growing in my stomach, made it so that my brain, lungs and other important organs worked enough to get me by. But what about the other part?

"Bella? What the hell was that?" Charlie asked walking up to me and bending down to look me in the eye.

"H-he left." I stuttered.

"Don't worry about it baby doll." He smiled sadly. "Come on let's get home."

"How can I not worry?" I cried. "He just left me again."

"Bella he just found out he's going to be a father in less than four months. Honey that's not something you just up and celebrate about." Charlie explained calmly as he took my arm and ushered me back to the car.

"How can you stick up for him right now?" I snapped pulling away from him.

"Bella." Charlie sighed. "Let's just go get something to eat and calm you down."

"I'm not hungry." My stomach was churning on the inside and I was almost afraid my breakfast was going to be visiting me once again.

"Well I am so you can sit while I eat." Charlie smiled sadly as he ushered me into the car. "I'm proud of you Bella."

"Hm?"

"I'm proud of you for doing that. It took a lot for you too come here and even though you didn't get what you wanted out of it, I'm proud of you." he coughed nervously.

I ignored him.

Baby hadn't moved since the violent assault on my bladder so I rubbed my tummy in a silent thanks for the peace. I couldn't stop the tears from pouring down my face or the throbbing in my chest that had me wanting to scream out.

I had given him a chance. Unlike my mother, I gave Edward the chance to be a part of his baby's life and he threw it all away. How could he kiss me like that and hold me tight and in a second just turn into a cold hearted bastard?

And Charlie. Defending him when he knew that he was the only person I had on my side right now. I needed someone to be here for me. And I had no one.

And now before you go and start blaming me don't bother. I know that I've burnt the few bridges that I did have but I'm started to see the errors of my ways. Trial by error or what have you.

Wallowing in my own self pity I followed Charlie into a casual restaurant. The hostess took one look at my broken form and sat us in a dark corner. Apparently a tear stained puffy whale isn't something that get's the window seat at this fine establishment.

Charlie ordered a club sandwich with fries and gave me a stern look. "Bella if you don't order something and feed my grandbaby I'm taking you to the station and locking you up in a cell until you deliver. It's not healthy."

Reluctantly I ordered a grilled cheese and tomato basil soup knowing all too well that I wouldn't be able to eat it. I sipped my water with lemon and leaned back trying to calm down.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Charlie asked.

"What's there to talk about dad?" I snapped. "He left me after he found out about the baby."

I rested my hand on my stomach. This was the longest baby had gone since I started to feel him or her move without beating the crap out of my insides.

"He obviously doesn't want to be in his or her life and I'm not going to force him. I will be both mommy and daddy to him or herand I will give them the best life I possibly can because that's what single parents do." the water works started up again. But I ignored the looks of pity I was getting from customers dining a few tables away from us.

"I wanted to give him a chance at what mom took away from you so selfishly." Charlie's face fell.

I had never really spoken to him about my mother and the pain I knew she had put him through when she left him so abruptly. I was too young to remember the departure but I could see the haunting look my father had everytime I came for summer or a holiday. No father should ever have to go through that pain.

"Bella." He sighed sitting back against the booth.

"No, I saw the looks that you gave me every time I stepped off the plane. I saw the hurt in your eyes that she had basically cut me out of your life apart from the summers when she didn't want to deal with me. I didn't want to be like her dad." I sobbed. "I wanted to give him the chance that she took from you."

"Here's your food." The waitress cheered as she sat down our plates ignoring the fact that clearly we were having a heart to heart. "Can I get you anything else?"

"No I think we're good here. Thanks' Shelly." Charlie said reading her nametag. "We'll let you know if we need anything else."

She sent a flirtatious smile at my father before skipping off to her next table and I rolled my eyes at Charlie's blush.

"Bella, you're not your mother." Charlie sighed. "I don't want you to ever think what your doing is because of her, or the decisions she made."

"I wanted to give him a chance to know his child dad." I wiped another bout of tears from my cheeks. "He obviously doesn't want it. I'm pissed because no matter what's going on between him and myself, this baby has done nothing to deserve the hate I saw in his face."

"I know honey. Just give him some time." Charlie said before tucking into his sandwich.

After many glares and coaxing from Charlie I managed to eat half of my sandwich and a couple of sips of soup despite my stomach constantly turning. I excused myself and headed for the bathroom fighting back the constant nausea that I had been feeling since I got back in the car.

"You alright Bells? You're looking a little green around the gills." Charlie commented laughing at his own fish humor as I wiggled out of the booth.

"Yeah, I don't think the baby liked my lunch." I breathed. "I'll be right back."

Clutching my purse in one hand and my stomach in the other I rushed to the restroom. The stall was already occupied and I had no other choice but to vomit into the trash can by the sink. Heaving and sputtering I cried as I emptied the contents of my almost empty stomach.

"Are you alright?" A young girl probably no older than seven or eight asked me as the door opened.

"I'm fine sweetie." I gasped trying not to alarm her.

She washed her hands and gave me a sweet sympathetic look as she exited the restroom no doubt going to tell her mother or father about the fat lady puking her guts up in the garbage pail. I silently prayed that no one would come in and investigate as I fought the second round of nausea and my stomach won.

After finally being able to control my stomach I washed my face and hands in cool water and rinsed with some mouthwash, I carried in my purse at all times before heading back to my father. I was halfway back to the table when I heard his voice.

"I can't believe you would keep something like this from me." he growled and my blood ran cold.

_Did he follow us here?_

"Edward she told me the baby wasn't yours. I knew it was a lie but I wanted her to tell you on her own time." A sweet voice calmly explained.

I looked out the corner of my eye and saw Edward sitting with his mother. Esme had a worried look on her face while Edward wore the same hateful expression he had back at the house.

"I'm going to be a father and no one told me anything. Do you know what I've been going through?" He demanded. "I wanted nothing more than to go after her. But Alice kept telling me that I needed to give her time."

"Well, Alice was right honey." Esme reached for his hand but he pulled back harshly. "Bella did need some time; we all thought that maybe she would come around and decide to tell you because it's hers and only her place to give you that information Edward. You broke up with her from what Alice said. You're the one that would have to live with the consequences of your actions."

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed deeply. "I will have to work forever to make up for the mistake I made. I get that. But Bella is pregnant with my baby and was subjected to everything that Forks put her through. Tell me how bad it was for her."

"Edward." Esme sighed.

"I mean it. I want to know." He demanded.

"Well, apart from the rumors that she cheated on you which caused you to kick her out and send her back to Charlies'." Edward and I both gasped, him for the first time of having to hear about my recent issues with the town of forks, me for having to relive it. "Then her car was vandalized while she was at a doctor's appointment. Charlie tried to find the culprit but it was a dead end. I think that it was one of her little friends in highschool. You know the ones that always bothered you two?"

Edward's face paled.

"Then-"

"What do you mean then? There's more?" Edward asked his voice chopping as if he were about to cry.

I couldn't take it anymore. Watching him hurt. I turned away and saw Charlie watching me with concern. I had taken not even five steps when my vision blurred.

My knees grew weak and I knew that if I didn't sit down I was going to faint. Fears passed through my head for my baby.

There was something wrong.

"Dad." I gasped my knees hitting the floor painfully as I doubled over in pain. Baby started kicking again and I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that he or she was okay.

"Bella." Someone said.

I couldn't make out their voice. Male or female. Everything was in tunnel vision, everything sounded as if it were under water.

I opened my mouth to beg for help but my voice was lost, instead I found myself gasping for air as if I were drowning.

The last thing I saw was a pair of faded and worn chucks beside my head and someone grabbed my face before the darkness took over everything I prayed.

_God please let my baby be alright_


	10. Life hanging in the balance

**ch 9 EPOV**

The rage I felt when Bella told me that my mother knew about my child consumed me and before I knew it, I was sitting in the restaurant tapping my fingers impatiently waiting for my mom to arrive. I was constantly battling with the combined want and need to get back to Bella, but I had to find out why my mother would keep something so precious and dear to herself. This wasn't something I could just sit back and take I watned answers.

If I would have known Bella was carrying my child, I am the first to admit I wouldn't have sat idly by waiting for her to come back to me. No, I would be on Charlie's doorstep begging for her to forgive me, that I was wrong and needed her as much as I needed air to breath.

I had so many things to apologize to Bella for. From what she had said the town of Forks had put her through hell and I wanted to know every nitty gritty detail of what happened to her. I was going to make this rightif it was the last thing I did. And my mother was going to tell me everything I wanted to know before I said my peace and went back to find my love.

Come hell or high water I was getting my Bella back. She, myself and our child were going to be a family and I would work long and hard to make her forgive me. I could tell by the way she had kissed me and held me that she had missed me just as much as I missed her, if not more. I had missed so much already and I didn't want to miss anymore time with her whether it be holding her or caring for her.

My stomach hurt every time I thought about her having to wake up alone. Every time she had to go into town to pick up something simple she had to do it alone. Every doctors appointment. I knew the town of Forks, the reason why we left after high school was because the entire town was too old fashioned. They were stuck in the times when you had to be married to live together, that sex before marriage was frowned upon. And that babies out of wedlock were something to be ashamed of.

What had they put her through to cause her to look so completely broken when she came back to me today?

"Edward." My mother greeted as she sat across from me.

She sat her back down asking me how I was today before looking me in the eye and stopping midsentence.

"What's wrong?" she asked taking her gloves off and folding it away with her scarf.

"How long have you known?" I asked, my voice as cold as my heart felt at the moment for my mother.

"Known what?" Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"How long have you known that I was going to be a father?"

I watched as all of the color drained out of my mother's face.

"I don't know what you're talking about Edward." she answered looking everywhere but my face.

"Bella came to the house." I replied.

My mother sat in silence.

"I can't believe you would keep something like this from me." I growled.

"Edward she told me the baby wasn't yours. I knew it was a lie but I wanted her to tell you on her own time." She tried to explain, her voice wavering and her eyes brimming with tears. "It wasn't my place to tell you it was her choice entirely."

"I'm going to be a father and no one told me anything. Do you know what I've been going through?" I demanded. "I wanted nothing more than to go after her. But Alice kept telling me that I needed to give her time."

_Did Alice know about the baby?_

_Has my whole family completely set out to destroy my life? My happiness?_

"Well, Alice was right honey." My mother reached out but I pulled away, I wanted nothing to do with her at this point but I needed my answers. "Bella did need some time; we all thought that maybe she would come around and decide to tell you because it's hers and only her place to give you that information Edward. You broke up with her from what Alice said. You're the one that would have to live with the consequences of your actions."

The consequences of my actions. I would be living with them for a long time.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and breathed deeply. "I will have to work forever to make up for the mistake I made. I get that. But Bella is pregnant with my baby and was subjected to everything that Forks put her through. Tell me how bad it was for her."

"Edward." My mother sighed.

"I mean it. I want to know." I demanded raising my voice at my mother for the first time in my life.

"Well, apart from the rumors that she cheated on you which caused you to kick her out and send her back to Charlies'." I gasped, how could they think of Bella that way? She would have never cheated of me.

"Then her car was vandalized while she was at a doctor's appointment. Charlie tried to find the culprit but it was a dead end. I think that it was one of her little friends in highschool. You know the ones that always bothered you two?" I blanched. They destroyed her car?

"Then-"

"What do you mean then? There's more?" How could a town possibly be that cruel?

"Yes, the Crowely brothers egged Charlie's house while Bella was home alone. Charlie arrested them but they are minors. I think the last I heard was that Jessica sent them to do it."

Jessica Stanley, apparently Crowely now. She tried everything in her power to break Bella and I up after we started dating, it was always something. She even went so far as to try to set Bella up in a compromising position at a party with Mike Newton. Too bad we all knew before Mike did that, he was gay. Her plan failed miserably but it didn't stop her from trying over and over again.

"And you did nothing to help her?" I asked breathing as calmly as I could.

"Edward, she told me that the baby wasn't yours. I figured she wanted me to keep my distance. I am pretty sure she was afraid I would tell you but it wasn't my place." My mother cried. "I'm sorry for keeping it from you. The only thing that would have happened if I told you would be you going back to Bella and you both going into things just for that baby and it's wrong Edward. You took your time and see how it worked out? Bella came back."

And then it hit me.

Bella came back.

And I left.

Again.

I must have made my inner turmoil audible because my mother reached over and grabbed my face. "Edward are you alright?"

"I left her again. She came and I was so pissed off at you that I left without saying a damn thing to her. I have to go." I said in a hurry I pulled out my wallet and left a few bills on the table before rushing out of the restaurant.

Only to stop short as I saw her.

Bella was walking somewhat wobbly I could see Charlie staring at her with a worried expression from the booth in the corner. Her hair was pulled up and I could see perspiration on her back making her shirt stick to her skin and her face was extremely pale.

She opened her mouth and gasped for her father before she crumpled, her knees hit the floor and she curled into herself holding her stomach. I could hear her breathing coming out in small pants as she whimpered and groaned in pain or discomfort all before Charlie could squeeze out of the booth.

Immediately the doctor in me kicked in and I ran to her pushing over a waitress in my haste.

"Bella." Charlie cried as he rushed over.

I kneeled down next to her without touching her because I didn't want to startle her.

I called her name once very calmly to try to calm her down but she was hyperventilating. One of the waiters had already called 9-1-1 and I could hear the sirens but my focus remained on the love of my life whimpering in pain on the floor as she gasped for air.

I gently placed my hands on her face as her eyes rolled in the back of her head.

"BELLA." I yelled lightly tapping her cheeks in an effort to keep her coherent.

I could hear my mom sobbing from one side of the restaurant as Charlie yelled at me to help his baby girl.

I'm a doctor after all. And there wasn't a damn thing I could do for Bella before the ambulance got here but make sure she was breathing and she still had a pulse. I cried as the paramedics made their way into the restaurant and past the throng of nosy ass people watching the show. The quickly had her hooked up to oxygen and an IV before strapping her to a board and hauling her away to the nearest hospital.

My hospital.

They refused to allow me into the ambulance.

"But I'm a doctor at Seattle." I fought.

"That doesn't matter. There's nothing you can do for her that we can't already do, so you will just take up space." Nahuel one of the paramedics explained. "Now we have to go now."

"But that's my baby." I cried.

Nahuel opened his mouth again but Charlie cut him off.

"Don't worry son. Just get my baby to the hospital and take care of her. I'll be right behind the ambulance. Edward you can ride with me." he took my arm and roughly dragged me to the car.

"Charlie I can help her." I sobbed.

"No, stop it." Charlie yelled. "Get your ass in the car so that we can get there. Your crying won't help us get there."

I got in the passenger side of Bella's prius and was assaulted by her scent. The ambulance drove quickly the entire drive, the sirens, the lights they all mocked me, as if they could sense my desperation to be with her.

Guilt struck me two miles from the hospital.

Stress was bad for both the fetus and the mother. Bella could miscarry and it would be my entire fault. If I wasn't such a dick to her she wouldn't have ran. The people of Forks wouldn't have been such assholes to her. She wouldn't have been so stressed out.

It was all my fault.

"No it's not son." Charlie said softly as he turned quickly to keep up with the ambulance.

"Yes it is. I didn't give her the time she needed to tell me about the baby. If I would have, we wouldn't have been in this predicament." I cried.

"Bella is the one that decided to leave Seattle and go to Forks. Yes your part of the blame. But whatever happens to my grandbaby today is what's supposed to happen. You need to realize that there is no going back. Mistakes are made because they are meant to be made. The world isn't perfect and neither are you or my daughter. Now stop acting like this and pray to god everything is going to be okay with the both of them."

It's the most Charlie has ever spoken to me. If his daughter wasn't in the ambulance in front of me and for all I know fighting for both her and the baby's lives I would have been grateful. I would have felt worthy. Instead I kept my focus on the Hospital building we were pulling up to and before Charlie could put the car in park I was out the door and running inside.

Aro was at the nurses' station.

"Edward how are yah my boy?" he asked cheerfully.

I rambled everything to him and begged him to let me see Bella but he couldn't pull any strings. Bella was taken up to Labor and Delivery due to the fact that she was so far along, her condition called for specialists.

Charlie and I sat together in the waiting room and my mother showed up twenty minutes later extremely distraught with an equally distraught Alice in her quake. I thought for a second she was going to slap me but instead she put her arms around me and sobbed into my neck.

"Is she going to be okay? She has to be okay?" she rambled.

"I don't know." I cried.

Four hours later a doctor finally came out to speak with immediate family. Charlie was taken into the hallway by the doctor so that they could explain everything and after he told me he would be right back to fill me in, I sat impatiently beside my mother.

"I'll never forgive myself is something happens to either of them." I said.

"Stop it Edward. Everything will be fine." Alice said calmly. "It has to be. It's Bella we're talking about."

I watched through the glass of the window as the doctor explained to Charlie what was going on. His face fell for a second and my stomach dropped. The doctor clapped him on the back and gave him a sad smile before walking down the hallway.

I was gripping the arm rests of the chair so hard I'm sure my short nails were going to leave marks. Charlie's head hung before he took a calming breath and walked back into the waiting room. Alice, my mother and I were all three on the edges of our seats as he came back in.

"She's going to be tired for a little while." Charlie breathed. "The doctors have put her on partial bed rest for the rest of her pregnancy."

"So the baby is okay?" I asked standing up.

"It's fine. A little stressed out so Bella's going to need to take it extremely easy for the next few months. That means no fighting, or working." He turned to Alice. "Sorry tater tot. That means no editing for your magazine."

"Are you kidding me?" Alice stood up and wrapped her tiny frame around Charlie. "So long as she is okay who gives a shit about the magazine. We have back up articles anyways."

"Edward I'm going to visit with her for a little bit. They are only allowing one visitor at a time so I'll come get you when she wants to see you." Charlie squeezed my shoulder before walking out of the room.

_If she wants to see me._


	11. Are you really going to be here for me?

**Ch 10 BPOV:**

When I woke up I knew I wasn't home. The bed was scratchy and did nothing to support the extra weight I carried on my abdomen. The smell burned my already sensitive nostrils despite the air hose attached to it and my throat ached from the chilly air.

I was in the hospital... again.

"Bella." Someone said as they grabbed my hand.

I hadn't opened my eyes yet for fear that the fluorescents would no doubt burn like hell. From the callused and worked fingers I could tell it was my dad.

"Yeah daddy?"

"Oh, I thought you were still asleep." He chuckled.

"No I don't want the lights to give me a headache that's all." I explained. "Why don't you turn off some of them?"

His hand immediately left mine and I heard the light switch before opening my eyes. He looked extremely worried yet relieved all at the same time. I felt baby moving around happily in my stomach.

"Is everything okay? What happened?" I started rambling off question after question until Charlie put his hand over my mouth and shushed me.

"The doctor will be in shortly to explain everything to you." He said calmly. "You scared the hell out of me today Bella. That's the second time in the past couple of months, and that's two too many for a lifetime."

"I'm sorry dad." I said bashfully.

"I'm just glad your okay. You gave everyone a scare. Edward, Esme and Alice are all out in the waiting room waiting to see you."

As soon as my dad said his name the heart monitor on my right started beeping faster.

_He came for me?_

A selfish part of me wondered if he was here to just learn of the health of our baby or the both of us. Did he still love me after everything or had I turned into merely a temporary vessel to house his unborn child. When I had given birth would he loose all feelings for me?

"I want to talk to the doctor before I see anyone. This baby's health is the most important thing to me right now and I don't want to see anyone walk through that door unless they are a doctor." I rubbed a part of my stomach that wasn't covered with the bulky fetal monitor.

"Well technically Edward is a doctor." Charlie joked but didn't laugh when he saw my glare. "Sorry, I told him I would come get him when you were ready. He almost punched out the paramedics because they wouldn't let him in the ambulance."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yep, he tried pulling the doctor card but the kid wouldn't budge. Then he pulled the daddy card and that's when I pulled him away from the ambulance and threw him into the car." Charlie chuckled.

_He pulled the daddy card._

_He's accepted his baby?_

_But what about me?_

"Why are you crying Bell?" Charlie stood up and handed me a scratchy paper towel to wipe my face.

"I'm just really, really happy right now. Sort of emotional that's all. Hormones and what not." I lied giggling a little.

The doctor chose to come in and I was sort of wishing it would have been Edward.

The terms that the doctor used for what had happened scared me. He started talking about possible placental abruption and preclamcia when I stopped him.

"Can you dumb it down? The baby's dad is a doctor not me. I have no idea what you're saying." I asked.

He dumbed it down. Even went so far as to use his hands in a manner that showed he was frustrated with me.

All of the stress I had put myself under for the past couple of months caused me to go into early labor. I wasn't far enough along and if I had delivered, the baby most likely wouldn't have survived. They were able to give me an IV of some sort of medication to stop the contractions and my water hadn't broken so we were safe on the amniotic fluids.

I was put on partial bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy. No unnecessary trips up the stairs, no going for walks. The only time I should be on my feet was if I had to use the bathroom, get something to eat or drink for most of the day. I was going to be judging my body and learning it's limits. The doctor watched my face fall at the restrictions I would face for the next month.

"Of course if you want though, grocery stores, malls they have motorized scooters so if you have to get out make sure you accrue one of those." He smiled. "I know this sounds rough but it's keeping your baby safe and healthy until it's a safe time to deliver."

"I don't care if I have to hang upside down for the next four months to keep the baby in." I said. "As long as my baby is healthy that's all that matters to me."

The doctor told me that they were keeping me over night to watch for contractions. I had asked Charlie to let me rest for an hour or so before he went to get everyone. I needed to get a hold of myself yes but more than that I was extremely exhausted. I felt like I could sleep for days but I felt bad leaving everyone out in the waiting room for me so I settled on an hour.

"Why don't you just tell them to go get something to eat and come back in an hour?" I asked.

"Alright. I'm going to head down to the cafeteria and get some coffee. Do you want anything?" he patted my leg.

"Hot tea or hot chocolate." I sighed.

True to his word Charlie woke me up after one hour. I wasn't completely refreshed but the power nap had defiantly boosted my mood. Charlie had picked me up a toothbrush and a couple of necessities from the gift shop so I allowed him to help me sit up so I could brush my teeth and comb my hair.

My arms were weak from fainting so my movements were slow. Charlie took it upon himself to take the comb from me and pull it through my tangled hair.

"I never got to do this for you when you were little." He said sadly. "When I had finally convinced your mom to send you to Forks for Summer Holiday you were already cooking and fending for yourself so you didn't even need me."

"I always need you daddy." I grabbed his hand and put it on my stomach where baby was kicking up a storm. "We will always need you."

With minty breath and freshly combed hair I sent my dad out to get my visitors. I wanted to see Edward so badly my hands shook with nerves. Even if he was only here for the baby I could handle that. I could pretend he was really worried about me and the baby. That he loved the both of us.

_I sound psychotic at this point but I could care less._

When the door opened and Esme and Alice rushed in, to say I was disappointed was the understatement of the century. I tried not to let my feelings show as Alice hugged me tightly and sat on the edge of my bed while Esme stood in the doorway awkwardly.

"Esme." I said holding my hand out to her.

Her eyes filled with tears as she walked over and took my hand. "I'm so glad your okay Bella. I'm so sorry for all of this." I held my hand up to silence her.

"It's fine. I heard everything you said at the restaurant before I took my spill. I want to thank you for keeping my secret."

Esme hugged me gently from the side before pulling away and looking at me. "You're probably wondering where my son is?"

"Well no, not really." I blushed.

"Stop lying Bella." Alice laughed.

"Alice stop pestering Bella." Esme scolded. "He ran home to get you a few things so you'd be more comfortable."

I shot her a confused smile and she continued.

"He pulled some strings and found out that you would be staying overnight. He knows how much you hate hospitals so he ran home to get some things to make you comfortable for the night." Esme smiled.

Alice was able to keep conversation flowing for the next half hour. She told me that the magazine doubled in subscriptions. She also told me that she had hired a junior editor that was working out perfectly. Leah would take over my job until I was stress free and able to do things on my own.

"I think she's a lesbo to tell you the truth." Alice laughed. "She saw the ring on my finger and asked me a few questions and it's not that she's not smokin hot but I'm happily married."

"Are you saying in the book of Ali she's do-worthy?" I laughed. Alice was quite a character. After we had gotten drunk a couple of years ago alone in her and Jasper's house she admited that she was drawn into the opposite sex but loved Jasper too much to do anything about it. I comforted her and the next thing I knew her hand was on my boob and she was trying to kiss me. Let's just say it was extremely uncomfortable for two point five seconds before we agreed to never speak of the incident again.

Instead I decided to make a joke of Alice's open partial bisexuality and she took it all like a champ.

I could already tell that bed rest was going to be hell for me. My legs kept getting crampy and my back was already hurting and it was just day one. I tried to cross my legs to get more comfortable and ended up crying out as pains shot up from my knees to my thighs.

"WHAT?" all three of my visitors screamed jumping up and rushing to me.

"My knees hurt so bad." I cried pulling the blanket off of my legs and gasping.

Both of my knees were swollen. They were black and purple and painful just to look at let alone move them. They looked like someone had deliberately taken a baseball bat and went to town on my knee caps 'godfather style'.

"When you collapsed you hit the floor pretty hard baby doll." Charlie explained. "The doctors just said they are severely bruised and it's a good thing you're already on bed rest because walking around isn't going to be something you're going to feel like doing for the next couple of days."

"Yeah." I sighed laying back.

There was a small knock on the door and everyone froze. Charlie stood up and opened the door revealing an almost scared Edward.

"Hey no one was in the waiting room. I didn't know if it was okay to come back or not. If not I will just leave this stuff here and go." He stuttered staring down at the two giant duffle bags he had with him.

Charlie turned and gave me a questioning look.

"Come on in Edward." I smiled, elated at the fact that I could say his name and not feel the searing hot pain in my chest.

He raised his head and smiled back at me before pushing past my father and dropping the bags before pulling me into his arms gently.

"I'm so glad the both of you are alright." he sobbed.

"Yep, we're fine." I cried holding onto him for dear life.

Charlie cleared his throat. "Esme, Alice would you two mind accompanying an old man downstairs for a breather? I'm getting lightheaded from the ammonia." He asked bashfully.

"Of course." Alice said taking one arm while Esme gave Edward and me a sad smile before grabbing the other.

The door shut softly but we didn't move. Edward continued to cry into the crook of my neck while I cried into his. The baby did tired somersaults in my belly causing me to laugh and Edward to pull away.

"What is it?" he asked.

Instead of answering him I grabbed both of his hands in mine and placed them strategically on my stomach. Immediately baby started kicking at us from the inside.

"That's amazing." Edward said quietly his eyes red from crying. "Did yo-, did you find out the sex yet?"

"No, I decided that I wanted it to be a surprise." I answered shyly. "I bought gender neutral stuff for him or her though."

"I read your file." Edward said. "I'm sorry you're on bed rest."

"Why are you sorry? I get to lay around for the next four months and be the preverbal oven while this kid cooks." I laughed pointing down to my stomach with my free hand. "I get to have Charlie wait on me hand and foot and he can't gripe because I'm doing my job."

Edward's face fell for a split second but he recovered quickly and I let it go.

"So what's in the bags?" I asked curiously.

"Oh." Edward reluctantly removed his hands from my stomach and hopped off the bed. "I figured you would need some things."

He put both bags on the foot of the bed and made a show of unzipping them slowly as not to ruin the surprise. It was so easy to fall back into the way things were but I knew in the back of my mind we would have to talk about what had transpired, there might be some forgiving but what had happened would never be forgotten.

He brought me my fuzzy slippers, my favorite pillow, a couple of cd's and a small stereo. The best gift of all though was the down mattress pad. All things that I had left behind when I went to Forks. All the things that I missed dearly.

"I already checked with your doctor and he said that it would be fine if you had this. So once Charlie gets back we'll put it on for you. I brought sheets too because I know those can be pretty uncomfortable." He said setting the pad on the chair next to the bed and grabbing my hand.

"How are you feeling?"

"Happy, really happy." I said giving his hand a tight squeeze. "And sort of hungry."

"Oh I took care of that too." He jumped off the bed again and unzipped the side of one of the duffle bags producing a bag of burger king. "Two whopper juniors a small side of onion rings extra zesty sauce." He smiled.

"Oh thank you Edward." I smiled taking the bag from him and pulling out the onion rings and sauce.

"What are you doing? You always eat your burgers first then the onion rings?" he asked.

"When I got pregnant I decided to become a vegetarian." I smiled.

"Oh." Edward's face fell.

"It's alright Edward you couldn't have known."

He turned away from me and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Of course I couldn't have known. It's all my fault. How am I supposed to take care of you when you get released? The house is full of meat. That's all I know how to cook Ugh. Stupid, stupid, stupid."

"Edward." I said sadly pulling him out of his self induced pity party.

"Yes." He turned.

"I'm not going home with you."


	12. I wont go home without you

Chapter eleven of the new story:

"I'm not going home with you Edward." The words echoed in my head possibly a hundred times before a strangled cry came from my mouth.

"Bella, please." I begged sitting on the floor and resting my head on her lap mostly against her stomach. I could feel the baby kicking my head but nothing would put a smile on my face at this moment.

"No Edward." She said softly. "I know you're sorry, I'm sorry as well but this isn't something that can be fixed over night. My doctor put me on bed rest because I am too stressed out and I don't think just moving home after everything that happened would be good for the baby or me."

"Bella." I cried.

I had been without her for too long. Now that I had her back I needed her close. If she stayed in Forks she would be hours away. I wouldn't get to see her everyday just because of the commute. I wouldn't be able to show her that I had changed, that I was willing to do anything to show her that I would never take her for granted again. She had my heart and sould and I just hoped that she would trust me one day to have hers.

"Edward, you're not going to change my mind on this. This baby's health is the most important thing to me right now and I need to be somewhere I can relax, Charlie will take care of me as best as he can and you can come visit on the weekends." Her voice broke at the end of the sentence and she ran her hand through my hair softly.

For a second it felt like she was just as upset about me not being there as I was.

"I need you baby. I need to be as close as I can have you." I sobbed.

"I know Edward, but I'm telling you that it wouldn't be good for either of us if I just moved back home. Once I get out of here, we need to sit down and talk about everything. It's not something that can be forgotten. We've both forgiven each other but forgetting will never happen. I don't want either of us to end up resenting each other for it, so once everything gets settled down we can talk about it."

I knew she was being logical but I had already been away from her when she needed me, and now I felt as if she needed me more than ever. I couldn't allow her to go to Forks and only visit on my days off.

"What if I came to Forks?" I asked.

Bella's hand tightened in my hair and her breathing hitched. "Edward."

"No, just listen for a second." I sat up so that I could look at her face. "I could stay with my parents and ask for a temporary transfer until you're ready to come back with me. I'm sure that Aro and my dad could pull some strings and get me in at Forks General."

"Edward I can't ask you to do that." Bella said softly.

"You're not asking, I'm offering. Baby I can't be away from you anymore." I gently placed my hand on her stomach. "I can't miss anymore of this."

Bella looked at me sincerely. "I'm so sorry for not telling you." She placed her head in her hands and sobbed. "I don't know what I was thinking. It's all my fault." She cried.

"No baby." I pulled her into my arms and cried with her. "It was my fault. Everything. You need to calm down though, remember no stress." I cooed as she continued to sob.

I rocked her in my arms for a little while until she calmed down but even then I didn't let go of her. I wanted her as close as I could have her for as long as I could. After a couple of minutes she began to get uncomfortable and asked me to help her to the bathroom, her knees were badly banged up from her fall back at the restaurant and she cried out a little with every step she took.

I couldn't handle hearing her cry out so I had her grab onto the IV bag and pulled her into my arms.

"Edward I'm too heavy." She protested weakly, tears of pain pouring down her face.

"You weigh nothing baby." I kissed her wet cheek. "It's fine."

I sat her next to the toilet and helped her get situated. Bella and I had lived together for years and had grown more than comfortable with each other, so waiting in the bathroom while she peed was nothing. After she was finished I helped her stand up and wash her hands. Her gown fell around her bare back and I saw the small stretch marks that adorned the sides of her bulge.

Without thinking I reached out and touched her bare stomach gently causing her to jump a little. I gave her a pleading look, silently begging her to let me have a moment.

"Your hands are cold that's all." She said grabbing my hands and placing them haphazardly on her stomach.

Immediately I could feel the baby kicking, it was almost like popcorn. I had felt the baby kick through her shirt but now with nothing in between us except for Bella's skin I felt the force of my child. He or she was real and they were strong. I closed my eyes and pictured a little girl that looked just like Bella down to the small button nose and big brown eyes.

"The baby's strong." I whispered.

"Oh yeah." Bella giggled. "I live in fear for my ribs and vertebrate every day."

I knelt down and pulled her gown up over her bulge, she had stretch marks all across the bottom of her stomach and one just above her belly button. I placed kisses all around her belly and chuckled softly when I felt the baby kicking against my lips.

"Hi baby." I whispered. "I'm your dad."

Bella gasped.

"And I love you and your mom more than anything." I kissed the stretch mark right above her belly button and stood up before kissing her lips. "It's true."

"Edward, I don't want you to get your hopes up." She sighed and my heart fell into my stomach. "No, I don't want you to get your hopes up that your father can pull those strings, what if you can't get the transfer?"

"I'll make it work. I'm tired of staying away from you." I said with determination. "Now let's get you back in bed, you're not supposed to be on your feet."

Bella allowed me to pick her up and carry her back to bed. Instead of setting her on the bed I set her on the chair and quickly put the mattress pad and sheets I brought from home onto the hospital bed. I was changing the pillow cases when someone knocked on the door.

"Come in." Bella called looking up from the CD's she was going through.

"Are we allowed back in now?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah." Bella giggled.

Charlie, Alice and my mother filed in holding a bag from the star bucks down the street from the hospital. After getting Bella settled back in bed, my mom handed her the bag and she pulled out a giant carrot cake muffin.

"Thanks Esme." She smiled.

"You're welcome honey, your dad told me about your becoming vegetarian so I figured why not go all the way, carrot's are vegetables, and you can never go wrong with cake." My mother joked.

Bella giggled before digging into the muffin. My smile faded at the fact that she was famished, all because of me. I hadn't been there to know she had made that decision, the look on her face when she opened the bag of lunch I had brought for her said it all.

"Stop it Edward." She said with her mouth full.

"Stop what?" I asked leaning down and wiping the crumbs off of her mouth.

"Stop looking at me with guilt. Please." She begged grabbing my hand, before I could remove it and kissing my palm softly.

"I'm sorry." I kissed her forehead. "I have to go talk to Aro and make a few calls so I'll be back in a little while. If you want or need anything don't hesitate to call."

"Alright." She said hopefully.

"I'll stay the night here." I told Charlie before looking back at Bella questioningly. "If that's alright with you? Charlie can stay in the guest room at the house."

"That sounds wonderful but no one has to stay here with me. I'm an adult." Bella blushed.

"An adult that hates hospitals Bell." Charlie chuckled. "That would be nice Edward. Don't worry about Bella we'll be here until you get back."

I kissed Bella one more time before rushing out of the room and down the hall. I could feel the pull and pain in my chest as I walked further away from her hospital room. I wanted nothing more than to rush back to her but things needed to be done. Aro's office was on the second floor so I rushed down the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator. Walking up to his door I took a deep breath and knocked.

"Come in." he called.

I opened the door to find him tiredly filling out paperwork.

"Edward. How's Bella? And the baby?" he asked standing up and shaking my hand.

"They are perfect." I sat down across from him. "Bella's been put on bed rest for possibly the rest of her pregnancy so I wanted to come talk to you about possibly getting a temporary transfer to Forks hospital."

"That sounds very unfortunate. Everyone here knows how stubborn your Bella can be. I'm sure her being on bed rest will be hard on her." Aro said compassionately.

"Yes, but she's willing to do anything for the safety of the baby. She wants to stay with her father for a little while, just while we figure some things out and I don't want to miss any more time with them." I explained hopefully.

"Well I can imagine. I know you two have a lot of issues to work out and I'm not one to get into your business. Let me call your father and see if we can fit you in somewhere over there. It won't be many hours but you'll be working some I assure you. I'll be sorry to see you go even if it's for only a little while Edward." Aro said sadly. "You're one of our best, and most dedicated doctors here."

"Thank you sir. If you don't mind I would like to call my father first and see if it would be alright with him." I offered.

"Yes, tell him to call me with details and we'll get the paperwork started. I understand that Bella is getting released tomorrow so you'll want everything done so you can follow her correct?"

"Yes sir."

I shook his hand once again before excusing myself and heading for the elevator. I was planning on running home quickly to get a few things for myself and picking up something nutritious for Bella to eat for dinner. On the way home I dialed my father's number and waited for him to pick up.

"Hello son." My father greeted.

"Hi dad."

"How's Bella? Your mother hasn't called and she turned her phone off so I imagine she's still with you." He asked.

"She and the baby are fine. Mom's sitting with her Charlie and Alice right now. I was calling to ask a favor of you though." I said.

"What can I do?" he asked.

"Bella wants to stay in Forks for a little while until we can talk about everything. She has to stay stress free and she thinksif we move back in together immediately it would hinder that. I have already talked to Aro and he told me that I just had to get you to okay it, but I'm going to temporarily transfer to Forks." I explained.

"That's wonderful son. I finally get to see what all that money spent on your tuition put to good use. Get to see you in action." He joked.

"Well I haven't talked to mom yet but do you think it would be alright if I stayed with you guys while I'm there?" I asked awkwardly.

"Of course, your mother would love to have you home and you know that." He chuckled. "It's the getting to leave when you're through part that is going to be a problem."

"Thank you. Aro said to call him when you have everything worked out on your part. Bella get's released tomorrow so if it's possible I'd like to sign the transfer papers before then so that I can just follow her back to Forks." I explained.

"Alright, let me see what I can do. Fork's is a little slower than Seattle so there won't be as many hours as your used to putting in but I'm pretty sure we could squeeze you in a couple of days a week. I can imagine you'd want more lenient hours so that you can be with Bella anyways." He chuckled.

"Well yeah. Just call me when everything is settled. I'm running home to grab a few things and pick up dinner for Bella." I told him about the whole vegetarian fiasco and he chuckled.

"I'll talk to you in a little while dad." I said pulling into the driveway and hopping out of the car.

"You too son." He said. "And Edward."

"Yeah dad?" I asked.

"Congratulations son. A baby is a wonderful miracle and fatherhood is extremely rewarding."

"Thanks dad or should I say grandpa?" I joked.

After hanging up I ran up the stairs and packed an overnight bag before heading out to pick up a greek salad for Bella and myself and rushing back to the hospital. Opening the door to her room I found her resting against her pillows tiredly talking to everyone. When she saw me enter she sat up and smiled widely and reached out for me to take her hand.

"Hi." She said.

"Hi baby. I brought you dinner." I said handing her the bag. "One of those is for me though."

Everyone hugged us goodbye before leaving. I gave Charlie the house key and told him where he could find everything pulling him aside and apologizing about the mess the house was in. He chuckled and told me it was fine before kissing Bella goodbye and heading to the house.

"So how did your talk with Aro go?" Bella asked with her mouth full and dressing dribbling down her chin.

I chuckled as I wiped it away with my finger.

"Well." I said sadly and her face fell. "He said he was going to miss me but he would make the calls."

Bella's face lit up and she slapped me. "That's not funny Edward."


	13. Seven days

Chapter twelve of the new story.

The doctors lied.

At three am that night I woke up with the same pains I had at the restaurant. Screaming bloody murder I had every nurse on the maternity floor that wasn't currently swaddling a newborn or elbow deep in birthing a baby were in my room in a split second. Edward was clearly freaking out as I cried out for them to save my baby.

The doctors had to sedate me and the only thing I remember was waking up to being informed that I would spend the next seven day's under observation. My body was trying to go into labor and they were going to do anything in their power to stop it. I sort of felt that the baby was like a peircing and my body was rejecting it but I refused to let it win. This baby was so important to me.

Seven days of sitting in the boring hospital bed in fear that my body was going to reject my baby. Seven days of fearing that my baby wasn't going to see the wonderful things that the world has to offer. Seven days of living in fear that my body wasn't good enough to play host to the small fetus inside me.

I spent seven days crying when no one was looking, wallowing in self doubt.

Edward spent seven days doing anything he could to try to cheer me up. I owned one of each thing they sold in the gift shop including a get well balloon that started to shrivel up and lower towards the floor the same night that he brought it up. I found a large majority of my days staring at the get well balloon.

Every day it seemed to drop a few more inches to the ground and I prayed that the balloon wasn't a symbolic representation of my health or the baby's.

I hadn't had any more complications after that night but the doctors insisted on me staying for tests and other procedures. Dr. Gerandy had called a few times to check on me and I knew that the doctors were sending her the results of all my tests.

After two days Charlie came to say goodbye, he had to go back to Forks for work. The look on his face told me that something was wrong but he tried to cover it. He kissed me goodbye and triedto insist that he come back when I got released so that he could drive me home but I told him that I would be fine riding with Edward.

Granted we still hadn't had our important conversation and I was in no shape both physically and mentally to battle that just yet, I figured that the alone time outside of the hospital would do us some good.

Edward shared a moment with my dad just before he left and I waited five minutes after the door slammed shut before I interrogated Edward. I asked him what was wrong with Charlie and he told me that I shouldn't be bothered with trivial things. I pestered him and then resulted to my tears knowing full well that a few alligator tears would get me exactly what I wanted.

"Your dad called your mom to let her know what was going on with you and it didn't go well that's all." He had explained calmly while rubbing my feet.

"What do you mean it didn't go over well?" I had asked him trying to pull my foot out of his grasp.

"It's fine Bella. Lay back and let me massage your legs." He tried to gently push me back towards the pillows.

"No Edward, please." I begged.

"Fine.' He breathed calmly before kissing my forehead. "I'm just afraid it will hurt you." He whispered.

"Edward she hasn't contacted me since I was in high school, I don't even know if I have a little brother or sister. Whatever you have to tell me, can't hurt me more than that." I pushed.

"I love you." He kissed my lips before pulling away and staring into my eyes. "He called to let her know that you might of l-lost the baby. Phil picked up the phone and when he told Renee that it was Charlie and that there was something wrong with you, she told him she was too busy with Cody. You have a brother and his name is Cody. Charlie was upset that she was too busy with her other family to worry about you and your health.

Are you alright?" he asked staring at me intently.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said softly. "I guess I can say that I'm not surprised really."

"Charlie told me when I met him downstairs that he hoped that we learned from this, that our baby would never have to go through what Renee has put you through." Edward said gently caressing my stomach.

We made a promise that night that the baby would only ever know love. That our baby would never go a day without knowing that we loved him or her with everything in us.

That night I asked Edward to lay with me on my hospital bed and he complied. My body relaxed as his arms wrapped around me rubbing soothing circles on my belly until he fell asleep. I laid awake that night silently sobbing at the fact that he was here, with me and I could have avoided all of this if I had just told him about the baby.

Edward woke up every morning and didn't question the fact that I had my hands wrapped tightly in his shirt or that my legs were tangled with his. It was a security thing. I feared that he would leave me while I was sleeping having decided that it wasn't worth his time. It was my way of keeping him here with me as selfish as that was.

The day before I was discharged the doctors asked me to walk around for a little while to make sure that a small bit of activity wouldn't trigger the contractions again. Being on the maternity ward everything was baby related. We got to see them weighing a newborn and swaddling it in baby blue, a new mother and father taking a poloroid picture with their baby before hanging it up on a wall of pictures before they were discharged and a woman being wheeled into labor and delivery. Edward smiled widely and held my hand in his as we walked no doubt thinking about our baby and how it would be when he or she came into the world.

My fears of the health of the baby dissipated quickly when I woke up bright and early on day seven to Edward and the nurses getting my things together.

"What's going on?" I asked sitting up.

"You're getting released today." Edward replied handing me a cup of water and my toothbrush while he grabbed my robe.

This was our morning routine, I refused to move no matter how badly I had to pee until I brushed my teeth because in the bathroom I could only do that, use the bathroom. I would brush my teeth and Edward would help me to the bathroom, after washing my hands, I would be led back to the bed where the remainder of my day would be spent.

But not today.

Today I was going home.

I brushed my teeth quickly and almost floated to the bathroom if Edward wasn't holding my arm for support.

"I brought you some clothes to wear home." Edward said helping me up from the commode. "I'm sure you would like to take a quick shower."

"Hell yes." I sighed. I had spent my days sitting in bed feeling grimy. No matter how much I begged the doctors only allowed sponge baths. As much as Edward seemed to enjoy them, I still didn't feel clean afterwards. Something about water free shampoo irked me to no end.

"They said you would need help. You're still weak." He explained bashfully.

"Well yeah." I laughed humorlessly. "It's not like you would want to see me naked anyways."I mumbled.

"You're ridiculous." Edward said grabbing my face in his hands and kissing my lips.

"I've changed Edward." I sighed pulling away. "My body is accommodating an extra person right now. I feel as big as a house and I still have four months to go."

"And you haven't looked more beautiful in my eyes." He said softly. "Now stop worrying about ridiculous things and let's get you clean."

Before I could protest and ask for a nurse to come help me, instead I was quickly stripped down and placed in the small shower stall where he scrubbed my body with my favorite body wash and a scratchy hospital wash cloth. I kept my eyes closed so that I didn't have to see his face when he took in my pale and swollen body. Add in the water and the fact that I hadn't been outside or clean in a week and I could picture his expression of disgust.

"There you go." He said turning the water off and wrapping me in a towel. "I'll be right back to dry you off, I'm just going to get your clothes I brought for you."

"Alright." I said in a small voice.

"Bella." Edward breathed. "Stop it."

"Stop what?" I asked looking up and meeting his stare.

"Stop with the self consciousness." He kissed my cheek. "Please."

"How can I stop Edward?" I snapped.

"Easy. You just believe me when I tell you that you're beautiful." He shrugged it off.

"Why? So you can throw it back at me that I'm not good enough?"

"Bella you're confusing me. I thought we were alright." Edward said softly.

"We were." I said sitting on the closed toilet.

I wanted to spell it out for him. That he had hurt me badly when he left me but I couldn't. We hadn't had our talk yet and I didn't see that us having our conversation in the hospital bathroom minutes before we were subjected to a three and a half hour car ride together was a good thing. For all I knew I could piss him off resulting in him dropping me off at a jiffy and leaving my ass.

"We were." He repeated but it sounded like more of a question.

"We are Edward." I sighed rubbing the side of my stomach; it itched like crazy with all of the stretching. Baby kicked against my hand and I smiled.

"This must be the hormones thing." Edward said rubbing the back of his head awkwardly.

"No it's not." I said. "I'm sorry. I think we should just try to get out of here before anymore meltdowns occur. Please just go grab my clothes."

Edward froze in place at the door with his mouth hung open.

"Edward, please."

"Sorry." He said shaking his head and walking out of the room.

I piled my wet hair high on my head and tied it up with a rubber band because I didn't want to deal with it when the door opened and Edward came in. He didn't talk as he dried my body off with the towel and even helped me put on my underpants and maternity sweats. He helped me back into the room and sat me on the chair beside my bed.

"Do you want tennis shoes?" he asked calmly.

"Edward." I sighed rubbing my forehead awkwardly. "I'm sorry I bit your head off earlier. I just really think that we need to get home so that we can calmly talk things through without it turning into that again."

"Alright." He smiled kissing my lips and then my stomach before grabbing my foot. "I promise as soon as we get settled in Forks we will talk about everything but until then, tennis shoes or slippers?"

"My feet are swollen and I'm not going to be walking much, so just the slippers."

Edward chuckled and kissed the inside of my ankle.

"Why do you keep doing that?" I giggled pulling my foot out of his gentle grasp.

"Because I spent a lot of time without you. I missed kissing you. Touching you. I just missed you." He answered simply as he grabbed my house slippers and put them on me.

The doctor came in and gave me a few warning signs to look out for during the drive and I was finally released. After arguing with Edward over whether or not we took the balloon with us or not, I won and popped it leaving it in the garbage.

I was reclined in the Volvo the entire drive. Baby swam around my womb as if he or she were just as excited about being out of the crypt as I was. We stopped at dairy queen and got milkshakes. We listened to The Lonely Island Boys.

And Edward held my hand the entire drive.

Charlie was off when we got home. Out the door before Edward could put the car in park. Seeing as Charlie's house was only a two bedroom and both of said rooms were upstairs, I ended up in a makeshift bedroom completely taking over the living room.

Charlie ran to get take out for dinner leaving Edward and I alone. I dozed in and out of consciousness on my pullout bed when Edward stood up.

"I guess I'm going to head to my parent's house and leave you and Charlie to it." He leaned down to kiss me but I turned away.

"Stay."


	14. Wish I could

EPOV:

Stay.

She wanted me to stay.

God, how I wanted to stay.

I yearned to hold her close to me like I had at the hospital, my heart had nearly exploded in my chest when I heard her ask me to lay with her. I wanted to fall asleep with her in my arms and wake up comfortable with her next to me every morning for the rest of our lives. I wanted and my body physically needed to stay with her. She had wanted me too and in my selfishness I should have taken advantage of that and stayed.

But I knew I couldn't. The look on her face when she snapped at me at the hospital told me that we needed to talk and soon. She still held all of her anger inside and I couldn't stay and let her battle everything internally until she exploded like she had at the hospital. It wasn't healthy for her or for the baby to have all of those raw emotions bottled up inside waiting for something to happen to trigger something.

"I don't think that's such a good idea baby." I explained watching her face fall and her shoulders slump. "I think that I should head over to my parent's house and get settled for my stay. You need to relax. I'll call you tomorrow and if you feel up to it, we will sit down and talk."

I'm sure that she could detect the anguish in my words. Each word was forced when I wanted nothing more than to sit with her, to lay with her. I had to keep reminding myself that it was for the best. That until we talked about everything, it would always be a problem. As much as it hurt to leave her I knew it was for the best.

"Then I guess I'll talk to you tomorrow." She said sadly.

"Please Bella." I grabbed her face tenderly. "It's for the best. Once you've layed down for bed tonight you'll see that I'm right."

"Okay." She smiled sadly her eyes brimming with tears. "But how can you expect me to relax or sleep when you're not here. Before that night in the hospital, I hadn't had a peaceful night of sleep since the night before I left."

"I know baby. It was the same for me." I kissed her lips. "Call me if you need anything even if it's just to talk."

"I'm kind of tired so I think once I eat I'll just lay down. Call me bright and early tomorrow please." Bella said kissing me back.

"I'll call you as soon as I wake up." I lied knowing all too well that I would be up far earlier than she would.

The cruiser pulled into the driveway just as I was walking out the front door. Bella and I had already said our good nights so I figured it would be easy to do what I had to without her knowing.

"Edward." Charlie grumbled. "Heading out so soon." His voice had an underlining of accusation but I ignored it.

"Yeah, I need to head over to my parent's house and get settled for the night. I'm going to call Bella tomorrow so that we can talk." I shifted awkwardly.

"I agree that you two need to talk but Edward." Charlie looked at me seriously. "Don't do anything to upset her please. These past few months have been really hard on her and I."

"She wanted me to stay Charlie." I sighed. "The only reason why I didn't agree was because I knew that she needed to relax. She already got upset at the hospital before we left and I think that we need to clear the air before we move any further because she's already proved to me that things can't be forgotten."

"She's right son. These sorts of things will never be forgotten, the key is to forgive, not to forget. You need to prove to her that you're not going to make those mistakes again. You two need to talk about everything so just have Bella give me the heads up and I'll go down to La Push." Charlie grumbled. "To give you two some privacy."

"Thank you Charlie. I was actually hoping that you would call me when she woke up. I don't want to wake her up if she sleeps in or not call and make her upset." I rambled.

"I'll call you when she wakes up." Charlie agreed shifting the bags of take out. "I better get in there and feed our girl."

Our girl. The words struck a cord.

"She's always been yours Edward. I know I was against your relationship back then and hell I was ready to get my gun and hunt you down when I saw her standing in my front yard in the pouring rain after not seeing her for a couple of years but she told me the truth about what happened." Charlie explained sadly. "I wanted her to tell you. Your deserved the right to know about the baby, to be in it's life. I missed out on a lot when Renee left me and I didn't want to see history repeating itself with Bella."

"Thank you Charlie." I whispered.

"Don't mention it." He smiled but it was forced. "But if you ever hurt her again don't you forget that I have friends in high places."

"If I ever hurt her again, it wouldn't be a problem trying to come find me. I'll come willingly." I answered truthfully. "You better get in there before she falls asleep. Tell her I'll call her tomorrow."

"Alright." He grumbled turning away and walking up the front steps.

I waited until he disappeared behind the door before getting in my car and heading to the secluded woods that my parent's house resided in. The only lights that were on was the den as I grabbed my bag and headed inside. I could hear the nightly news playing in the living room and the sounds of something mechanical working rather quickly.

I sat my bag by the door and walked towards where all the sounds were coming from. I found my mother diligently working away at a sewing machine sitting on top of a TV tray in front of her chair. There was a twenty five foot extinction cord plugged in next to the TV and a bottle of wine sitting on the floor next to an iced tea glass that was half full.

Anyone that ever met my mother walking down the street would think that Esme Cullen was a five star restaurant eating, martini sipping rich bitch. Yes my mother enjoyed the finer things in life being a stay at home mom before she and my father even thought about having me. She went to college for philosophy not caring that it was impossible to get a job with that sort of degree.

She loved the lavish life that my father's occupation allowed her to live but she would trade everything, the money, our expensive house and even the spot at the Port Angeles country club for her family. I could understand that she had treated Bella badly, thinking that Bella had lied to me. My mother could be a bitch, when it came to her family.

To know the down to earth woman that was Esmeralda Cullen was a joy though. She wore her heart on her sleeve most of the time and never felt the need to press the fact that she was well off.

I watched as she pushed two pieces of fabric threw the sewing machine and curse loudly.

"Esme Cullen." She jumped up and screamed bloody murder knocking over the glass of wine. "How dare you use that language." I scolded.

"Edward Anthony you scared the he-heck out of me." she chided clutching her heart. "I didn't think you would be here so soon."

"Yeah Bella was tired and hungry and I wanted to get settled in here before I started working at the hospital." I explained laughing as she bent down and used a peice of scrap fabric to sop up the wine.

"Yeah but that won't be for a week or two Edward." She said knowingly. "So you thought you would give Bella some time to rest and come home and scare your dear old mom half to death."

"Sounds like it." I laughed walking into the room and hugging her.

"It's good to see you baby boy."

"It's good to see you too old woman." I chuckled earning a slap.

"Edward Cullen, a woman's age must never be brought up. I thought I raised you better." She sighed.

"Sorry mom. You don't look a day past eighty five." I joked again earning a harsh slap to the face.

"You know for a fact that I am forty seven." She yelled.

"I'm sorry mom." I looked past her and toward her chair. "So what are you doing in here that caused you to curse like a sailor?"

"Pshh, sailor. I decided that since I was becoming a grandmother at my young age." She sighed dramatically. "That I would start doing the grandmotherly things."

"Like?" I dragged.

"Like needlepoint but that ended badly." She held up her hand covered with tiny beige bandaids. "I don't have the patience to learn to knit or crochet, so I decided to try my hand at sewing all while watching the late night news, did you know it was so dreadfully boring?"

"Yes mother." I laughed. "So what are you sewing other than your fingers together here?" I asked walking over to the contraption.

"It was supposed to be a baby blanket but." She trailed off. "I can't figure it out so I guess it's a bunch of rags sewn together."

I lifted up the article in question and saw that it in fact looked like a bunch of rags sewn together.

"It's not that bad ma." I chuckled. "You'll get the hang of it. You have months to practice."

"It would really help if I knew if it was a boy or girl." She commented.

"Well you will see when we see. Bella decided she wanted it to be a surprise and I like the idea of it." I explained rubbing the back of my head.

"That's wonderful Edward." My mother cried. "I wanted to do that with you but your dad was doing his interning in the maternity ward and started crying 'my son my son' during the sonogram. Shall we say that the surprise was ruined?"

"Well I would know whether it was a girl or a boy by looking at the sonogram but Bella took a permanent marker and covered the gender." I chuckled.

"She's a smart girl." My mom giggled as she sat back down at the sewing machine and proceeded to cut the stitches out.

After a lot of encouraging I had a drink with my mother while watching the latest episode of Adult Swim. We laughed until our stomachs hurt and I started yawning.

"Oh honey you haven't slept in a bed in a week." My mother sighed.

I didn't correct her. I had slept in Bella's hospital bed but no one had to know of that fact. Instead I kissed her cheek and bid her a goodnight before grabbing my bag and walking up the stairs to my old bedroom.

Opening the door I smiled. My mother had left my room the exact way I had left it in my younger years. The dark blue sheets had been freshly washed and the floor had been recently vacuumed. My posters still hung on the walls and the picture of Bella and I the night of Prom still sat on my nightstand.

We had been dating for close to two years when we attended prom, it was the total cliché from the corsage to the cabin by the beach of La Push that a group of us had chipped in to rent for the weekend covertly lieing to one another's parents about our whereabouts. Alice was at Bella's, Bella at Alice's. Jasper at mine, and me at Jasper's.

Our first time was awkward and over nearly almost as soon as it began. Bella cried for hours afterwards because of the pain she went through and I cried because she was crying. That night we slept in each other's arms crying for our reasons. Bella told me she loved me for the first time the next morning.

We didn't try again for a long time after that, my mother and father had gone out of town for a conference that weekend. I was a nervous wreck the entire week as I planned for our weekend alone. Alice had agreed to lie for us and say that Bella was staying the weekend with her.

I made dinner.

I lit candles.

I danced with Bella.

And then I took her upstairs to my bedroom, this bedroom and we made love for the second time. It was simple. We only made love that one time during our weekend alone. Instead we cuddled on the couch and watched movies.

Sex didn't rule our lives, there were times when we craved it, when we felt like it and others when we just wanted to sneak away and hold each other.

As teenagers that probably would look to someone on the outside as unhealthy for being that way at such a young age. We didn't allow hormones to rule our brains instead we followed our hearts. My mother told me once that I was what she liked to call an old soul and that Bella was definitely another old soul. She found it remarkable that we had found each other so early but she always told us that we would last until we were old and grey.

I just hoped that after this conversation we were going to have tomorrow that my mother was correct in her beliefs


	15. Your silence isn't golden

BPOV:

Edward didn't stay. I had to have known that my outburst at the hospital would have its repercussions. But what can I say? Hormones are a bitch and so was I. It's like one minute I'm happy and laughing at an episode of Friends and the next I'm crying because Joey stuffed his head up the Turkey's ass and ruined thanksgiving dinner.

Charlie brought home Chinese but the baby evidently didn't care too much for veggie fried rice or the wonderful fried donuts that used to be my favorite. One whiff and I was laying back on my makeshift bed with my stomach rolling around like a wave machine. Charlie offered to make me something to eat but five year olds know how to cook better than my dad.

After three attempts at making me some buttered toast, the house was covered in a haze of smoke and Charlie was cussing out the toaster.

"Its fine dad I'm not hungry." I said leaning back into the bed and yawning underneath the shirt I had over my face so I didn't suffer from smoke inhalation.

"Don't even try it kiddo. You're eating something if it's the last thing I do." I heard a bang. "God damn it. Alright I'll be right back."

I watched him throw on a jacket and look around for his keys.

"Dad its fine." I giggled. "I'm pretty sure I'm going to be asleep by the time you get back from the store anyways."

"Oh I'm not going to the store." He grumbled. "I'm going to the diner."

"You are not going to the diner to buy me toast. Why don't you just make me a carnation instant breakfast shake and then I can go to sleep?" I offered.

"Hm, alright if that's what you want. Chocolate or vanilla?" he asked as he shucked his coat off and headed towards the smoky kitchen.

"Both." I answered picking up the remote and switching the TV over to cartoon network.

I could hear Charlie banging around the kitchen cabinets and muttering to himself about nutrition and other things but tuned him out and focused on the episode of Ed, Edd and Eddy with the jawbreakers. I sighed remembering the good old days of watching Rocko's Modern Life, Ren and Stimpy and Two Stupid Dogs.

Instead my baby was going to grow up watching the likes of SpongeBob Square pants and the scary show that is Dora The Explorer with her talking monkey and singing backpack.

"What is this world coming too?" I sighed.

"You know I have all of those VHS tapes that you recorded of your favorite cartoons when you were a teen." Charlie said handing me a tray with two tall cups of shakes on top. "Billy was telling me how Ness got this new thing for her computer that allows you to convert your VHS tapes to DVDs. Maybe you can get that and hook it up to your laptop."

"Hm, that does sound cool." I murmured. "It would give me something to do during the day."

"I'll bring the box down before I go to sleep so that you can go through them tomorrow." He smiled.

Charlie retired for the evening and I felt guilty that I had taken over his living room. He was a man that enjoyed his late night television and with me taking over his living room as a bedroom, I had ruined his late night routine.

Without a second thought I grabbed my laptop out from under the coffee table and powered it up before ordering Charlie a nice TV and DVD player combo for his bedroom. It wasn't as fancy as the flat screen he had bought with his income tax the previous year but it would get the job done while I took over his living room for the time being. I checked my email but found nothing but spam. Alice had basically taken my bed rest to a whole new level by sending mass email out to everyone and informing them that I wasn't to be bothered.

_She probably threatened to fire them._

After another hour of watching crap TV I decided to head to go to sleep. Charlie had already helped me to the bathroom so that I could wash my face and brush my teeth before he headed upstairs to his room. I grabbed my new pillow that would support the weight of my stomach while I lay on my side and tried to get comfortable.

After switching sides and moving pillows for over twenty minutes I sat up and grabbed my phone.

I wanted to call him. Just to know if he was awake like I was.

I wanted him to be awake so that I could convince him to come over but I knew that he was right when he said that we needed to be apart until we could have our talk.

Sighing I sat the phone back on the table and punched the body pillow before flopping back down on it. I stared at the ceiling trying to figure out how the conversation was going to go the following day. He told me he loved me, that he loved us.

I loved him.

Somehow sleep found me and when I woke up the following morning I was a basket of nerves. Charlie was already awake and banging in the kitchen. At the sound of my call he came running to help me to the bathroom.

I never would have thought that Charlie would take the whole restricted bed rest until further notice to the levels that he had. Upon entering the shower I realized that there was a chair sitting in the bathtub I was somewhat displeased. Two minutes into my shower I was thankful for the chair because I found myself extremely tired of standing on my sore knees.

A normal ten minute shower took me almost an hour by the time I was dry and dressed in one of my loosest maternity dresses. I had to forgo underwear because I couldn't bend over or bend my knees comfortably so I was glad that this dress went all the way past my knees.

Charlie fed me another instant breakfast shake and told me that Edward had called and was on his way with real food.

"I have to go to work and Edward knows that you have to eat so don't try to play the whole 'I already ate' thing alright?" Charlie said taking my empty glass from me and elevating my legs a little more as I lay on the couch.

"Alright pops."I saluted. "I'll see you when you get off work unless you're going to go down and see Billy? You know, you don't have to stay here with me I know you would like to see everyone down at the rez and I wouldn't hold it against you."

"I know Bells. I just want to be here for you." Charlie replied awkwardly.

"Yeah but I'm the one on bed rest not you." I laughed.

"I'll see you when I get off kiddo. Tell Edward I said to take care of you." He kissed my forehead before heading out the door.

"Like you didn't already threaten his ass when he called earlier."

"Goodbye Bells."

"Goodbye Captain." I joked.

I brushed my hair and filed my nails all before I heard steps on the front porch and the door opening.

"Bella?" Edward called through the house.

"No Bella here. Just this hippo laying on the couch with her feet properly elevated." I said in a scratchy voice.

Edward chuckled entering the living room and taking a look at me. "Well it's nice to see you haven't gone stir crazy yet."

"Well it's only day one. Just give me a week and I will be talking to the dust bunnies and naming the throw pillows." I joked.

"I brought breakfast." Edward laughed holding up two large containers of leftovers, no doubt Esme's cooking.

"What did your momma make me?" I asked scooting a little into a more seating position.

"She made you her famous pumpkin and walnut muffins." I moaned a little. "And for lunch, a casserole with cheddar, broccoli and rice." I think I might have drooled a little.

"Let me at em." I exclaimed reaching for the container with the muffins.

Edward readily handed me the Tupperware and went to the kitchen to get us each a glass of milk.

"So how did you sleep last night?" He asked while banging around the kitchen.

"Well after you left, your child-" I heard a loud bang of something dropping that sounded distinctly like the milk jug but ignored it. "Decided not to let me enjoy my dinner that Charlie went and got me so Charlie tried to make me toast. After burning it like four times he tried to go to the diner to buy me toast but instead I convinced him to make me carnation breakfasts. And of course the baby likes anything sweet."

"Here you go." Edward said handing me a giant glass of milk with ice cubes in it like I like before setting his on the table and leaning down in front of me and grabbing the hem of my dress.

"Wait Edward. What are you doing?" I snapped.

"I was going to kiss and scold my child." He answered cheekily. "Why?"

"Because erm, I'm not wearing any panties." I blushed madly.

"And why isn't Bella Swan wearing any panties?" he asked saying the last word as if it were a dirty word.

"Because that's not something one can ask their father to do when they get out of the shower." I blushed. "And my knees hurt really bad so no bending."

I took a peek at my legs and realized that my knees were still dark bluish, but turning green and yellow around the edges. They were still swollen and stiff as well.

"Well it's not something I haven't seen before." Edward grinned cockily before lifting my dress over my stomach and kissing my belly button. "Hey there little one. You need to eat your fruits and veggies because apparently mom's cut off the meats and proteins. Lay off the sweet stuff."

With a final kiss he pulled my dress back down and sat up grabbing his glass of milk and a giant muffin, courtesy Esme Cullen. I didn't realize I was crying as touched as I was by his little act of love, until I sniffed around my muffin. I wiped my eyes on the sleeve of my dress and Edward was gentlemanly enough to let me be hormonal without making a big deal about it.

We ate our breakfast in companionable silence while watching the local news. Edward asked why I was watching it and I politely told him that if I couldn't go outside I could at least see how the weather is.

"I could open a window for you if you want." He offered standing up.

"No, I know it's too chilly out there to open a window, this is fine." I told him.

After Edward took my glass back into the kitchen to rinse out, I sat up and tried to compose myself.

"So what are we doing today?" he asked nervously sitting across the room in my dad's chair.

"We need to talk." I replied.

"Okay. Where do you want to start?" he asked lacing his fingers together and setting them in his lap.

"I want to know the reason behind you being so completely irrational to me at the coffee shop. I mean I know I was pulling away and that it was getting on your nerves but you just snapped and didn't give me the time I needed." I answered.

_If I'm going to do this I might as well get it all out on the table._

Edward continued to stare at his hands as he opened his mouth to answer me. His mouth moved a couple of times but he didn't say anything and it started to make my blood boil. This was exactly the thing that he had gotten angry about.

I slammed my hand down on my thigh creating a loud sound and making him jump. "Answer me damn it." I snapped.

_A little taste of his own medicine never hurt anyone._

"I'm sorry." He said sitting up a little straighter. "I-I just. I have no excuse for how I treated you." He stumbled over his words.

"And you expect me to just sit here and take that explanation? Edward you made me feel like an insignificant piece of shit at that coffee shop. I was afraid to tell you I was pregnant because I thought you would leave me and you did it anyways." I swallowed back tears. "You gave me like five minutes to tell you world changing news and then freaked out and left."

As much as I loved him right now, tears would only show him how desperately I needed him. How absolutely weak I really was. And I refused to let my walls down.

"No, I don't expect you to take it. Or even forgive me." Edward cleared his throat. "I was tired Bella. Not only had I just came off a twenty four hour shift being exhausted has nothing to do with how tired I was of you pulling away from me. You wouldn't let me hold you at night, hell you wouldn't even kiss me anymore."

"Because I was afraid." I snapped again. "I knew we weren't ready to have kids. I thought you were going to tell me to have an abortion or something. I was trying to figure out how the hell I was going to tell you and then you sent me that text asking me to meet you at the coffee shop where you called me out."

"I would have stayed if you would of told me what was going on Bella." Edward answered calmly.

"How the fuck was I supposed to change your life forever when you fucking walked out of the goddamn shop without so much as a look back at me?" I cried. "You didn't give me the chance to tell you Edward."

"Why didn't you pick up the phone when I called you?" He asked.

"Because I was fucking heartbroken." I sobbed. "You left me in that coffee shop alone Edward and after I calmed down I realized that you didn't just leave me. You left the both of us." I lay my hand on my stomach.

"I didn't know Bella." He stood up and walked over to me. "How in the hell was I supposed to know?"

"You weren't." I hiccuped. "You were supposed to give me time."

"I'm sorry Bella. I don't know how many times I will have to say it and I have no idea how I can prove it to you that I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you like that." He cried burrowing his face in my lap. "I was hurt that you were keeping something from me. You're my best friend Bella."

"You're my best friend too. You should have just given me time." I cried.

"But we can't change that now." He looked up at me and I saw his red puffy eyes. "I'm not asking you to forget what happened Bella. I know you're mad and I'll wait forever if I have to for you to forgive me."

"Edward." I sighed running my hand through his hair.

"I just need you in my life. Both of you. I can't live without you. I didn't even try. After you left I didn't do anything but work until Aro had to kick me out of the hospital. I tried to stay busy but everything reminded me of you. I love you." He kissed my stomach as he sobbed. "I love you." He placed a kiss higher up. "I love you." He kissed my neck. "I love you." He sobbed against my lips.

I kissed him softly before pulling away.

"I can't forgive you easily Edward." I said quietly. "It's not who I am to just to forgive you when you hurt me so badly. Just give me time."

"I'll wait as long as I have to." He cried excitedly. "Forever."

"Edward." I said bringing him back to me.

"Yes?"

"It might take me a while but don't ever forget that I love you too."


	16. A tragic misunderstanding takes place

Chapter fifteen of the new story

EPOV:

"I don't want you to go." Bella's small voice was muffled by the pillow she cried in.

"Baby I have to." I chuckled rubbing her back as I straightened my tie. "It's my first day and I can't not go in."

She continued to sob while I continued to rub her back and shoulders in an attempt to comfort her. Looking up at the clock above the television I realized that I needed to leave in the next few minutes or I was going to be late for my first shift at Forks Hospital.

After the talk and both of us breaking down Bella had become a little clingy to say the least. We spent a lot of time talking about the baby and the mistakes that we made and surprisingly didn't get upset. I had taken to staying with her at Charlie's at night partially because she would call me in the middle of the night because she couldn't sleep and another reason being I didn't want to stay away from her ever again. She hadn't completely forgiven me and I knew that only time would cure the pain that we had caused each other but we also knew that being separate wouldn't help anything.

"I really have to go baby." I whispered. "But I promise I will be back in just a few hours. Before you know it, I'll be back here bothering you."

I couldn't tell what she was saying underneath the pillow but her body had stopped shaking so I figured she was calmed down enough. Slowly she took the pillow away from her face and rolled over to look me in the eye. Her face was puffy and red from crying but she still looked absolutely breathtaking. Pregnancy really did her well. Bella took the pregnancy glow thing to a whole new level, she was radiant.

"I'm sorry." she sniffed. "I just know that I'm going to be super bored and I'm hormonal."

"I know. I've been lucky to experience the entire colors of the rainbow that is your emotional range." I winked.

"Yeah. Go to work." she waved me away cleary not liking my teasing her.

"Are you going to be okay?" I asked. "Do you want anything before I go?"

"No, I'm fine." she sat up a little. "Don't worry about putting the bed away I feel like laying around and getting fatter."

She pointed to the basket that was filled with little Debbie stack cakes, crackers, cookies and juice boxes that sat on the end table. Charlie would only be a phone call away and in case of an emergency she could phone my father's pager or mine.

"The fatter you get the healthier and bigger our baby gets." I chuckled kissing her cheek. "I want you to sit here and eat all your munchies and watch loads of TV. Enjoy the quiet because once the little one is here, there won't be much of it."

"Alright." she said giving me a watery smile. "Have fun."

"Bella there isn't one thing fun about being away from you." I kissed her lips softly causing her to smile against my kiss. "Take care, and no getting up unless you have to use the bathroom. If you need anything call Charlie, he'll be closer. If you can't reach him don't hesitate to call me."

"Yes sir." Bella saluted. "Love you."

"Love you too."

I gave her a quick kiss goodbye before hurrying out the door and rushing to my car in the rain. I pulled into the hospital parking lot already twelve minutes late so I ran inside trying to avoid the downpour and skidded to a stop in front of the receptionist desk.

"Hello today is my first day. I need to see Carlisle Cullen." I rushed through my sentence trying to catch my breath.

"Hello Edward." The girl sitting behind the desk gushed. "How are you doing today?"

"Fine." I replied shortly. "Like I said it's my first day so if you could just tell me where I could find my father I would really appreciate it."

Her blond hair was sort of crunchy and frizzing all around her head. She wore entirely too much makeup for a secretary at a hospital. She looked more like a hooker than a professional.

"Well that sort of information might cost you." she batted her eyes and pushed her already way out there cleavage up and out of her top.

It was then that I realized that she had a name tag clipped to the very edge of her shirt: Jessica.

I opened my mouth to politely decline but was interrupted by my name being called from the elevator.

"Edward I was beginning to wonder where you were. Thought Bella might have gone and tied you to the coffee table so you couldn't leave." Dad laughed as he walked over. "Why good afternoon Jessica."

"Good afternoon Doctor Cullen. I like your new coat." Jessica crooned as she ran her hand down the arm of my father's coat. "I'm sorry it's my fault that Edward is a couple of minutes late."

For a second I almost thought that she wasn't a bitch. That is until she opened her mouth again.

"We got to talking about our high school days."

Then I realized that she was Jessica. Jessica Stanley well Crowley now. The Jessica that had attempted to make Bella's life miserable while she was alone in Forks.

"Edward and I were mighty flirty back in the day." she batted her eyelashes at me and rubbed my hand that still rested on her desk.

I politely pulled my hand away and stood closer to my dad.

"Is that so?"

"Sure is." Jessica answered before I could open my mouth.

Carlisle turned towards me with a questioningly look so I grabbed his arm and led him to the elevator without so much as a look back at… her.

"That was interesting." he commented as I straightened my tie and tried to remain calm.

"Yeah. Did you know that it was Jessica that had her brother in laws egg Charlie's house while Bella was home alone?" I grumbled.

"No I didn't know that." he said exiting the elevator.

I followed him to his office to set my bags down before I headed out on the floor. The entire town of Forks must have heard that I had returned even though today was my first real outing. I dealt with nosy old women trying to use their artificial hips to get dirt on my reasons for coming home. A few of the people that Bella and I went to high school with brought their children in with nonexistent ear aches to try to get me to talk.

Five hours into my shift, one of the doctors asked me to go to the on call room and grab some more tape and gauze so I rushed down the hall to the deserted room. Forks Hospital was small so that the on call room was never used. Instead it was turned into a giant supply closet with a bed leaning up against the back wall.

Bella and I made out there once during our senior year when we were supposed to be candy striping for community service.

Entering the room I felt around the wall for the light switch and gave a triumphant cry when I found it, only to sigh when I realized the light was blown. Cursing under my breath I felt around for the cabinets that held the supplies. I tried to feel around for the gauze and tape until I grabbed something that was warm, pillowy and somewhat squishy.

"What the hell?" I said out into the darkness.

"I knew you would come." a sickly familiar voice said before I was pushed through the darkness.

"Je-Jessica?" I stuttered as the back of my knees hit something and I found myself sitting in a rickety old hospital stool.

"I knew you wanted me all along. Bella tried to trap you but it's alright. I got you now." she ran her hands through my hair and straddled my lap.

"Jessica get off of me." I said trying to gently remove her from my lap but she refused.

"No Edward." I could smell her breath and that mixed in with her perfume had me holding back vomit. "I know you want me."

"Jessica you're married." I said keeping my voice calm and my hands off of her.

"Tyler is no one. He was just a substitute until you came back to me baby." she kissed my jaw.

It was something that Bella had done often, an act so innocent that would have me aroused in no time flat yet having Jessica grounding on my still flaccid member while she did it had me shivering, not in a lustful manner but in disgust.

"Jessica I'm going to ask you one more time to get o-" she cut me off by shoving her tongue down my throat and continued to gyrate on top of me like a stripper on acid.

I tried to gently remove her from my lap as the door opened and the lights turned on.

_Damn it I should have remembered that the working light switch was on the left side of the door._

"Oh sorry." my father blushed as he stood in the door in shock.

"NO!" I stood up knocking Jessica flat on her ass. "Thank you for coming in."

"Sorry Dr. Cullen. We got a little carried away." Jessica said as she got up off the floor and straightened her shirt out. "Who knows how far that would have gotten if you hadn't walked in."

"Oh, well I have to say that this is highly unprofessional. Please refrain from this type of behavior at work." Carlisle reprimanded us looking me straight in the eye questioningly. "Edward I need your help in exam room four when you have a second."

"I'm coming." I practically yelled as I followed him out the door forgetting everything that I had been asked to grab.

"No it's alright Edward, you can stay and help your friend."

The look in my father's eyes said it all. He was disappointed in me. He shook his head as he walked out of the room and I followed him without so much as a glance back at Jessica.

"Dad wait." I called.

"Never mind Edward. I can handle it on my own. Your mother is visiting Bella so I will pick her up tonight when my shift is over." his voice was calm but I could detect the underlying disappointment.

"Dad." I said walking towards him but he held his hand up.

"It's doctor Cullen." he said before entering exam room four and closing the door behind him.

_BELLAPOV_

I had been sitting on the couch poking the stale sandwich that Charlie had made for me and left while I dozed. He had came home for lunch and instead of reveling in the companionship, my pregnant ass fell asleep. I lifted the plate to my nose and took a sniff.

"Oh god. Mustard." I groaned.

Charlie's culinary skills needed desperate improvement. I haven't liked mustard ever and who the hell puts it on a damn cucumber sandwich?

I tossed the paper plate onto the table and sat back.

Edward had only been gone for an hour when Charlie came home to make me my delicious lunch. And as soon as he left there was a knock on the door. I was already on my way to the rest room so I shuffled over to the front door and checked the peep hole to find Esme Cullen smiling at me.

"Hi Esme." I said opening the door.

"Hi." she said shyly. "I knew that you were here all alone and thought that maybe I could keep you company. I brought you lunch." she held up a bag and I noticed that she had a basket with her as well.

"Come on in." I said.

She turned around and waved towards the driveway and I realized that Carlisle was sitting in his car. He smiled and honked the horn as he pulled out.

"I didn't know if you were asleep or not and I wanted to make sure you were up for company." she smiled sheepishly. "We were on our way back to the house from lunch. Carlisle had to head back to the hospital so I thought he could drop me off."

"Of course Esme. I was just about to go to the bathroom so I'll meet you in the living room. Don't mind the mess, Charlie didn't wake me up when he came home so the fold out bed is still out."

I shuffled into the restroom and did my business and found that Esme had cleaned up the living room in the five minutes while I was away.

"Alright so I know that you have to be bored to death by the television and that you still can't get up and around yet so I thought we could try our hand at knitting. You know little booties for the little one." her eyes lit up as she opened the basket revealing everything one would need to knit. "I even bought a DVD to teach us."

"That sounds great Esme." I sat next to her and situated myself so that my back was resting against the arm and my legs were folded in front of me.

We talked for hours about the baby. We watched the video and tried our hand at knitting a few unisex items. After two hours of grumbling and being frustrated, Esme threw her needle across the room and laughed when it bounced and hit Charlie's stuffed flounder.

We ended up making friendship bracelets using the yarn and beads that I had in the hall closet from the years of Charlie's guesses at what a teenager wants for a gift. By the time Charlie got home from work I had made enough bracelets and anklets to put one of the small Indian shops down in La Push out of business.

"Hi baby doll." he called hanging up his gun holster and jacket. "Oh hi Esme I didn't know you were stopping by today."

"Hi Chief. Thought I would come and keep Bella company while you and Edward were away." she smiled. "Carlisle will be here to fetch me soon."

"Non sense. You two should stay for dinner. I'm cooking." Charlie said walking over to the cabinet that held the take out menus.

"Oh no we couldn't impose." Esme explained bashfully.

"Nope. I'm not takin no for an answer. I order a mean pizza if I do say so myself." Charlie handed me the menu to the local pizza joint as my stomach growled loudly. "See, grandbaby agrees. Pizza it is."

I blushed as the two adults laughed at my loud stomach.

Carlisle came around a few minutes after the pizza arrived and while he was wielding two liters of soda pop, his calm and happy façade was a little fake.

"Are you alright Carlisle?" I asked as he leaned against the recliner across from me tiredly.

"What?" his head shot up and he gave me a sympathetic smile. "Oh I'm fine. Just a little tired."

"You can sit on the recliner and I'll call for Charlie to bring your pizza if you want? He does anything I ask." I joked.

"No that's fine." Carlisle laughed. "Just a little tired."

He went from smiling to extremely uncomfortable and then back to smiling again in a matter of seconds so I decided to drop it and enjoy my food. Carlisle tried to get Esme to leave as it was getting late but she claimed that she wanted to see how Edward's first day at the hospital went and I tried to ignore the fact that Carlisle flinched while she spoke.

He sat almost still as a statue when the front door slammed shut and we heard the shuffling of Edward's tired feet as he made it to the living room.

"Baby I'm home." He cheered. "And you have company."

"Hi. How was your day?" I said leaning up to kiss his lips.

"Great, no major accidents or anything. I saw a lot of people that we grew up with that's for sure." he said with a laugh and I noticed the Carlisle was glowering at him.

"Well your mom and dad wanted to see how the day went before they left." I said. "I have to use the bathroom."

"Come on Bella." Esme smiled sympathetically. "I'll help you dear."

As we shuffled down the hallway I heard Charlie excuse himself and his feet trudging up the stairs. As I entered the restroom I saw Carlisle pull Edward by the arm up and out of the living room forcefully.

In a hurry I finished my business and rushed through washing my hands so that I could make sure that everything was okay outside. Esme greeted me with the same warm smile she always had as we made our way back to the living room.

"Oh Esme. Would you mind grabbing that basket I need to refill it." I pointed to my basket of munchies that I had pretty much depleted in my hour of boredom before she had arrived.

"No problem sweetie." she smiled as she walked into the living room.

Carefully I walked silently into the kitchen and found it empty but the back door open. I walked over to the cabinet while eaves dropping on the two men outside.

"Dad you don't understand." Edward pleaded.

"Don't understand? How is it that I don't understand Edward?" Carlisle snarled. "I walk into the on call room to find you all over Jessica… a married woman and then I have to watch you come home and kiss the woman that is carrying your child."

My hand flew up to my mouth and I fought back the vomit making it's way up my throat.

_It's not true._

_It can't be._

"Da-"

"Edward, answer this question for me? Are you sure you're ready for this? That you and Bella having a baby is what you want? Because the way your acting is telling me that you're not ready, nor do you want this."

"Bella." Esme called from the doorway but I was too focused on Edward's answer.

I walked to the back door and realized that father and son were practically nose to nose.

"I don't know." Edward started.


	17. Eavesdropping is bad in a good way

Chapter fifteen of the new story

EPOV:

"I don't want you to go." Bella's small voice was muffled by the pillow she cried in.

"Baby I have to." I chuckled rubbing her back as I straightened my tie. "It's my first day and I can't not go in."

She continued to sob while I continued to rub her back and shoulders in an attempt to comfort her. Looking up at the clock above the television I realized that I needed to leave in the next few minutes or I was going to be late for my first shift at Forks Hospital.

After the talk and both of us breaking down Bella had become a little clingy to say the least. We spent a lot of time talking about the baby and the mistakes that we made and surprisingly didn't get upset. I had taken to staying with her at Charlie's at night partially because she would call me in the middle of the night because she couldn't sleep and another reason being I didn't want to stay away from her ever again. She hadn't completely forgiven me and I knew that only time would cure the pain that we had caused each other but we also knew that being separate wouldn't help anything.

"I really have to go baby." I whispered. "But I promise I will be back in just a few hours. Before you know it, I'll be back here bothering you."

I couldn't tell what she was saying underneath the pillow but her body had stopped shaking so I figured she was calmed down enough. Slowly she took the pillow away from her face and rolled over to look me in the eye. Her face was puffy and red from crying but she still looked absolutely breathtaking. Pregnancy really did her well. Bella took the pregnancy glow thing to a whole new level, she was radiant.

"I'm sorry." she sniffed. "I just know that I'm going to be super bored and I'm hormonal."

"I know. I've been lucky to experience the entire colors of the rainbow that is your emotional range." I winked.

"Yeah. Go to work." she waved me away cleary not liking my teasing her.

"Are you going to be okay?" I asked. "Do you want anything before I go?"

"No, I'm fine." she sat up a little. "Don't worry about putting the bed away I feel like laying around and getting fatter."

She pointed to the basket that was filled with little Debbie stack cakes, crackers, cookies and juice boxes that sat on the end table. Charlie would only be a phone call away and in case of an emergency she could phone my father's pager or mine.

"The fatter you get the healthier and bigger our baby gets." I chuckled kissing her cheek. "I want you to sit here and eat all your munchies and watch loads of TV. Enjoy the quiet because once the little one is here, there won't be much of it."

"Alright." she said giving me a watery smile. "Have fun."

"Bella there isn't one thing fun about being away from you." I kissed her lips softly causing her to smile against my kiss. "Take care, and no getting up unless you have to use the bathroom. If you need anything call Charlie, he'll be closer. If you can't reach him don't hesitate to call me."

"Yes sir." Bella saluted. "Love you."

"Love you too."

I gave her a quick kiss goodbye before hurrying out the door and rushing to my car in the rain. I pulled into the hospital parking lot already twelve minutes late so I ran inside trying to avoid the downpour and skidded to a stop in front of the receptionist desk.

"Hello today is my first day. I need to see Carlisle Cullen." I rushed through my sentence trying to catch my breath.

"Hello Edward." The girl sitting behind the desk gushed. "How are you doing today?"

"Fine." I replied shortly. "Like I said it's my first day so if you could just tell me where I could find my father I would really appreciate it."

Her blond hair was sort of crunchy and frizzing all around her head. She wore entirely too much makeup for a secretary at a hospital. She looked more like a hooker than a professional.

"Well that sort of information might cost you." she batted her eyes and pushed her already way out there cleavage up and out of her top.

It was then that I realized that she had a name tag clipped to the very edge of her shirt: Jessica.

I opened my mouth to politely decline but was interrupted by my name being called from the elevator.

"Edward I was beginning to wonder where you were. Thought Bella might have gone and tied you to the coffee table so you couldn't leave." Dad laughed as he walked over. "Why good afternoon Jessica."

"Good afternoon Doctor Cullen. I like your new coat." Jessica crooned as she ran her hand down the arm of my father's coat. "I'm sorry it's my fault that Edward is a couple of minutes late."

For a second I almost thought that she wasn't a bitch. That is until she opened her mouth again.

"We got to talking about our high school days."

Then I realized that she was Jessica. Jessica Stanley well Crowley now. The Jessica that had attempted to make Bella's life miserable while she was alone in Forks.

"Edward and I were mighty flirty back in the day." she batted her eyelashes at me and rubbed my hand that still rested on her desk.

I politely pulled my hand away and stood closer to my dad.

"Is that so?"

"Sure is." Jessica answered before I could open my mouth.

Carlisle turned towards me with a questioningly look so I grabbed his arm and led him to the elevator without so much as a look back at… her.

"That was interesting." he commented as I straightened my tie and tried to remain calm.

"Yeah. Did you know that it was Jessica that had her brother in laws egg Charlie's house while Bella was home alone?" I grumbled.

"No I didn't know that." he said exiting the elevator.

I followed him to his office to set my bags down before I headed out on the floor. The entire town of Forks must have heard that I had returned even though today was my first real outing. I dealt with nosy old women trying to use their artificial hips to get dirt on my reasons for coming home. A few of the people that Bella and I went to high school with brought their children in with nonexistent ear aches to try to get me to talk.

Five hours into my shift, one of the doctors asked me to go to the on call room and grab some more tape and gauze so I rushed down the hall to the deserted room. Forks Hospital was small so that the on call room was never used. Instead it was turned into a giant supply closet with a bed leaning up against the back wall.

Bella and I made out there once during our senior year when we were supposed to be candy striping for community service.

Entering the room I felt around the wall for the light switch and gave a triumphant cry when I found it, only to sigh when I realized the light was blown. Cursing under my breath I felt around for the cabinets that held the supplies. I tried to feel around for the gauze and tape until I grabbed something that was warm, pillowy and somewhat squishy.

"What the hell?" I said out into the darkness.

"I knew you would come." a sickly familiar voice said before I was pushed through the darkness.

"Je-Jessica?" I stuttered as the back of my knees hit something and I found myself sitting in a rickety old hospital stool.

"I knew you wanted me all along. Bella tried to trap you but it's alright. I got you now." she ran her hands through my hair and straddled my lap.

"Jessica get off of me." I said trying to gently remove her from my lap but she refused.

"No Edward." I could smell her breath and that mixed in with her perfume had me holding back vomit. "I know you want me."

"Jessica you're married." I said keeping my voice calm and my hands off of her.

"Tyler is no one. He was just a substitute until you came back to me baby." she kissed my jaw.

It was something that Bella had done often, an act so innocent that would have me aroused in no time flat yet having Jessica grounding on my still flaccid member while she did it had me shivering, not in a lustful manner but in disgust.

"Jessica I'm going to ask you one more time to get o-" she cut me off by shoving her tongue down my throat and continued to gyrate on top of me like a stripper on acid.

I tried to gently remove her from my lap as the door opened and the lights turned on.

_Damn it I should have remembered that the working light switch was on the left side of the door._

"Oh sorry." my father blushed as he stood in the door in shock.

"NO!" I stood up knocking Jessica flat on her ass. "Thank you for coming in."

"Sorry Dr. Cullen. We got a little carried away." Jessica said as she got up off the floor and straightened her shirt out. "Who knows how far that would have gotten if you hadn't walked in."

"Oh, well I have to say that this is highly unprofessional. Please refrain from this type of behavior at work." Carlisle reprimanded us looking me straight in the eye questioningly. "Edward I need your help in exam room four when you have a second."

"I'm coming." I practically yelled as I followed him out the door forgetting everything that I had been asked to grab.

"No it's alright Edward, you can stay and help your friend."

The look in my father's eyes said it all. He was disappointed in me. He shook his head as he walked out of the room and I followed him without so much as a glance back at Jessica.

"Dad wait." I called.

"Never mind Edward. I can handle it on my own. Your mother is visiting Bella so I will pick her up tonight when my shift is over." his voice was calm but I could detect the underlying disappointment.

"Dad." I said walking towards him but he held his hand up.

"It's doctor Cullen." he said before entering exam room four and closing the door behind him.

_BELLAPOV_

I had been sitting on the couch poking the stale sandwich that Charlie had made for me and left while I dozed. He had came home for lunch and instead of reveling in the companionship, my pregnant ass fell asleep. I lifted the plate to my nose and took a sniff.

"Oh god. Mustard." I groaned.

Charlie's culinary skills needed desperate improvement. I haven't liked mustard ever and who the hell puts it on a damn cucumber sandwich?

I tossed the paper plate onto the table and sat back.

Edward had only been gone for an hour when Charlie came home to make me my delicious lunch. And as soon as he left there was a knock on the door. I was already on my way to the rest room so I shuffled over to the front door and checked the peep hole to find Esme Cullen smiling at me.

"Hi Esme." I said opening the door.

"Hi." she said shyly. "I knew that you were here all alone and thought that maybe I could keep you company. I brought you lunch." she held up a bag and I noticed that she had a basket with her as well.

"Come on in." I said.

She turned around and waved towards the driveway and I realized that Carlisle was sitting in his car. He smiled and honked the horn as he pulled out.

"I didn't know if you were asleep or not and I wanted to make sure you were up for company." she smiled sheepishly. "We were on our way back to the house from lunch. Carlisle had to head back to the hospital so I thought he could drop me off."

"Of course Esme. I was just about to go to the bathroom so I'll meet you in the living room. Don't mind the mess, Charlie didn't wake me up when he came home so the fold out bed is still out."

I shuffled into the restroom and did my business and found that Esme had cleaned up the living room in the five minutes while I was away.

"Alright so I know that you have to be bored to death by the television and that you still can't get up and around yet so I thought we could try our hand at knitting. You know little booties for the little one." her eyes lit up as she opened the basket revealing everything one would need to knit. "I even bought a DVD to teach us."

"That sounds great Esme." I sat next to her and situated myself so that my back was resting against the arm and my legs were folded in front of me.

We talked for hours about the baby. We watched the video and tried our hand at knitting a few unisex items. After two hours of grumbling and being frustrated, Esme threw her needle across the room and laughed when it bounced and hit Charlie's stuffed flounder.

We ended up making friendship bracelets using the yarn and beads that I had in the hall closet from the years of Charlie's guesses at what a teenager wants for a gift. By the time Charlie got home from work I had made enough bracelets and anklets to put one of the small Indian shops down in La Push out of business.

"Hi baby doll." he called hanging up his gun holster and jacket. "Oh hi Esme I didn't know you were stopping by today."

"Hi Chief. Thought I would come and keep Bella company while you and Edward were away." she smiled. "Carlisle will be here to fetch me soon."

"Non sense. You two should stay for dinner. I'm cooking." Charlie said walking over to the cabinet that held the take out menus.

"Oh no we couldn't impose." Esme explained bashfully.

"Nope. I'm not takin no for an answer. I order a mean pizza if I do say so myself." Charlie handed me the menu to the local pizza joint as my stomach growled loudly. "See, grandbaby agrees. Pizza it is."

I blushed as the two adults laughed at my loud stomach.

Carlisle came around a few minutes after the pizza arrived and while he was wielding two liters of soda pop, his calm and happy façade was a little fake.

"Are you alright Carlisle?" I asked as he leaned against the recliner across from me tiredly.

"What?" his head shot up and he gave me a sympathetic smile. "Oh I'm fine. Just a little tired."

"You can sit on the recliner and I'll call for Charlie to bring your pizza if you want? He does anything I ask." I joked.

"No that's fine." Carlisle laughed. "Just a little tired."

He went from smiling to extremely uncomfortable and then back to smiling again in a matter of seconds so I decided to drop it and enjoy my food. Carlisle tried to get Esme to leave as it was getting late but she claimed that she wanted to see how Edward's first day at the hospital went and I tried to ignore the fact that Carlisle flinched while she spoke.

He sat almost still as a statue when the front door slammed shut and we heard the shuffling of Edward's tired feet as he made it to the living room.

"Baby I'm home." He cheered. "And you have company."

"Hi. How was your day?" I said leaning up to kiss his lips.

"Great, no major accidents or anything. I saw a lot of people that we grew up with that's for sure." he said with a laugh and I noticed the Carlisle was glowering at him.

"Well your mom and dad wanted to see how the day went before they left." I said. "I have to use the bathroom."

"Come on Bella." Esme smiled sympathetically. "I'll help you dear."

As we shuffled down the hallway I heard Charlie excuse himself and his feet trudging up the stairs. As I entered the restroom I saw Carlisle pull Edward by the arm up and out of the living room forcefully.

In a hurry I finished my business and rushed through washing my hands so that I could make sure that everything was okay outside. Esme greeted me with the same warm smile she always had as we made our way back to the living room.

"Oh Esme. Would you mind grabbing that basket I need to refill it." I pointed to my basket of munchies that I had pretty much depleted in my hour of boredom before she had arrived.

"No problem sweetie." she smiled as she walked into the living room.

Carefully I walked silently into the kitchen and found it empty but the back door open. I walked over to the cabinet while eaves dropping on the two men outside.

"Dad you don't understand." Edward pleaded.

"Don't understand? How is it that I don't understand Edward?" Carlisle snarled. "I walk into the on call room to find you all over Jessica… a married woman and then I have to watch you come home and kiss the woman that is carrying your child."

My hand flew up to my mouth and I fought back the vomit making it's way up my throat.

_It's not true._

_It can't be._

"Da-"

"Edward, answer this question for me? Are you sure you're ready for this? That you and Bella having a baby is what you want? Because the way your acting is telling me that you're not ready, nor do you want this."

"Bella." Esme called from the doorway but I was too focused on Edward's answer.

I walked to the back door and realized that father and son were practically nose to nose.

"I don't know." Edward started.


	18. You ate the babies twinkie?

Two and a half weeks, almost eighteen days of only seeing daylight via the internet, the television or staring out the window. All of that time sitting on my ass eating everything my swollen fingers touched and watching my waist expand.

Drama seemed to be the centerfold of my bed rest. First Edward's father thought that Edward was cheating on me and called him out on it in the backyard almost resulting in a fist fight between father and son. Second Alice and I got in a huge fight because I refused to let her use her freaky tarot cards that Jasper had bought for her on me.

She had shown up out of the blue and tried to talk me into letting her read my cards and after profusely telling her that I didn't want anywhere near the freaky things, it ended in an almost fist fight. After screaming at her so loudly that Charlie came downstairs and separated us, she left in a huff only to call me thirty minutes later and tell me that she needed a place to stay and that as her best friend it was my duty to find her a place to stay. Charlie said she could stay in my room but I would of felt better if she went and stayed at Esme and Carlisle's place. They were her family and I was thoroughly annoyed with her at the moment. She ended up winning my affections back with a chocolate bar from the gas station she had been sitting at after our fight.

The final meltdown. The meltdown of the century, the grand finale would be over something that I held dear and close to my heart. Edward being the selfish pig that he is almost lost his left nut during that fight and if Charlie hadn't been at work, I'm sure that I would have ended up using his gun to remove said testicle.

The final meltdown occurred the morning of my doctor's appointment. I woke up to the rustling of plastic and shot up like a bat out of hell.

"I know you are not eating the last twinkie." I snarled snatching empty paper out of Edward's hand and unrolling it to find the Hostess logo.

"Um, no I _ate_ the last twinkie. Past tense." he shrugged.

That is when my hand lashed out as if it were possessed and I slapped the shit out of Edward's face. I hit him so hard, little bits of the twinkie that was like gold to me flew out of his mouth.

"Ow Bella what the hell?" he said holding his cheek.

"You ate my twinkie Edward." I growled. "The last one. The one I dreamed about last night because I knew I would be able to eat it on the way to the doctor's office."

Immediately he must have realized that I was clearly off my rocker, hormones were a bitch and I was being the absolute mother of all bitches. Wrapping his arms around my shaking body he kissed my forehead.

"This doesn't make it better." I snapped.

"I know baby. I'll go buy you a case of twinkies. I promise." he said his warm breath flowing over my face and it fucking smelled like twinkie.

"No you don't understand. That wasn't my twinkie Edward." I started to cry as if the morning wasn't already hectic enough. "It was the baby's."

"Bel-"

"No Edward. It was the babies twinkie and you ate it. I bet you didn't even eat it like I do, did you?" I sobbed.

"Yes I did baby. I bit of each end and sucked all the cream out just like you." Edward said sarcastically. "It's a damn twinkie Bella. Calm down, there are plenty more at any seven eleven in town."

"Don't cuss at me Edward Cullen." I screamed. "Fuck you."

"Bella."

"Shut up. Get away from me." I said reaching over and grabbing my cell phone.

"Who are you calling?" he said attempting to pull the phone out of my hand but I held it in a firm death grip.

"Charlie. Your being a dick and this is my first time outside in a long time. I would rather he take me." I snarled. "Hand me the phone Edward."

"No, you're being ridiculous." he scoffed.

"Edward hand me the fucking phone. I don't want you to come to the doctor's appointment with me now."

Edward's face twisted into a mask of pain before he looked me in the eye. "You're going to make me miss more than I have already?" he asked painfully.

Like a rubber band snapping back into place everything caught back up to me and I clung to Edward as if he were my life line. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Don't be angry." I sobbed into his neck not caring that my snot, tears and slobber was drenching his shirt.

"It's fine baby calm down." he whispered calmly. "I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry."

"It's true." I choked. "I made you miss everything. It's my fault."

"Shh, now it's alright baby. I'm here now." he kissed my cheek. "We have to get ready to go baby. Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I hiccupped. "I really need a shower now."

Edward picked me up and carried me to the bathroom despite my protests. I was growing larger and larger everyday and it couldn't be good for his back to carry me like he was. He ignored my bitching as he sat me on the small counter and started the shower.

We showered together, partially because I couldn't stand on my own for more than a few minutes because I was weak from the bedrest and he was making sure I followed the bedrest rules until the doctor said it was okay. And also because I refused to let him be more than a few feet away from me after my emotional outburst over a fucking snack cake.

Edward let me lean against his chest as he washed and conditioned my hair. I pressed my lips to his heart and closed my eyes as he massaged my scalp. His erection pressing firmly against my belly button. Every now and then it would press a little harder and the baby would kick or punch at me from the inside.

I started giggling and Edward pulled away. "What? I am a man Bella."

"Stop being pervy and hurry it up we're going to be late." I said grabbing him with one hand and pumping a few times for good measure. "I missed you."

"Are you talking to my penis?" Edward chuckled running his hand through my hair weakly to make sure the conditioner had rinsed thoroughly.

"Hm, I wish I could do more." I said rubbing my thumb over the tip and back down again when his hand stopped mine.

"Stop, you don't have to do this." he said half heartedly.

"Let me." I whispered kissing his lips. His hips bucked causing him to hit my stomach again.

"No baby." he gasped. "We're going to be late."

"Fine, but we will continue this later." I said sternly. "Or there will be hell to pay."

"I promise. As soon as you get the go ahead from your doctor I will worship every part of your body. From your cute little toes all the way up to your hair line." he whispered huskily.

"Hmm sounds good." I groaned as the water started to cool.

We both had become extremely sexually frustrated especially in the past few days. My dreams were very vivid causing me to act out on some of them in my sleep. More than a few times I've woken up dry humping Edward's leg or with my hand down his pants. He would end up in the bathroom to relieve his problem more often than not and for that I was jealous that he was able to find release when I constantly felt like I was going to explode.

I prayed every night, even when I wasn't woken up in a heightened state of arousal that this doctor's visit would give me the all clear and allow me to at least get permission for some heavy petting. If not, they were going to have to strap me down for the next three months and hope to god I don't spontaneously combust out of horniness.

Before I knew it Edward and I were arguing over me taking too long to get ready. I wanted to put on some light makeup and straighten my hair, he wanted to hurry and be early for the first appointment he would be present for.

"I don't see why you're getting all dolled up baby. They are going to make you change into a paper gown to check you anyways." he rolled his eyes as I ran the hair iron through my locks.

"Yeah you wouldn't see." I snapped turning towards him wielding the hot piece of equipment in his face.

"I haven't been out of those doors in almost three weeks. I would like if my first visit to the outside world didn't consist of me looking like a damn ogre or some shit. So please just let me be."

"Baby you are absolutely beautiful. Pregnancy definitely suits you well." he grabbed the iron from me and ran it through the back part of my hair expertly.

"I know Edward." I sighed. "This town has done a lot to me in the past couple of months and I would really like to not feel like a fat cow when I step outside in a few minutes. Before you say anything me, doing this is going to make me not feel like a fat cow alright?"

"I'm going to say it anyways because it's the duty of the father. You're not fat, you're swollen with the fruit of my loins woman. Now hurry up let's go." he said tapping my butt with his palm. "Pray for the all clear." he whispered almost so softly I wouldn't have heard.

"Amen." I giggled.

Dr. Gerandy was waiting at the nurse's station when we arrived at the hospital. She met us at the door with a wheel chair and forced me into it, stating that it was definitely regulations until after the check up.

"Just think, you could be walking out of here on your own." she smiled.

"Ha, please don't get my hopes up." I joked.

Like Edward said they had me change into a paper gown and Edward lifted me onto the table with the stirrups. Dr. Gerandy came in and explained that she was going to use both types of ultrasound just to make sure that everything was okay before deciding whether or not I could be taken off of strict bed rest.

While she checked me over, she kept telling me that at best I would be released from bed rest but still have to take it easy.

"Can you tell me if I can have sex?" I asked.

Edward snorted from his perch up by my head and Dr. Gerandy laughed as she fondled my bits.

"I can tell you that. Now I'm sure your hormones are ready for some huge sex fest blow out but you are going to need to take it easy. No over doing it, no all nighters if you will. We can't have you going into preterm labor. At this point we would be able to help the little one but let's just say we want him or her to stay in there a little while longer."

"So that's a yes?" I asked Edward choked a little but held my hand.

"We haven't gotten that far into the examination. I just wanted to let you know what would happen if you got the go ahead so that as soon as I said yes to sex, you two didn't run off." Dr. Gerandy laughed.

"Everything looks good so far down here." she said snapping off her gloves into the waste paper basket. "Now don't get your hopes up I want an ultrasound just to make sure and then I will come to my conclusion."

"Alright." Edward and I said at the same time.

"Even if you're on bedrest, think of the baby. You're doing something magnificent just by laying around. Enjoy it because once the baby is born you will be up and around even when you don't want to be." she smiled sadly as she turned to Edward. "Well Dr. Cullen are we ready to see the baby? I'm under strict guidelines to cover the bottom half of the baby from you, seeing as you could probably point out the sex sooner than I can so I hate to do this but you're going to have to leave the room while I check everything out."

"I'm not leaving Bella." Edward said stubbornly. "I'll turn around, close my eyes or something but I'm not leaving the room."

"It's alright Edward." I whispered.

"No it's not. I'm going to be present for every doctor's appointment or check up from now on so I'm sorry Stephanie, I'm not leaving." he said.

"Alright. If you would be so kind to turn around for a few minutes I will check everything over and cover it up before you turn back around. Please and thank you." Dr. Gerandy laughed. "You're stubborn like your daddy you know?"

"So I've been told." Edward said cheekily as he turned to face me but away from the sonogram screen. "Remind me why I went and became a doctor again?"

"Because you wanted to save people and follow in your father's footsteps." I said quietly watching as Dr. Gerandy started the machine and spread the goo on my giant belly.

And there he or she was, just like that our baby's picture popped up on the screen. I could see his or her little arms and legs and realized what the baby was doing.

"Dr. Gerandy please cover the sex." I said and she grabbed a folder. "Edward you have to see this."

"It's safe to turn around Edward."

I pointed to the screen as he turned around and we both marveled out our baby. They had their fingers placed in front of their face in an act that their grandfather and father had evidentially passed down to them.

"The baby is pinching their nose Edward." Dr. Gerandy laughed. "I can't count the times I've seen you and your father do that."

"Can you take a picture of that?" I asked.

"Of course." she said leaning over with her elbow and pressing a button. "Done. Now Edward turn back around so I can finish this."

"Yes ma'am." he saluted and turned around to face me again his eyes filled with tears. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"And I love the three of you. Bella you're looking really good." Dr. Gerandy said wiping my belly off and throwing away the towels.

"What does that mean?" I asked nervously moving to grip Edward's hand tightly.

"That means that your baby is growing good and strong, your placenta is still attached so you don't have to worry. And you can have safe, boring sex. No rough stuff got it?"

"Got it." Edward and I said.

"I mean it Bella." she got in my face. "One sign of something being wrong I want you to make him stop and you to get here immediately understand?"

"Yes ma'am." I said. "So can we go?"

"No. We need to talk about your bed rest." I sighed. "I want you to take it extremely easy Bella, do you understand? Yes you can get up and yes you can walk around the grocery store but no pushing the cart if there is too much in it. No overdoing it if it's too hot. I will see you in two weeks and if I find anything out of place I'm going to hold you accountable. You and Edward can go for walks around the yard but I want you up and about only if someone is there with you just in case. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you get tired or something feels off do you understand?"

"Yes ma'am." I said for the millionth time in the past hour.

"Then you're free to go now. No car sex Edward Cullen. I want you to make sure that Bella is extremely comfortable. I wouldn't give you the go ahead unless I knew it was safe but please don't take it for granted. Please be careful." she stressed.

"Will do. Thank you Stephanie." Edward shook her hand and she left the room, allowing me to get dressed.

Even though I had been given the go ahead Edward insisted that he help me get dressed. Paying close attention to my inner thighs as he pulled my underwear up caused me to moan.

"I'm pretty sure that Stephanie's go ahead didn't mean that it would be okay to start here. Let's go." Edward said pulling my shirt over my head and leading me out the door.

"Yeah lets."


	19. A decision must be made

"Edward I don't want to go straight home." I said fiddling with my seat belt.

"Huh?" he asked as we pulled out of the hospital parking lot. "Where do you want to go then? You can't walk around too much."

"I don't care. I want to cook dinner tonight so maybe we could go grocery shopping for the things I will need." I offered.

"Alright baby." Edward chuckled. "What are you making?"

"Eggplant parmesan." I moaned licking my lips just thinking about the dish, I could practically taste it on my tongue right then and there. "With butter noodles and a nice tossed salad."

"Keep moaning like that and I'll toss your salad." Edward murmured almost low enough that I couldn't hear him.

"In due time baby, in due time." I patted his upper thigh and he gasped grabbing my wrist and setting it in my lap.

"None of that unless you want to forgo the grocery store." he said quietly. "Understood?"

"Aye aye captain." I smirked.

I hadn't been in the grocery store in a long time, but just like the town of Forks nothing had changed. The tower of tuna was still part of the forty nine cent a can bargain deal in the middle of the store, except for twenty five out of the hundreds of cans being gone from the top.

Edward had me push the cart using it for support as we slowly made our way through the small store. Everyone inside stared at us like we were diseased, but Edward kept my attention focused on only him and the task at hand. He offered to cook desert since I was going to be cooking dinner.

"What are you going to make?" I asked as I squeezed a few eggplants choosing the best ones.

"My specialty." He shrugged holding the produce bag open for me.

"Edward you can't cook to save your life so what are you going to buy?" I laughed moving onto the tomatoes for the sauce.

"I am going to PREPARE my special root beer floats." he smiled. "Thank you very much."

"Delicious." I said.

"Yes, yes you are." Edward said pulling me into his arms and kissing me senseless in the produce section of the grocery store.

"Looks like she finally managed to trap his ass." Lauren said into her phone as she wiped her child's face with a baby wipe. "She just practically mauled him in the grocery store Jess. Yeah I know."

My blood began to boil as I pulled away from Edward. Instead of going after her and beating the shit out of her like I wanted to, I grabbed his hand and led him towards the pasta.

"I can't wait to be away from this place." Edward murmured.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Well your better so pretty soon we can head back to the house. Back to Seattle. We can get the baby's room ready and everything." he smiled excitedly.

"Oh."

Thoughts of going back to Seattle plagued my mind. If we went back there I would be away from Charlie except for the trips that would no doubt have to be planned especially after the baby arrived. Alice had her magazine and everything in Seattle but there was no reason why I needed to be there. I have worked via the internet for a while, what's the difference now?

"Bella what's wrong?" Edward brought me out of my thoughts by grabbing my face.

"N-nothing. I just thought that maybe you would want to stay here a little longer. You know spend time with your parents and everything." I offered.

"Bella we live three hours away what's the difference?" he scoffed.

"I'm not ready to leave my dad yet. He's here all alone." I stuttered.

"Well I guess we can stay a few more days." my heart clenched at his words.

"Yeah I guess."

I finished the rest of the shopping in silence. Edward tried talking to me every now and then cracking jokes to make me smile, but I couldn't focus on him. Charlie was the only one there for me when no one else was and now Edward was asking me to leave him.

I didn't even realize we were back at Charlie's house until Edward reached over and unlatched my seatbelt. He allowed me to walk into the house by myself while he grabbed the groceries and didn't say anything when I laid in bed under the covers in silence.

I listened to the cabinets banging and the fridge opening and shutting as he put away the groceries. I lay there feeling slightly depressed despite the fact that I was on my way to healing.

I burrowed into the blankets and closed my eyes. How was I supposed to talk Edward into staying in Forks when he loved his job in Seattle? Would he choose to leave if I told him I wanted to stay?

I felt the bed dip signaling that he was sitting next to me so I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to pretend that I was sleeping.

"Did I do something to upset you?" Edward asked leaning over and wrapping his arm around me. I kept my eyes closed. "Bella I know you're not asleep. You sleep with your mouth slightly open."

I opened one eye and realized that his face was an inch and a half away from me and I gasped. "You didn't do anything." I mumbled sitting up and leaning against the pillows.

"You're lying. I can't figure out what I did, one minute we're making out in produce, the next your completely ignoring me. I know your hormones are going crazy but damn at least yell, curse, slap the shit out of me don't just close me out." he kissed my forehead. "Now tell me what I did."

"I can't." I murmured.

"Baby you can tell me anything. Just don't shut me out." he begged.

"Iwanastayinforks." my voice was muffled by the pillow I put over my face.

"Huh?"

"I want to stay in Forks." I said again lifting my face away from the pillow to look him in the eye.

His face was emotionless.

"Bella why would you want to stay here? This town has done nothing but ridicule you and treat you like dirt." he asked.

"My father is here." I said sadly. "You probably wouldn't understand Edward but he was here for me when nobody else was. I just don't want to leave him. We're going to have a baby and I want him to be around all the time for our baby. Your parents live here too Edward, what about them? They are going to want to be around a lot too."

I finally paused to take a deep breath.

"Are you finished?" Edward asked.

I nodded.

"Our lives are in Seattle Bella. You have the magazine and I have my position at the hospital waiting for me. We can't just up and leave everything we know." he explained sadly.

"I can work through emails and still go to Seattle for meetings Edward." I sighed. "And you already have your transfer in, I'm sure Aro and your father could work something out."

"Bella." Edward started but I held up my hand.

"Just forget it. Your answer is no, you don't have to sugar coat it." I turned around. "I'm tired so I'm just going to go to sleep. I'll cook when I wake up."

"No Bella we need to talk about this." Edward sighed.

"What's there to talk about? You said no." I turned around and kissed his cheek.

"What if we just stayed here for a little while and I tried to talk it over with my dad and Aro. Maybe they can trade someone or something." Edward kissed my lips. "I want you to be happy and I understand your meaning behind wanting to stay near our families. I'll try but I don't want you to get your hopes up, if it doesn't work out alright baby?"

It was sort of like deja vue, the entire conversation about not getting our hopes up about something.

"Really?"

"I promise I'll try baby. Now you rest I'm going to go make some calls." he leaned over my body and kissed me but I held onto him.

"I was faking being tired."

"Oh you were, were you?" he smirked pulling me up so that I could comfortably kiss him without having to turn my neck in an awkward position.

"Uh huh." I gasped as his lips connected with my exposed collarbone. "I also believe you made me a promise this morning Mr. Cullen."

"I tend to fulfill all of my promises Miss. Swan." he nibbled my collarbone as his fingers began to work the buttons on my maternity blouse. "No bra?"

"My boobs hurt." I blushed.

"We're about to make love and your blushing over saying boobs." Edward chuckled clicking his tongue. "Your far too innocent baby."

"Don't judge me." I said reaching down and cupping his covered erection in my palm. Edward gasped and bucked into my hand.

I reached up and gripped the bottom of his shirt pulling it over his head and running my nails up and down his rock hard chest. My shirt was the next to be removed, he slowly slid it off of my shoulders before attacking every inch of my exposed skin with feather light kisses.

I tried not to think about how fat I felt as Edward removed my gym shorts and panties. Sure he had seen me naked over the past couple of weeks when he helped me in shower and get dressed, but this was different.

Edward must have felt my finished removing my underwear from around my feet and leaned his forehead against mine.

"I love you. You're so beautiful." he said softly dissolving any of my insecure, ugly feelings. "Let me worship you."

His hand trailed up from my knee, up my thigh and straight to where I wanted, needed and craved for him. Wasting no time he inserted two fingers while his thumb circled my clit roughly causing me to cry out and arch off of the bed. The sunlight streaming in through the windows flowed through his hair showing off the different penny colors and I couldn't help but run my hand through it bringing his face to mine.

"I want you." I gasped as he started pumping his fingers into me softly. "All of you right now."

"No." he groaned. "I want to make sure you come first. It's been so long I won't last."

I reached down and grabbed his erection swirling my thumb in the precum that dripped out of the small slit at the head. Edward moaned as I pumped him bucking into my hand as he continued to assault my hot core with his talented fingers.

Call it hormones, being pregnant, not having sex for months or whatever the hell you want as soon as Edward pressed his thumb to my clit, I came harder than I ever had before. Stars clustered my vision as I arched off of the bed and bucked against his hand trying to ride out my powerful orgasm. I didn't realizing I was screaming his name until he kissed my lips passionately to silence me.

I dropped his dick and twisted my hands in the sheets as his hand picked up speed and brought me to another powerful yet unexpected orgasm. Sweat was pouring off of my body as I moaned and thrashed around the bed. I could hear him panting as he whispered his love for me but I was too aroused to reply instead I continued to moan until he pulled away from me.

"Where are you going?" I gasped.

"I'm just taking my pants off the rest of the way baby." he smirked standing up and kicking his pants to the side before climbing back onto the bed.

The springs of the old fold out protested causing me to giggle. "We're having sex on Charlie's couch."

"Shut up Bella. You're going to kill my buzz." Edward chuckled.

He kissed me one more time before spreading my thighs with his warm hands. I gripped his back as he attempted to lower himself on top of me to enter me but he pulled away.

"This isn't going to work?" he said.

"What? Why?" I said sitting up.

"Your belly is in the way baby, it won't be comfortable for either of us." he explained, the tips of his ears glowing red.

"Oh great." I wailed. "I finally get to have sex and I'm too fucking fat for it. This is perfect. Just fucking perfect."

"Bella calm down." Edward soothed me.

"No, I really need this Edward I need you so badly it hurts." I sobbed, tears of frustrations falling down my cheeks.

"Then we'll fix it." he shrugged.

"How?" I asked sniffing.

"You get to be on top." he smiled. "My favorite."

"No." I shook my head. "I'm like forty pound heavier then I once was and I don't want you to have to stop in the middle of it because your arms hurt or your legs fall asleep."

"Bella." Edward laughed. "Stop acting like this. You want it." he kissed my right breast and licked the nipple before nipping the tip. "I want it." he moved onto the left. "So let's do it."

"You'll tell me if it's too much right?" I asked biting my lip. "I mean it one word and we'll stop. Pretend like it never happened."

"I promise baby." he said helping me sit up before laying down.

Getting situated sort of reminded me of our first time together. It was awkward sort of like now, trying to figure out how to get me comfortable with my giant belly. Edward was a champ as I figured out how to straddle him without squishing the baby or getting cramped legs.

As I lowered myself onto him I swear I heard a breath of exaltation but he will never admit to it. I immediately started working to find my own release not caring if Edward was uncomfortable or not but by the sounds he was emitting, I'm pretty sure he was liking it as well.

"I love you." I gasped as I continued to move on top of him.

"I love you too baby. Come with me." he groaned as I felt him twitch inside me spurring my own orgasm.

Much like the last two I ended up convulsing on top of Edward as he gripped my hips and worked my body to ride out our climaxes. My mouth opened widely in a silent scream as I gasped for air and grabbed my breasts as I continued to move slowly.

Edward's hands covered mine right as the front door opened.

"Bells? How was your appointment?" Charlie asked. I could hear him putting up his gun holster as Edward pulled me down quickly and covered our bodies with the blanket.

Charlie's footsteps were getting closer as I hid my red face in Edward's chest.

"Oh she's sleeping." he whispered.

"Yeah." Edward whispered squeezing me tightly. "The appointment went well. She's off of her strict bed rest and as soon as she wakes up, she's cooking dinner."

"Oh well I'm just going to get changed and then I'm heading out to La Push to visit Billy and his family. Tell her I'm happy for her when she wakes up." Charlie said cheerfully.

I listened to his footsteps trail up the stairs before peeking up at Edward.

"Sorry." I giggled.

"Sorry? You should be. What if he knew." he groaned. "Oh god Bella that was close."

"I know. I'm sorry." I gasped.

"Well for one thing if we do decide to stay in Forks we have to look for a new place. Pronto."


	20. House hunting and meeting the McCartys

EPOV:

"The next place is a little older. Keep in mind that it needs a little TLC." our realtor explained as she tore down the rainy streets of Forks.

"We're open for anything." I said squeezing Bella's hand reassuringly while she rubbed her swollen stomach.

After Bella and I talked about it, we decided to stay in Forks to raise our baby. Luckily the people of Forks were able to mind their own business. There were times that we would walk into a grocery store or even the lodge to have dinner and everyone would get quiet but Bella ignored it. I had asked her one time after returning back to Charlie's why she insisted that we stay in a town that basically frowned upon the two of us and she told me that she was better than them, we were going to prove to the town that two unmarried people could raise one really awesome kid. I still had my reservations about staying in Forks but seeing Bella's face light up when she spoke of being able to visit Charlie and my parents often during the week instead of having to plan something out.

I had spent the last couple of weeks packing up our home in Seattle and meeting with Aro and my father about a permanent transfer. Luckily there was a doctor that was looking to relocate to Seattle to be closer to her boyfriend so they basically just traded the two of us. Our parents were more than happy when we told them our plans.

We called the local realty company in town and were set up with Victoria Woods, a fiery red head that seemed a little too good at her job.

We had already looked at two other houses, one a brand new two bedroom, three baths, two story house and a fully restored three story, five bedroom, seven baths. Both were beautiful and wonderful homes but the first was a little too small for something we needed and the second a little too impractical.

Victoria pulled up to a small fence and jumped out pushing it open before running back to the car and driving up a short driveway. She looked to the left and murmured something along the lines of 'thank god the neighbors are out'.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Woods?" Bella asked as I helped her out of the car.

"Oh nothing." Victoria beamed staring at the house next door.

There were toys spilling off the porch meaning that there were kids so it was an immediate plus. The baby could have friends next door to play with. One of the things Bella and I had agreed upon was a good neighborhood and while Forks was tiny, we wanted a very comfortable place for our baby to grow up in. The house we were currently standing in front of was just on the outskirts of town in a small humble neighborhood.

"Alright." Victoria clapped her hands. "It's three bedrooms, two baths, there's a laundry room off of the kitchen and it's one story. I take it you two were starting to move towards the one stories and there aren't many around here available and this is the largest one. So why don't we got inside and take a look around eh?"

"Lead the way Mrs. Woods." I gestured to the house.

The lawn hadn't been mowed in quite some time so I walked ahead of Bella making sure there wasn't anything dangerous that she could step on. The front of the house was beautiful, just a little run down. The front had an attached covered porch that was held up by columns that were covered with what looked like children's drawings. The front door was covered in what I hope was mud but couldn't be sure. Victoria wasn't lying when she said it needed some TLC.

We stood under the lattice and watched as she unlocked the door. "The inside is in a lot better shape than the outside trust me." she grumbled gesturing for us to follow her inside.

The house was beautiful. The rooms were spacious and the kitchen was something that Bella fawned over despite the fact that it hadn't had a good scrubbing in a long while. Granite countertops and a giant window above the two compartment sink had Bella daydreaming of the meals she would cook despite the fact that there wasn't even a refrigerator or a stove yet. She ran her hands across the cabinets and mumbled something about a fresh coat of finish before turning to me.

"I want it." she mouthed.

Victoria had been on her phone talking about something so we waited until she snapped it shut with a huff and turned to us. "So what do we think?"

"I think the asking price is a little high seeing as the owners have done nothing to try to sell it. Take ten grand off of the asking price and place an offer." I smiled rubbing Bella's stomach where the baby was doing summersaults.

"Oh, that's a lot of money Mr. Cullen." Victoria's face fell. "I'm not sure that the owners are going to go for that."

"I'm not asking what you think. It seems to me like they've given up on this lot, so why don't you do as I ask and we'll see how it goes?"

Victoria agreed and got on the phone with her office while Bella walked around taking pictures with her phone to show my mother. We were standing by the front porch looking at the cracked window on the left side of the house, when we heard simultaneous car doors slam shut and what sounded like a great party going on next door.

I turned to find a small group of children wrestling in the front yard while a heavily pregnant and still very attractive blond screamed at them to stop. Her long blond hair was pulled into braided pigtails and her violet eyes blazed as she tried to contain the group of children.

I was about to go offer to help her, before one of them got hurt when she put two fingers in her mouth and whistled loudly.

"STOP IT RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO GOD YOU WON'T SEE DAYLIGHT FOR A WEEK!" she screamed and five little boys stood up and situated themselves. "Now in line right now before I call your father."

They stood in line littlest to biggest and gave her a military salute. She pulled a pencil out of one of her pigtails and slapped it against her hand as she paced in front of them military style.

"Now, you're going to each grab at least two bags out of the back of the van and _carefully_." she stressed the last word. "Carry them into the house and _gently_ set them on the kitchen table. After that I want you to go to your bedrooms and get started on your homework. Little ones, if you need help I want you to ask Sam or Seth. Agreed?"

"Yes ma'am." the boys yelled before walking to the back of the van and carrying their bags of groceries into the massive house.

"Are you going to stand there and stare or come over and introduce yourselves?" The blond asked bringing us back to the present.

Bella blushed but pulled me through the massive hole in the fence and over to where the woman stood with her hands on her hips. We could hear the boys screaming inside about something or another but the woman didn't seem to care about it. She eyed Bella's pregnant belly and smiled.

"Sorry about that." Bella mumbled shyly.

"Oh don't fret when you have five sons that give Damien a run for his money, you get kind of used to people staring at you." the woman waved her off. "I'm Rosalie by the way you can call me Rose. I'd introduce you to the hellions but… yeah."

"I'm Bella and this is my boyfriend Edward." Bella said shaking Rosalie's hand.

"Pleasure to meet you Bella." she turned to me. "And Edward."

"You too." I said shaking her hand.

"So when are you due Bella?" Rose asked.

"In about three months. And you?"

"Oh I was actually due last week. They say that after you have children they are supposed to be easier and everything, but here I am on number six and still a week past my due date." Rose rolled her eyes. "My husband and I are trying for a girl and I have a feeling we are going to end up with a dozen rug rats but no little girl."

Bella leaned over and blushed. "Hey Rose can I use your bathroom? The baby seems to think it's funny to trample my bladder."

"Oh wait until after you have the cutie, you won't be able to sneeze without pissing yourself. Go ahead inside straight back it's on the right of the kitchen. And be careful because the boys like to scare people and I don't want you staining our impeccable carpet." Rose joked. "You should be fine, don't worry."

Bella looked a little apprehensively before holding her stomach and rushing into the house.

"My husband should be home any second now. He owns the jeep dealership right outside of town, I am head mechanic." She took in my shocked expression with a laugh. "Yeah when I'm not popping out little buggers I am mostly under the hood. Closer your mouth Ed, you'll catch flies."

"Sorry." I blushed.

"It's fine I'm used to it. Emmett says it's because I've got the best of both worlds, brains and beau- OWWWW." she screamed killing over and clutching her stomach.

Immediately thinking that she was about to pop a damn baby out of her I looked around but there wasn't anyone outside of their houses. I glanced up at the door to see if Bella was back but it was still slightly ajar like she had left it.

"Oh Rose. Are you okay? Do you need me to call an ambulance?" I rambled trying to help her to the porch where she could sit down.

"It's fine just" pant "Braxton hicks." she gulped for air as I lowered her onto the lawn chair. "Seth was conceived on this chair." she beamed rubbing her stomach.

Immediately my hands recoiled attempting to not touch the chair where she and her husband had made baby. I kneeled in front of her to make sure she was okay.

"I'm fine Edward. Get used to this. Before you know it you and Bella will be in my shoes." she smiled.

"Are you sure? Do you need to call your husband?" I asked pulling out my phone and holding it up to her.

"No Edward Jesus. Trust me a woman knows when it's time and I've been here so many times before I could probably deliver my own baby without even going to the hospital." Rose laughed.

"Is everything okay?" Bella asked as she walked out on the porch her eyes wide with worry.

"Everything's fine. Your Ed here is freaking out because I felt a little false contraction."

"Little? Are you mad? You doubled over like someone punched you in the gut." I stood up and ran my hand through my hair pulling the ends in frustration.

"It's fine Edward." Rose said calmly.

Victoria came out of the house that we were hoping to soon call our own and tensed when she laid eyes on us. Immediately she rushed through the hole in the fence.

"Ms. Swan Mr. Cullen I see you met your neighbors?" she smiled apprehensively. "I just spoke with the owner and he said he would take your offer. You can finalize the paper work and be in here in less than a month."

"Oh that's wonderful." Bella cheered.

Rose was congratulating us when a giant red Jeep pulled in behind her van. The occupant was playing music so loud there was no way they could hear the actual words. The Jeep shut off as the door flew open.

"Rosie baby, you didn't tell me we were having company I would have had Crowley cover for me." A deep voice boomed as the driver stepped out of the jeep.

I'm serious when I say stepped out of the giant jeep. He was about six inches taller than me and covered in muscles. He bounded up the stairs while pulling his tie off and slinging it at Rose. I could definitely tell he fathered the five boys inside the house. They had his dimples and curly brown hair.

"Emmett these are our new neighbors, Edward Cullen and Bella Swan. Edward, Bella this is my husband Emmett. His bark is definitely worse than his bite." She winked.

"I'll show you woman." Emmett smiled before pulling Rose to her feet and kissing her passionately.

The door flew open and a little boy that looked to be three or four came out.

"Momma. Quil pushed me, I pushed him but he pushed me extra hard. He called me stupid, that's why I pushed him." The little boy cried, his sentences making hardly any sense.

"Sam what are the rules?" Rose said turning away from her public display of affection her husband and she were sharing.

Sam looked down at the porch shyly. "Three B's, don't tattle unless you're bruised, bleeding or broken."

"And are you bruised?" Sam shook his head. "Bleeding?" Again he shook his head. "How about broken?"

"No ma'am." Sam said.

"Alright you and Quil should be doing your homework and not rough housing anyways. Now go upstairs and tell him to get started or there will be no desert after dinner understood?" Rose asked.

"Yes ma'am." Sam said before turning around and trotting back inside.

"Well it's good to meet you Edward and Bella but I'm beat and famished. Stop by if you need any help moving or anything." Rose said running her hand over her massive stomach. "Emmett would be happy to help out."

"I would?" Emmett asked puzzled before Rose gave him the look that we all as men fear. "Oh yeah, yes just come on over."

"Thanks for the offer but we should be able to handle it. We won't move in until a few of the problems with the house have been properly taken care of." I gestured to the house as explanation.

"Erm yeah, well send me the bill for the bay window on the side of the house." Emmett pointed to the broken window that Bella and I had been looking at. "And for the painters that are going to redo the porch."

"Oh how come?" Bella asked shifting awkwardly as she held her back.

I could tell that she had reached her limit for the day. It had been a little over two weeks since she was taken off of strict bed rest but she still got tired every now and then and we tried not to push it.

"My husband decided to teach the boys about the Quileute Indian tribes down in La Push and Sam brought home a book from school with different cave art. One second I was washing the dishes after lunch and the next thing I know all five of the boys are gone." Rose giggled. "They tried to make their own cave drawings. As for the window let's just say that someone decided to buy five year old twins bb guns for Christmas last year. Don't fret I ran them over with the van the day after that accident."

Victoria looked absolutely appalled where as Bella and I laughed heartedly with Emmett and Rose over their stories.

We said our goodbyes and Bella and Rose exchanged phone numbers. It was good to see that she would have an experienced friend living so close by. We promised to invite the clan over as soon as we were settled and headed back to the realty office with Victoria to sign some paperwork.

Bella fell asleep on the way back to Charlie's so I carried her inside and put her down on the fold out bed.

"I'm so happy we are staying." She mumbled sleepily as I pulled her pants off of her and covered her body with a blanket.

"Me too." I smiled kissing her forehead and going into the kitchen to prepare dinner.


	21. Labor pains cause the strangest things

Edward and I waited a couple of weeks after we signed the papers to tell the family that we had found a house. I think we were more afraid of jinxing everything by getting excited, even though Victoria had no problems with the paperwork or our credit checks. Charlie was over the moon that we had decided to stay and raise the baby in Forks and even talked Esme into helping him converting my childhood bedroom into a nursery for when his grandbaby spent the night.

Apparently the baby was going to have a nursery in the Cullen's house, Charlie's house and our new home before he or she was born. Esme was ecstatic when she found out that she would be able to design three different nurseries and even more excited that she would be able to possibly redo them once the baby was born and she knew the sex.

Rose and I had spoken daily on the phone and she was a little over a week past her due date so the doctors were forcing her to stay home and close to a phone. If she didn't go into labor on her own, they were going to induce the following Wednesday. She was reveling in the state of peace and quiet that the house was in, due to the fact that the twins had went to stay with a friend across town until the baby came, Quill their four year old, Embry their three year old and Jared their two year old were all going to go stay with Emmett's parent's the second they got the call and until then, they were in daycare until Emmett got off work.

Edward had left for work and Charlie wasn't due to stop by for his lunch break for an hour or so when I called Rose to see how she was.

"Hang on a second." Rose said hurriedly before setting the phone down on the counter. "I swear to god if you don't keep your diaper on I'm going to duct tape the thing to your butt. Do you understand me?"

I could hear a tiny giggle in the background and realized that she didn't have the house to herself today. After a few mumbled words she picked the phone back up.

"Sorry about that. Jared has decided that he wants to be a nudist." she laughed.

"I thought the kids were in daycare?" I asked flipping through one of the magazines that Alice had shipped to me over the weekend.

"Oh yes that is until Jared decided to streak through the play ground area. They called Emmett and told him that he needed to come pick him up today because he made a few of the kids upset. Their fucking kids you know? It's not like they have anything to show off but whatever. So now instead of being lazy I get to chase around my naked boy." she sighed. "How are you doing today? Bored out of your mind already?"

"Of course. I can't drive anywhere because both wardens have actually taken every set of keys out of the house after my last jailbreak attempt." I laughed.

Last week I woke up from my nap craving fresh strawberries. I didn't want to bother Edward or Charlie over something as trivial as some fruit so I grabbed my purse and keys with every intention of driving to the grocery store and getting the beloved berries. Too bad I didn't take into affect that my stomach was too big to get behind the wheel of my car and I ended up getting so stuck I had to fumble around for my phone and call Charlie to come help me.

It was bad enough that I was humiliated when Deputy Black showed up because he was closest to the house when Charlie got the call, but then I had to deal with the ass chewing I got from both Edward and Charlie because I wasn't healthy enough to drive myself around. Many tears were shed and they realized that I was literally going mad at the house during the day and that was when I started calling Rose and whining to her about my boredom.

"Yeah that's why you and Edward need to upsize your hybrid for a minivan." she laughed. "I drove myself to the hospital when I was in labor with the twins and I was twice the size I am now. There was plenty of room."

"Stop hating on my car Rose." I growled. Rose being a mechanic brought up a lot about cars in our daily conversations. She didn't care that I had no idea what the hell she was talking about and she ragged on my prius any chance she had.

"Alri-shit." she sighed. "Hang on I'm putting you on speaker phone."

"You can call me back if Jared got into something." I offered knowing that there had to have been a mess.

"No I have to change my pants. My water broke." she explained calmly.

"What? Oh my god. Do you need me to call 911? What about Emmett? We should call Emmett." I rolled off the couch and stood up scrambling around for my purse. "Holy shit. What about Jared? Okay just breath. I'm going to call Charlie and tell him to get here quick, and I'll be there as soon as I c-"

"Bella calm the fuck down." Rose laughed cutting me off. "My water just broke that doesn't mean the baby is crowing. This is going to take hours. I'll call Emmett a little while later once it progresses but I wouldn't mind if you came over. Calmly call Charlie and ask him to drive you here on his lunch break."

I was about to hang up with her when Charlie walked through the door brandishing a box of pizza. "Hey kiddo, hope you're in the mood for some veggie pizza because that's what I brought you for lunch." he called. "What's wrong?"

"Um nothing. Rose's water just broke so can we eat in the car while you drive me over there?" I asked pulling two soda's out of the fridge and grabbing my purse.

"Sure, sure." He chuckled. "You scared me for a second. Thought you might be going into labor and we can't have that."

"No, I'm sorry for scaring you." I remembered that I still had the phone attached to my ear and calmly informed Rose that I was on my way before hanging up. "She's so calm, it's sort of scary."

"Well she's had a lot of practice."

Charlie had met Rose, Emmett and the brood when Edward and I invited our parent's out to see the new house. They were all running around wearing holloween costumes and it was then that I realized living next to the family was going to be an experience to say the least.

Charlie helped me out to the cruiser and after a lot of begging on my part, broke the speed limit to get me to Rose quicker. Even though she was extremely experienced in the whole having a baby thing, I didn't want her to be alone with a two year old running around naked while she tried to make it through contractions.

Arriving to the neighborhood I found Rose sitting on the front steps with Jared attached to one of those kid leashes that was tied around the front stoop so that he couldn't go far. I laughed at the fact that he was only in a diaper that had a belt around the top.

Charlie took two slices of pizza out of the box and told me to take the rest for Rose and I, before hurrying back to the station. I think Rose being in labor was part of his haste to get away but ignored it as I walked up the walkway.

"How are you feeling?" I asked sitting next to her and handing Jared a piece of the pizza.

"Peachy." she huffed. "They aren't bad right now. I really hope this one is a girl so I don't have to go through this again."

Jared babbled as he sat on his diaper clad butt and nibbled on his pizza. We ate our lunch in companionable silence until Rose had a surprise contraction causing her to curse loudly as she gripped her stomach. Jared jumped and started to cry as he walked over to his mother.

"Mamma." he said before blabbering in his baby language and trying to rub her face.

"It's alright baby boy. Mamma's okay." she breathed turning to me. "I think it's time to call Emmett."

I grabbed the phone from her and dialed the number she read off.

"Hey sexy pregnant lady." Emmett purred into the phone.

"Well damn Emmett, I didn't know you felt that way." I joked.

"Oh Bella." He coughed nervously. "What's going on?"

"Rose's water broke and we waited a little while. She told me to call you." I explained.

"Okay tell her I'll be there soon. She's going to have to call my mom to come get Jared though." I could hear him rustling around his office in his haste to leave.

"Okay I'll call. If you get here before she does, I'll stay with Jared." I offered. "Just hurry up."

"It's fine Bella. This shit could take hours, days even." he laughed right as Rose hugged Jared's body tightly and moaned.

"Yeah well I'm no expert but I think her contractions are a little too close together. So please hurry." I laughed nervously. "I know she could probably deliver the baby on her own but I don't do good with blood and um yeah. Please just hurry up."

"I'm on my way." Emmett laughed hanging up the phone.

Jared was sobbing uncontrollably as I pried him out of Rose's firm grip. She managed to give me Emmett's mother's phone number so I led Jared inside as I called the number.

"Jane speaking?" I pleasant voice answered.

"Um hi. You don't know me but I'm friends with your son and daughter in law, Rose is in labor and Emmett asked me to call and let you know that Jared needs to be picked up." I rambled.

"I'm sorry? I don't have a son or daughter in law for that matter. Don't call here again." her voice was cruel before she slammed the phone down.

"Um Rose I think you gave me the wrong number." I said calmly. "Is Emmett's mom's name Jane?"

"Oh shit." Rose panted out another number.

"Who did I just call?" I asked as the phone began to ring again.

"My mother." Rose said leaning against the pillar holding up the porch.

"Hello Rose honey." a woman answered the phone.

"Hi is this Emmett's mother?" I asked not wanting to make the same mistake.

"Um yes, who is this?"

"This is Bella Swan. I'm a friend of Emmett and Rosalie. Rose is in labor and Emmett asked me to call and tell you that Jared needs to be picked up from the house." I replied.

"Oh I'm sorry dear." she laughed.

She assured me that she would be over as soon as she could before hanging up. Rose was still sitting on the front stoop when Emmett pulled up.

"Let's do this." He clapped his hands. "We're having a baby baby."

"I know dumb ass. I can feel it trying to claw, it's way out of my vagina as we speak." Rose howled. "This better be a girl Emmett or I swear to god."

"Calm down princess. Let me go grab your hospital bag and we'll be on our way." he kissed her before rushing past me and spinning around on his heel. "Shit what about Jared? Did you get a hold of my parent's?"

"Um, yeah." I stammered remembering the short and rude conversation I had had with Rose's mother.

"What's wrong? You're not going to pop too are you?" Emmett started to panic.

"No, no I just. Um Rose gave me the wrong phone number first."

"Oh well I can call my mom if you didn't get a hold of her. You really don't mind staying here with Jared?"

"No I got a hold of your mom she's on her way. Jared's fine." I looked down. "The phone number that Rose gave me was her mother's."

"Oh." Emmett exhaled loudly before turning around and running up the stairs.

I checked on Rose who was standing up and trying to walk over to the car on her own so I helped her into the passenger seat as Emmett rushed down the steps with Jared and a huge bag. He sat the baby down at my feet and I grabbed his hand while Emmett rushed over to the driver's side thanking profusely as they pulled out of the driveway.

"Come to the hospital as soon as Heidi gets here please." Rose said before they drove off.

"Mama." Jared cried.

"It's alright she's going to have the baby." I said pulling him inside.

I tried to wrangle him into some clothes but he refused so we sat on the front steps and waited for Emmett's mother to show up. A small car pulled up blaring gospel music and a mousy woman got out. Her hair was dark brown and frizzy and she was wearing what looked like a home knitted kitten sweater that was four times the size of her.

"You must be Bella." She said holding her hand out. "I'm Heidi."

"Hello." I stammered nervously.

"You're probably thinking how in the hell something the size of me gave birth to that huge monstrosity." she laughed. "But it happened and it was all natural. I was never the same afterwards."

"It's nice to meet you. Jared refused to get dressed and I promised Rose that I would meet her at the hospital as soon as you got here so I have to call my father and ask him to give me a ride." I stood up and handed her Jared's kid leash.

"Oh I can give you a ride if you'd like." she offered.

I tried to refuse.

But the Jesus lady refused to take no for an answer.

Somehow I was able to fold myself into her tiny car and she drove like a maniac all the way to the hospital chatting about her bingo league and informing that I would have to come out to the local church and play one night. I called Edward on the way there and he met us at the entrance before flashing his badge and leading me straight up to the maternity ward.

An overly friendly nurse pointed him to a room down the hall and told him to knock before entering. Before we could knock, the door flew open and Emmett pulled me into a hug.

"Thank you for calling me. She gave birth five minutes after we got here." he squeezed me good before releasing me.

"You're welcome." I blushed. "Can we see her?"

"Yep, go ahead. I'm going to go down the hall and make a few phone calls." he smiled widely.

Edward and I walked quietly inside and found Rose sitting up holding a small yellow bundle. Her face was shiny from sweat and exertion, but she still looked beautiful beyond words and I hoped that I looked at least half that well after giving birth.

"Hi guys." she smiled. "Sorry you missed it Bella."

"It's alright. So what's the verdict?" I asked staring down at the chubby face nestled against her chest.

"Please meet the newest member of our family." she cooed pulling the blanket down. "Paul Alexander."

"It's a boy?" Edward chuckled.

"Yep, and my tubes aren't getting tied." she frowned before looking down at baby Paul. "He's perfect though. Do you want to hold your godson?"

"What? Rose you hardly know us?" I stammered.

"And I already know that you're the closest thing I have to a best friend Bella. Emmett knew that you two were going to be the godparents the day we met you two." she said. "I'll ask again. Do you want to hold your godson?"

"Of course." I said excitedly holding my arms out.

She placed baby Paul into my arms and I immediately started crying. He was so tiny, light and extremely warm. I kissed his forehead.

"He's perfect Rose." I cried.

"Yep, you two are next." she yawned.

"We're next baby." Edward said kissing my tears away.


	22. Fishin' and mo family dramas

EPOV

"So let me get this straight." I chuckled. "You and Rose just had a baby four weeks ago and she's already wanting another one?"

"Dude we are dying for a little girl. We tried to space out the pregnancies with the boys and she thinks that if we don't hold off then maybe we will finally get our girl." Emmett stared off into space before turning back to me. "Just wait until your baby gets here and you will realize what I'm talking about. I can't wait to finally be able hold my baby girl and watch her grow up. Too chase boys away with pitch forks when they ask if she can come out and play."

"Alright dude, I think you're getting a little carried away." I laughed.

One of the twins was currently chasing their little brother with a worm he had taken out of the small container we had picked up at the bait and tackle shop on the way out to the lake . Alice decided that she would host a small baby shower for Bella despite the fact that she didn't know the sex of the baby. Bella and I hadn't been in the house for three days before I was kicked to the curb for diaper cakes and a breast pump.

"How long is a baby shower supposed to last anyway?"

"Rose has never really had any girl friends so she's never had a baby shower." Emmett sighed as he baited another hook for one of his son's sponge bob fishing poles.

On the way home from meeting baby Paul, Bella had told me what happened when she accidentally called Rose's mother instead of Emmett's. She didn't want to bother Rose after such a joyous occasion but she could tell that there was an underlying secret that caused her pain. We agreed to let Rose and Emmett tell us when they were ready.

"Go down by the water and make sure Jared doesn't fall in." Emmett patted the top of his son's head.

The awkward silence was palpable as Emmett stood up and got a beer from the cooler he was sitting on. He cracked open the bottle and chugged half of it before he even sat down. Flipping open the cooler and grabbing two more before slamming it shut and plopping down on the lid once again he turned to me and thrust a beer in my hand.

"I'm pretty sure Bella told you about her calling Jane by mistake?" he asked staring at the water's edge while the boys played and fished.

"Yeah." I replied nervously rubbing the back of my head with my free hand. "We don't do secrets and I knew something was bothering her when we left the hospital."

"No it's nothing. Don't worry about it. I was just wondering." Emmett sighed. "I met Rose when I was in my last year of college. I was studying business because I wanted to open my own dealership. Rose was taking mechanics courses even though she already knew more shit than the teachers. I had been drinking at a frat party and she walked in with one of her friends from high school.

I made a pass and she rejected me from the get go, so I drank some more and hung out with a few of my friends. Rose walked by, I grabbed her ass and she ended up beating the living shit out of me in front of hundreds of people." Emmett chuckled.

"After slamming my head into the wall for the third time she took mercy on my sorry ass and gave me a ride to the hospital. They had to reset my right hand, my nose and put me on a morphine drip. The doctors thought that I had a concussion so I had to stay overnight. I woke up the next morning and found Rose sitting next to my bed.

Apparently, in my drug induced haze I told her that I wanted to marry her and have her babies." Emmett laughed heartedly. "Yeah those exact words man. I wanted to have her babies. We ended up spending every day together for four months when she popped the question."

"Wait. Rose asked you to marry her?" I asked incredulously.

"Fuck no. She asked me to go home with her for the holiday. I was nervous as hell. We flew out to Kansas and I should of known something was off when we got into the limo that her parent's had sent to pick us up but I didn't. I was even all smiles when we pulled up to this huge ass mansion. The butler came out to get our bags." Emmett shook his head sadly. "Everything was fine, her parents welcomed us with open arms. We had dinner and her father Alec asked me to have a drink with him while Rose helped her mother get desert ready.

We sat in this huge library stacked with legal mumbo jumbo and he asked me what my intentions were." Emmett's knuckles were white with strain as he gripped the beer bottle. "I told him that I had every intention of marrying his daughter that I loved her with everything I had in me and that I wanted his blessing so that I could propose to her on Christmas Eve."

"Daddy, I got one." Embry yelled from the lake as Sam and Seth took the fish off of the hook and held it up.

"That's great son. Throw it back so it can get caught again." Emmett chuckled before turning back to me. "That bastard pulled out his check book and offered me a quarter of a million dollars to leave the following morning and never contact Rose again. Apparently Rose was bred for a more upper class lifestyle. They had sent her to California for college because they didn't want any of their high and mighty friends to know that their daughter dreamed of being a mechanic. I told him that I didn't want his money and walked out of the room straight down to the bedroom and packed my shit. Rose came in and asked me what happened and I told her."

"Shit man." I sighed.

What the hell do you say to that?

"Yeah, I left the next morning with Rose right by my side. They gave her a choice, me or them and she chose me. We got married on New Years and went back to college like nothing had ever happened. When Rose found out she was pregnant, she tried calling Jane and Alec but they refused the calls. When she had the twins, she tried calling them from the hospital but Jane hung up on her."

"That's fucked shit man." I sighed.

"Yeah Rose promised that everything was fine. If they didn't want to be in our lives and be happy for us then she didn't want them to be. She stopped trying to contact them." he shrugged. "I guess her being in pain and me not being there she was rambling off a phone number and that's the one that came up. Rose was pretty torn up over it after you guys left the hospital but with the boys and the baby she's pretty much been able to block it out but I can tell it's bothering her. A lot of Rose's friends ditched her because of her parent's influence so yeah." he trailed off. "Bella is really the only girlfriend she has."

"Well it's sort of the same thing for Bella. She has Alice and Ness down at the reservation but that's about it. Her mother remarried and ended up sending her back to live with Charlie when she found out she was pregnant with her coaches child. They didn't even come up here when Bella had a complication with the baby."

"Parents are brutal man. That's why Rose and I waited until we had the finances and everything to start a family. At first we planned on one of each but as you can see." he waived towards the group of boys fishing calmly by the water's edge . "We got a little carried away. But I have to say, their happiness and my wife's happiness is the most important thing in this world and I'm just glad that I can afford to take care of them and keep them happy and healthy."

"Family is extremely important to me as well." I agreed.

We took our time getting the boys back to the house after Alice had my mother call and give us the go ahead. We took them for hamburgers and I got a quick look into the life of a big family. Emmett was very well practiced father ordering everything just the way each boy liked it whether it was plane burger and bread or extra pickle, onions on the side.

We gave them time to wreak havoc in the play area to try to burn off some of the energy before getting back to the women.

"That was fun Uncle Edward." Seth said with his mouth full of half chewed hamburger. He then opened a packet of ketchup and sucked it into his mouth. "We should do that every time the moms do their chick shit."

"Seth you better watch your damn mouth." Emmett scolded before turning to me and winking. "That's my boy."

Later that night Bella and I were sitting in the not so decorated living room of our new home. She had been complaining of a back ache because the baby was pressed against her spine so instead of having the cook out they had planned for the night of the baby shower, we decided to have that the following day and instead were having a night inside.

"So Rose told me about her family." she whispered sadly while I rubbed her back with some warming lotion. "Hmm, that feels good."

"Good. Emmett talked to me about it too." I kissed the back of her head and continued to knead the tight muscles into submission.

"Would you take a quarter of a million dollars to leave me?" She asked quietly.

"No, are you nuts? I wouldn't take a billion dollars to leave you." I took the gloves off and pulled her against me. "I love you, you're not getting rid of me."

"I love you too. A whole bunch but…" she trailed off. "I would totally trade you for a bag of peanut M&M's and some cheddar and sour cream chips."

"Are you serious?" I laughed. "It just so happens I picked up those two items at the grocery store yesterday, so what are you going to give me if I go grab those for you?"

Bella tapped a finger against her plump bottom lip. "How about you go get me the M&Ms and the chips and eat them with me. And then when we're done consuming that and other things that are bad for us, we will go upstairs and you can help your beached whale take a shower. How's that sound?"

"It sounds awesome but you're not fat." I chuckled rubbing her massive stomach. "Your round with my child."

"Alright He-man." Bella laughed. "Now go get me chips and chocolate with nuts."

"Yes ma'am." I kissed her loudly and fetched the different snack foods for us to veg-out with for the night.

I placed everything on a tray and carried it into the living room to find Bella passed out whilst sitting up. Chuckling to myself, I set the tray down and attempted to get her to lay down.

"I don't want to." she muttered sitting back up and opening her eyes sleepily.

"Baby you passed out." I laughed. "Why don't I take you upstairs to bed?"

"No I want to watch TV and eat junk food." she mumbled. "Give me."

I laughed as I handed her the bag of chips and even more when I saw her dig in.

I grabbed a couple of bottles of juice and walked back into the living room. Stopping short when I saw Bella half asleep slowly picking an M&M out of the bag and raising it to her mouth all while her eyes were closed. Her head would droop tiredly while she chewed and then she'd swallow and pick up her head again and the cycle would continue.

"Bella." I said softly causing her to jump and choke on the candy. "You're falling asleep, let's go."

"I wanted to spend time with you." She pouted.

"If I could I would spend all of my time with you in our bed baby. I don't mind in the least that you're tired." I explained helping her stand up and walk back to our bedroom.

Bella and I had had a huge fight last week about my carrying her. I tried to tell her she was light as a feather even with the added pounds of baby but she continued to cry that I would hurt my back in the long run. She didn't talk to me and spent an entire day over at Emmett's and Rose's house when I carried her to the bedroom a few nights after our fight so I decided not to push my luck.

"Edward." Bella said quietly as I lay down beside her.

"Yeah babe?"

"Promise me that we'll never treat the baby like my mother treated me."

"Bella." I tried to argue with her.

"Just promise me." she sniffled.

"I promise baby."


	23. Baby steps Bella, baby steps'

Chapter twenty two FAA  
BPOV:

"Something tells me this is it Bella." Rose said nervously as she bounced on the examination table.

Why was I here with her at the doctor's office with her? You might ask. I'm Paul's godmother and seeing as he was still nursing a whole two months after his birth Rose didn't feel comfortable leaving him while she went to the doctor's office.

I stared down at the beautiful baby boy, his violet eyes blurry with sleep and a giant toothless smile on his chubby baby face. I ran my finger across his forehead and watched his eyes close.

"Rose you already know you're pregnant again." I laughed. "You peed on like ten sticks and they all said they were positive."

"I know that I'm pregnant. Trust me a mother knows this. I'm talking about this pregnancy. This is my girl. I can feel it." she smiled brightly.

"Emmett said you thought that Jared was a girl, and Paul too." I giggled as Paul started snoring softly against my chest.

Pregnant chicks' boobies were an awesome pillow to a newborn. In his entire short life I hadn't been able to hold the poor thing without him falling asleep within minutes.

"Psh, he told me he was man enough to knock the balls off of them but obviously that shit didn't work." Rose waved her hand dismissively. "I'm just saying I can totally feel it, in my heart, uterus and brain that this is finally my baby girl."

"Alright then." I laughed. "How do you handle so many kids though? I'm only having one and I'm freaking out."

"Practice Bella. Trust me if you and Edward decide to have more, your second pregnancy will be so much calmer, albeit not quieter." she laughed. "With the twins I was so strict, I think I spent the entire first year in and out of the doctor's office and constantly on the phone with Emmett's mom."

"Yeah well at least I have you for a neighbor. I can call you at all hours of the night about diaper rash and sore nipples." I smiled as Paul's tiny legs started kicking my stomach softly due to his baby dreams.

"Of course. It sucks that your mother won't be there for the birth or anything." Rose commented as she played with her paper gown.

"Yeah I get upset sometimes but then I look at you. If you did it with just Emmett's family I can do it with my dad and Edward's." I shrugged. "She didn't even care when Charlie called her hysterical thinking that I was having a miscarriage."

"Damn Bells what are Emmett and I? Chopped liver?" Rose cried clutching her heart as if I shot her.

"You know what I'm talking about Rose." I sighed. "Having you and Emmett is extremely important to me as well."

"Well I guess I can forgive you. You are sitting here with me and holding my baby and don't forget your about to watch me get a vaginal sonogram. That calls for forgiveness."

"I guess you're right." I laughed.

Her doctor came in and I blushed more than Rose as she had her examination. She was pregnant, big shocker there with one little bean sized babe and prescribed the usual before we were sent on our way. I was holding Paul against my chest outside the door while Rose was changing. He woke up and started nuzzling my sore breast in search for something I couldn't offer.

I panicked and knocked on the door. "Rose hurry up. Paul is awake." I whispered loudly.

"Hang on my bra isn't cooperating. Jesus Christ you Satan's contraption just fucking close." Rose howled.

"No please hurry up. He's hungry." I whispered a little louder. "He's trying to um."

I could hear chuckling from down the hall and whipped around blushing madly. Edward stood at the end of the hall in his hospital scrubs, arms crossed and looking gorgeous as hell. He let his arms fall as he walked towards me still laughing.

"You have a giant wet spot right here." He poked my right nipple. "And I think it's time for me to give my godson the talk." he emphasized the last two words with air quotes and all.

"It's a little early for that." I laughed situating Paul as far away from my breasts as I could until Edward took him away.

"Those sir are my boobies until the baby comes and then we shall share. Lay off or there will be issues Mr., we're talking when the cops come to our house instead of your parent's because you don't want to get in trouble, I am going to point right next door and let them know." Edward said looking the whimpering baby in the eye.

"Edward Cullen." I smacked his arm.

"Hey not while I'm holding a baby Isabella Swan." he said taking a few steps back and shielding the baby.

"You just threatened him and now you're trying to protect him? Unbelievable." I threw my head back and laughed. "What are you doing here anyways? Shouldn't you be working?"

"There's such a thing called being on a lunch break." he shrugged nonchalantly. "You probably don't know what those are seeing as you work for a magazine owned by your best friend."

"Speaking of that. I want to go back to work." I said playing with Paul's thin curls.

"We'll talk about it when I get off work tonight." Edward said.

The door opened and Rose stormed out. "Stupid fucking bra." she growled stuffing a large piece of light pink fabric into the diaper bag on her shoulder.

"Alright Bella let's go eat and enjoy the last two hours of silence until I have to go pick up the boys from school and day care." turning to Edward. "And just so you know this boy is a spawn of Emmett so he definitely loves the titties."

"Hello to you too Rose." Edward chuckled handing the baby over to her and kissing me on the lips. "I have to get back to work baby, I'll see you when I get home. Do you want me to pick up food or are you in the mood to cook?"

"Actually Rose invited us over for dinner. I'm going to be over there when you get off so shower and come over kay?" I ran my hand up his arm and he took a calming breath.

"Okay."

"I still don't see how in the hell you expect my six boys to eat something that doesn't have any meat in it." Rose said as I placed different vegetables in the cart.

"It's how you present it." I shrugged. "Trust me this homemade spaghetti will rock their socks."

"Alright but I insist on you teaching me how to make it just in case they like it. If not, then at least we can say we worked really hard on it and go for sympathy as they order a meat lovers pizza and chicken wings from Pizza Hut." Rose laughed.

We continued to shop for our ingredients and argued over the entire debacle that is desert. I wanted to go for a wonderful pineapple upside down cake but Rose stated that she couldn't deny the men in her life meat and chocolate all in the same night.

"Baby steps Bella. Baby steps." she stated pulling a giant block of chocolate off the shelf and tossing it in the cart.

Baby Paul was soundly tucked against her breast using one of those really cool baby slings. Rose was able to use both her hands without worrying about him slipping and I was glad that she had gotten me one as a gift at the make shift baby shower we had a few weeks ago. She and Alice hit it off perfectly and there were many conference calls between the three of us on a weekly basis.

"I think we should go for double chocolate chip pie with a chocolate crumb crust. What do you think?"

"You're asking a heavily pregnant woman if chocolate is alright? Hell yes." she laughed.

I was now over seven and a half months pregnant and ready for this baby to come already. He or she liked to sit against my backbone at all times of the day and night. I was in excruciating pain in my lower back all the time and couldn't do anything except for a heating pad and Edward's awesome back massages. If I had it my way I would have his hands on my back twenty four seven.

Edward was being extremely understanding in my discomfort. At night it would be scorching hot despite the fact that we had the central air conditioner on low and a fan facing my body while I slept. Edward couldn't touch me without me snapping at him for sweating all over me and he didn't try anything when I followed Rose's advice and slept in the buff.

We hadn't made love, screwed around or even remotely romantically touched each other in weeks. I felt guilty when we would kiss and I could feel him try to press it farther only for me to pull back. I couldn't find it in me to have sex when I felt so uncomfortable in my body.

It felt like my body had turned into some sort of port or pod of sorts. Its sole purpose was bringing my baby into this world and when the task at hand was finished so would its purpose. I was constantly hot, sweaty and in an extreme amount of pain every minute of every day. And with all of that I wouldn't trade it for the world.

In less than two months my baby would be here whether it be a he or she they would be loved totally unconditionally. Every ache and pain that I suffered, every hot flash and sweat soaked shirt I changed during the day meant that the baby would be here. Every kick and punch to my bladder meant that he or she was strong and healthy.

All of the bed rest, taking it easy and morning sickness that I suffered. All of the heartache and ridiculous things that the immature people of Forks put on me and the stress that it caused, melted away the second that I walked into the small nursery across the hall from our bedroom.

Not knowing the sex of the baby we decided to keep it simply. All of the furniture was handed down through four generations of the Cullen's. Edward, his father, his grandfather and his great grandfather all slept in the crib and used the beautiful matching cherry oak changing table and dresser that sat in the Cullen's attic waiting for Edward to become a father so that they could drag it down and Esme could fawn over it.

All of those things were sitting on our porch a month after we moved in. Esme had forced Carlisle to drag everything down from the attic so that she could polish it and wash the white lacy bedding that she had bought for Edward before he was born. Esme then woke Edward and I up at a ridiculous nine in the morning on that Saturday and forced us to set up the nursery.

"Bella? Bella?" Rose said waving her hand in my face. "Where the hell did you go lady? We're here."

My thoughts smacked back like a rubber band and I realized that the once quiet minivan was cram packed with squealing boys all trying to talk at the same time and vying for their mother's attention at once.

"What?"

"Dude you've been on auto pilot for like forty five minutes." Rose snorted. "Do me a favor and carry Paul inside while the boys and I grab the groceries."

"Kay." I blushed gathering Paul in my arms and the keys from Rose.

I could hear her commanding the boys into formation and explaining that if a single egg was cracked or the bread was smashed when the bags made it to the kitchen, that the culprit would be going to bed without dinner. I laughed as the boys filed inside each carrying a bag tenderly as if they all contained fragile items.

They sat the bags down and rushed up the stairs to change out of their school clothes and do their homework. The smaller kids ran off to the back yard.

"Alright teach me wise tofu fryer." Rose said bowing down.

"Shut up and pass me the tomato paste while you start cutting the mushrooms and other veggies." I ordered. "And where is your largest pot?"

"In the top cabinet." she pointed and then screamed at me as I reached as high as I could to get the pot. "Bella are you freaking stupid? You can't be doing that retard."

"Huh?" I asked whirling around.

"You idiot. You could have hurt yourself. Jesus." Rose fumed walking past me and snatching the pot. "Don't do shit like that again okay?"

"Damn it Rose. You don't have to be so mean." I choked out grabbing a paper towel and wiping my eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't think about it."

"I know Bells. I'm sorry. I just don't want you going into labor early because of something stupid calm down." she pulled me into her arms and I inhaled deeply.

Rose smelled just like a mom. Hard work, love, breast milk and white musk. Her smell calmed me completely as I had my mini melt down.

"Alright let's get to cooking before the wolves descend." she said pulling away before wiping the tears off of my cheeks.


	24. It's the end of the world as I know it

EPOV

"I don't want to be here." Bella moaned as she cradled her gigantic stomach.

We were currently sitting in one of the examination rooms waiting for Dr. Gerandy for our weekly checkups. Bella wasn't due for another few weeks but the baby was putting a lot of stress on her body so Dr. Gerandy demanded that we came in once a week to check her out.

I helped her lay back against the exam table noting that she was a little paler than usual today. Bella had been weak, uncomfortable and irritable for the past couple of weeks. When she wasn't sleeping she was moping around the house refusing to go out or visit with Rose and the boys. When she wasn't moping, she was holed up in the nursery folding and refolding the few sets of unisex clothes, baby blankets and other little things we bought for the baby before he or she was born.

I was afraid that she was going to a get pre partum depression, but she insisted that she was only tired and uncomfortable in her body and waiting for the baby to just get here already. I tried to make her as comfortable as possible when I was home rubbing her feet and back, starting warm bubble baths for her but I still heard her crying in her sleep wishing that it was over and it broke my heart.

"Dr. Gerandy will be here in a few minutes Bella." I cooed.

"She needs to hurry up." Bella griped. "This bed is uncomfortable and my legs hurt."

Tears poured down her face but I made no move to wipe them away; tears were a permanent part of Bella's façade lately and she got even more upset if I tried to clear them away. Instead I placed a soft kiss on her clammy forehead also noting that she was a little warm to the touch.

"It will be alright baby."

"No it won't. I can't handle much more of this Edward." she choked on a sob. "I'm tired and in pain all the time and I just want this to be over. "

"It will be." I kissed her lips as the door opened.

"Bella I talked with one of my colleagues and we both agree that your body is under a little too much stress so I am going to send you up to maternity and start inducing labor immediately." Dr. Gerandy said calmly as she sat on the stool beside the examination table.

"Wait, no it's too early." Bella started to cry turning to me and sobbing uncontrollable. "What if the baby isn't alright? No I can handle this. I lied I'm sorry."

"Bella you're not making any sense. It will be fine." I assured her.

"He's right Bella." Dr. Gerandy said patting her exposed leg. "The baby is getting to large for your body to accommodate. I assure you that the baby is going to be perfectly fine coming this early, if anything he or she will be on oxygen for a few days but don't worry our hospital is more than prepared to handle these types of situations. There's nothing to worry about."

"I don't even have my bag ready." Bella choked out. "I unpacked it this morning because I wanted to make sure it had everything."

"I can call Alice and have her run back to the house to grab it on her way here." I said before turning to Dr. Gerandy. "Can I take her up to the maternity ward myself?"

"Of course Edward. I want her in a wheel chair though. Her blood pressure is a little too high." Dr. Gerandy smiled. "I'll have a nurse bring one in, in a few minutes so you two can make a few phone calls."

"Thank you."

As soon as the door closed, Bella sat up. "Get me out of here Edward." she pleaded as she gripped my arm tightly.

"Bella. Calm down, you heard Dr. Gerandy everything will be fine. You need to calm down." I could feel her heart beat hammering as I gently squeezed her wrist in an effort to be let go.

"I can't Edward. It's too early." she sniffled. "I'm sorry I wished for this but I want to take it back. I can wait. I'll stay on bed rest. Just give me a few more weeks, days even."

"Bella." I sighed. "I trust their judgment. The baby is in trouble and so are you. This is for the best."

"I know. But I'm scared. I want my mom." she gasped. "Great I sound like Rose now."

That sent her into a whole other round of hysterics. It took me several minutes to get her calmed down and the nurse had already brought in the wheel chair.

"I'm sorry. I just. Ugh. What if everything isn't alright Edward?" she started going on and on about different complications that could happen with the baby being born early and I let her rant for a minute or two before silencing her with my hand.

"We need to get upstairs but I thought you might want a minute or two to call your dad. I'll call my mother and father, I'll also let Alice and Rose know what's going on as well." I offered, handing over the cell phone to her.

"Alright." she took a calming breath before dialing a phone number. "Daddy?-"

I went to the opposite side of the room to have a few minutes to give Bella some privacy with her father while I called my own.

_"Edward?"_

"Hey mom. I just wanted to call you and dad to let you know that Bella's being induced today." I explained calmly but straight to the point.

_"Induced? She isn't even due yet." _my mother's confusion was clear through the phone.

"Yeah I know. The baby's putting too much stress on her. They say that everything will be fine and that they have everything on standby if it isn't but I'm pretty sure Bella would like to have you here." I turned toward the window away from Bella and whispered. "I'm pretty sure she can use a mom."

_"Of course sweetie. Give me ten minutes and I'll be on my way." _she insisted. _"Do you need me to get you anything on my way?"_

"Actually I was going to have Alice run by the house and get Bella's birthing bag but your closer and I'm sure she would like a few things that are in there before the baby comes. She said she unpacked it but I'm pretty sure everything is on the changing table in the nursery." I explained.

_"Alright I'll be there in a few tell Bella to stay calm and that everything will be fine."_

"Easier said than done." I sighed, hanging up the phone.

"You'll be here right? I need you." Bella sniffled into the phone. "I love you too."

"Is everything okay?" I asked sitting next to her on the exam table.

"Yeah. Dad is calling Billy to see if he can come cover him and then he's on his way. What about your parents?" Bella asked her eyes heavy from crying.

"They are going to run and get your bag from the house before coming to the hospital." I kissed her cheek. "Are you ready to go?"

"Not really but I don't have a choice." she sighed. "I love you Edward."

"I love you too." I rubbed her arm comfortingly waiting for her to give a sign that she was ready to move but she didn't.

"No I mean it. I love you so much. You're my everything." she yawned.

"You're my everything. Let's get you upstairs so we can let you rest."

"Kay." she said tiredly.

I helped her get situated in the wheel chair before wheeling her down the corridor and to the elevator. She cried softly to herself and murmured to the baby, but I couldn't hear anything she was saying. I prayed that everything would go well as we rode the lift up to the maternity ward. Prayed that both Bella and the baby would come out of this healthy and happy.

A nurse met us at the elevator and led us to a birthing suit. She directed us to get Bella in a hospital gown and to put her hair up in a rubber band, away from her face. After doing as we were told I helped Bella get comfortable in the birthing bed and allowed the nurse back in.

"I'm going to call Alice and Rose while you get prepped okay?" I asked calmly. "I'll be right outside if you need me and it should only take a minute or two."

"Okay." she whispered.

As I walked out of the room I could hear the nurse explaining the pitocin procedure including the fact they might have to break her water for her. I called Alice first knowing that would be a job in itself and listened to her squeal for a few seconds before Jasper tore the phone away from her and informed me that they were on their way. Rose was going to have Emmett's mother come and watch the kids and then she and Emmett would be here as soon as they could as well.

I walked back in the room as the nurse set up the iv and told Bella she would be back shortly to check on her progress.

"How are you?" I asked sitting next to her on the bed.

"Nervous." Bella sighed. "She couldn't find my vein so it took three tries."

She sported three small round Band-Aids around where the IV was inserted in her hand. She rubbed her large stomach affectionately.

"I might have griped and groaned about this pregnancy but I'm going to miss this." she grabbed my hand and placed it over where the baby kicked.

"Just wait until after he or she is here. Before we know it they are going to be eating us out of house and home and telling us that we ruined their lives." I chuckled but Bella burst into tears. "What's wrong."

"Nothing." she sniffed shaking her head as if to clear her thoughts.

"It doesn't sound like nothing." I coaxed.

"I just realized we've never talked about names." she said softly.

"We have plenty of time. We can figure it out after he or she is here." I soothed.

"No I want to do it now." Bella said sternly.

"Right now?"

"Yes. If it's a boy what do you want to call him?" she asked sitting up a little straighter with a serious face.

"I thought about this a lot. I kind of like the names Greg." Bella made a sour face. "Okay what about Jack?"

"Ooh I like Jack." she smiled sadly. "Jackson but Jack for short?"

"I like it. What about a middle name?"

"Edward."

"What babe?" I asked looking up from our entwined hands.

"Edward. Jackson Edward Cullen." she smiled. "I like it."

"Well what if he is a she?"

"Well I have an idea for the name but I don't think you're going to like it." Bella sighed.

"What is it?"

"It's stupid really." Bella shook her head. "What ideas have you got?"

"No I'm not saying until you do."

"Fine. When I got to Forks after… everything that happened. My dad tried to warn me about what would happen when the town started thinking what they would think." she sighed. "Well, anyways. He told me that the town was going to start treating me like the scarlet letter and it got me thinking."

"Pearl?"

"Well yeah at first. But then I thought Scarlet. What about Scarlet Alexis Cullen?"

"Scarlet." I thought about it for a second. "I love it."

"So it's settled? Jackson or Scarlet is on their way."

"Yep."

We were four hours into active labor when everything changed. Bella had been having contractions like normal but the baby monitor started to beep faster and faster. Everyone was asked to leave the room including myself and it was happening so fast. One second we were laughing about something stupid Emmett had said and the next I was pacing outside of the birthing suite while doctors and nurses surrounded Bella.

I'm a doctor and I couldn't understand anything they were saying. It was like everything was under water and the only thing I could hear was the rapid heartbeat of our baby through the monitor.

The door swung open and they wheeled an unconscious Bella down the hall. Dr. Gerandy's nurse stopped and explained something to me but the only thing I could focus on was the doors closing and the fact that all of the doctors and nurses were scrubbed down for surgery.

The nurse smiled sadly before rushing into the room and I could see them pulling a sheet separator over Bella's abdomen before the door shut again.

"What?" I said.

"Edward. The baby's in distress. They are doing an emergency c-section." my mother said calmly. "Bella fainted when they started talking about it. You need to go get scrubbed down so that you can be in there. Hurry."

My brain was no longer connected to my body as I followed a male nurse into a room and was given scrubs. I barely paid attentions as I scrubbed down but came back to reality the second I was led to the room where Bella was.

She looked sickly pale but almost as if she was sleeping, the oxygen mask covering most of her face.

"Bella?" I whispered in her ear my face mask causing my voice to be muffled.

"She's fine. We had to put her under." Dr. Gerandy said under her surgical mask.

There were medical terms being barked out by three people all at once. I paid attention to the monitor and Bella's hand as I squeezed it tightly. There was a weird tearing sound before I heard the small cry of a baby.

"It's a girl." Dr. Gerandy exclaimed.

"A girl." I choked out looking at the squealing, bloody baby being handed off to a nurse that immediately started cleaning and checking over.

"Yes." Dr. Gerandy pulled her mask up with a bloody glove and shot me a smile. "Go say hi daddy."

I kissed Bella's hand, forehead and cheek. "It's a girl baby. Scarlet. I'll be right back."

Walking over to the small table where two nurses checked over my daughter, I saw a tuff of dark hair before they pulled a knit cap over her head. Nurse one turned around with Scarlet in her arms.

"Here you go. She's perfect." She smiled passing over the small swaddled whimpering baby.

As she was placed in my arms I felt my world come together. It was if everything no longer existed. I stared into her calm blue eyes knowing that they would change eventually, hopefully to Bella's warm hot chocolate colored eyes.

"Hi baby." I sighed running a finger down her soft pink cheek.

"Dr. Gerandy she's bleeding out." Someone shouted bringing me out of my euphoria, I could hear the rapid beeping of Bella's heart monitor.

"What's going on?" I panicked.

Scarlet cried loudly as a nurse took her from me. "Mr. Cullen I need you to step outside please."

"No. Tell me what's happening." I snapped reaching for my baby.

"Edward." Dr. Gerandy called from the operating table where she was doing something to the gaping wound on Bella's stomach. "I need you to leave the room right now. They will follow you out just go."

"I can't leave her." I cried.

"Edward. Please." Dr. Gerandy said. "Go."

In a zombie like trance I walked out of the room. A nurse following me with a Scarlet.

They tried to get me out of the room quick, but they weren't fast enough. Before the door closed, I distinctly heard Dr. Gerandy call out, 'We're loosing her' before the heart monitor flat lined.

And just like that my world crumbled.


	25. One step forward four steps back

EPOV:

Three days passed.

I didn't eat.

I didn't sleep.

I didn't shower.

I held my baby girl, Scarlet Alexis Cullen and tried to keep it together. My family tried to get me to go home seeing as Scarlet had been released with a clean bill of health so much so that the doctors thought that maybe the due date was determined wrong.

She was so beautiful and perfect, ten fingers and ten toes connected to beautiful hands and feet. Her chubby baby body was perfectly healthy and I often found myself pulling the blanket off of her so that I could marvel in her perfection.

After being forced out of the delivery room while Bella's life hung in the balance I sat outside the door in one of those plastic chairs crying into the terry cloth blanket that my daughter was swaddled in and praying that I wouldn't have to raise her on my own.

The nurses tried to get me to leave and take the baby to the nursery but I couldn't move and I couldn't let go of the only thing left that held me here on earth. The doors swung open and Bella's pale body was rushed down the hall to an operating room. Dr. Gerandy stopped just long enough to inform me that they had stopped the bleeding and that they were bringing in a specialist.

I was forced to either hand over my daughter to a nurse or follow them down the hall to the nursery where they would weigh her and do all of the little things that just didn't seem important to me at the moment. The nurse had told me that she was perfect so her weight and length wasn't as important as knowing if she would have her mother after all of this was over.

I was there for Scarlet's first diaper change.

Her first feeding.

Her first bath.

While Bella sat in an operating room, I was crying as they pricked the bottom of my daughter's feet causing her to jerk and cry loudly. While they helped me change her into the hospital issued diaper I was terrified that Bella would never have the opportunity to change a diaper. When Scarlet cried, I cried with her.

They allowed me to sit in the nursery with my baby for as long as I liked. Dr. Gerandy came in, in a clean pair of scrubs and calmly informed me that Bella had to undergo an emergency hysterectomy in order to save her life. She would be fine other than the fact that she wouldn't be able to have any more children and she would have to take hormone enhancements. We only had to wait for her to wake up now.

Charlie was a wreck. Before they left I heard Rose murmur to Emmett that if this baby wasn't a girl they were going to quit trying. Alice shook like a leaf the entire time that she and Jasper stayed only leaving to head back to our house and sleep. She refused to leave Forks until Bella was awake.

My mother and father smiled sadly as I fed Scarlet her bottle of formula ready to take over when I broke down crying because I had no idea if Bella was going to breast feed or not and that it should be her choice.

Once Bella was placed in a recovery room everyone decided to leave so that they could sleep promising to come back the next day to check in. Kisses were placed on Scarlet's tiny head and my shoulder was squeezed in reassurance that everything would be fine. A nurse placed Scarlet inside a tiny little basinet and wheeled her down the hall to Bella's room.

Inside, on the hospital bed lay the love of my life. Blankets tucked up to her armpits, an oxygen mask on her pasty white face and IV's in her pale arm. The nurse smiled sadly before leaving me alone with the corpse like body of my beloved and the product of our love.

I had spent three days in that room refusing food, sleep or anything that would cause me to leave the room. Like showering. I had to be there the second that Bella woke up. I had to see her face again and tell her that I loved her more than anything in the world besides our daughter.

She hadn't moved in three days other than the exercises that the nurses would do twice a day to keep her from getting blood clots and charley horses. I held her clammy hand in mine as I held our daughter in my other arm more often than not.

On day two, my mother told me that she would watch the baby while I used the en-suite shower if I wanted but I refused. Not having Scarlet and Bella in my line of sight made me uneasy, as if something would go wrong if I wasn't watching closely.

I'm a doctor after all and I didn't realize that Bella was in trouble.

Day three was lonely. Everyone had already came and tried to cheer me up, cooed over Scarlet's big eyes and soft hair. The nurses had came in to give Bella her refill of pain medication and brought the small tub in so that I could bathe the baby.

"Edward." my dad said as he walked into the room and immediately picked up Bella's chart. "How is everything?"

"I'm giving Scarlet a bath." I gestured to the wriggling wet three day old baby in the warm water and soapy water. I was able to get over the depression that Bella wasn't able to do these things by now, all she had to do was wake up. "She's really wiggly. I thought newborns were supposed to just sit and do nothing she's violent and active."

"Violent?" he asked.

"Yeah she busted my lip with a flinging foot yesterday. It's still puffy." I showed off my fat lip.

"Well when you were born, you peed on your mom." Carlisle laughed. "Seriously they pulled you up and twirled you around saying 'It's a boy' and you pissed all over her."

"Well she pooped in her tub yesterday so there. I got it worse." I laughed. "And why have I never heard of that until now?"

"Those things are only told when you become a parent. There are quite a few stories but I don't want to tell you all of them. Your mother would kill me."

"Fair enough." I sighed placing Scarlet on a towel and drying her soft brown hair. "She's beautiful isn't she?"

"Sure is. Just like her momma." Carlisle said. "How is she?"

"She hasn't woken up yet. The doctors say that she is healing nicely. No infections or anything." I looked over to Bella still sitting in the same position that the nurse had left her in earlier. "I guess it's just on her own time now."

"She will be fine. You're going to have to be there for her a lot when she does wake up Edward. Maybe you can wait a few days to tell her about the entire." instead of finishing his sentence he just whirled his hands around the room. "Everything."

"Why? It's not going to change the fact that she can't have any more kids. If I would have caught it sooner she would probably be alright. I could have brought her in and been able to save her from all of this. Instead I put the both of them in danger."

"Edward."

"No she wouldn't be laying there on that bed." I pointed to said bed. "And missing all of these things that are happening with the baby. I could have saved her from suffering and missing the birth of our baby."

I kept my voice down trying not to alarm Scarlet but it was almost like she had a keen sense of awareness for other's feelings. As soon as my hand touched my hair and starting pulling the ends, she started wailing.

"Edward get the baby."

"What does it look like I'm doing dad?" I sighed pulling up the blanket off of Scarlet's tiny body so that I could hold her before I realized that it wasn't my father that had demanded me to pick her up. "Bella?"

"Hi." she croaked pulling the oxygen mask off of her face tiredly in her drug induced haze.

"I don't think that's a wise move little girl." my father stopped her from pulling the mask off. "Let me go get your doctor."

As if my body had a mind of its own I carried the baby over to the bed lost in Bella's tired brown eyes. Pale and resembling more of a corpse than human at the moment, Bella had never looked more beautiful as she looked from my eyes down to the baby in my embrace.

"She's beautiful." Bella cried clearing her throat.

"You scared me." I whispered sitting next to her on the bed and placing Scarlet in her arms careful of her incision.

"I'm sorry." she murmured rubbing the side of Scarlet's cheek causing her to open her mouth.

"What in the world are you apologizing for? I'm so glad your okay." I said with a shaky breath.

Dr. Gerandy walked into the room followed by my father. She smiled sadly at me before turning all of her attention to Bella.

"Nice of you to finally join us. Looks like you owe Edward three days of diaper duty and midnight feedings." she joked.

"Wait how long was I out?" Bella asked sitting up a little, gasping and wincing in pain.

"Can't you give her something?" I asked standing up to give her room.

"Calm down Edward." My dad chuckled. "We've been pumping her full of morphine for the past couple of days."

"She's in pain obviously. Here Bella let me take Scarlet." I panicked when the baby started squirming and Bella winced again.

"It's fine Edward." Bella smiled through the pain.

"She's going to have to get used to it Edward. Two more days in here and you get to take them both home." Dr. Gerandy explained. "Morphine drip not included."

"I'll ask again. How long was I out?" Bella said softly as Scarlet began to fall asleep.

"Three days." I answered.

"Three days?" she cried. "I've been unconscious for three days? I've missed everything."

"It's fine Bella." Dr. Gerandy sat down on the chair next to the bed. "There were complications."

"Obviously." Bella snorted. "Is everything okay with Scarlet though?"

"She's fine. Perfect even." Dr. Gerandy smiled. "It's actually you that I wanted to talk about. Your recovery and everything."

"Oh okay." Bella blushed turning to my father and I. "Would you mind going and getting me a drink and something to eat while we talk? I'm starving."

"Of course." I replied leaning down and kissing her cheek knowing that she was conscious of her three day old morning breath.

Pulling away I shot a quick glance to Dr. Gerandy and knew that she was going to tell Bella the full extent of the complications. I kissed Scarlet's head and followed my dad out into the hall way.

"I thought you said that we should wait? She hasn't been awake for an hour and she's already being told?" I asked running a nervous hand through my hair.

"I thought it would be best if you waited but Dr. Gerandy has made her decision. She feels it's for the best Edward." my father patted my shoulder reassuringly. "Trust me it will be alright."

"Trust you we should wait. Trust you it will be alright." I groaned in frustration. "I should be in there with her not going to pick up a fucking sandwich."

"Calm down Edward. If Dr. Gerandy felt you needed to be there she would of stopped you. Bella asked you to get her something to eat so why don't you head down there? I'm going to head back to my office to finish some paperwork, they've been bugging me about and you can go get the mother of your child something to eat."

"See you later." I sighed.

"You too. And tell Bella I'll try to hold your mother off as long as I can. Don't be surprised if you have a visitor later on." he chuckled walking off.

I took my time picking out the best food I could find in the small cafeteria on the first floor of the hospital. I argued with the attendant about the wilted lettuce on the sandwiches and the stale bread they used for the grilled cheese to go with the mushy vegetable crap they called veggie stew. After compromising on a fresh chef salad with a side of sliced peaches and a green tea I rode the elevator back to the maternity ward.

Nervously I opened the door to find Bella loudly sobbing as she held Scarlet in her arms. I closed the door and she smiled through her tears before her face fell and sobs wracked her body.

"Bella love." I sighed pulling Scarlet out of her embrace and setting her in the bassinet and returning back to her. "Shh calm now."

"I have to be happy." she sobbed. "But I can't right now."

"I know baby." I kissed her forehead. "I know."

Eventually her tears dried up and she was able to sleep, albeit restlessly. In her sleep she would whimper and I thought it was because she was in pain. And then she started talking in her sleep and I knew that the pain was something a morphine drip wouldn't be able to cure.

'You're never going to want me now. I can't give you any more babies.' she cried quietly and my heart broke all over again for her and the pain we were going to face.


	26. Here comes a regular

BPOV:

I watched Edward get up and walk over to the basinet while the baby cried. He was such a good daddy able to know whether she was upset because she was hungry, had a dirty diaper or just wanted to be held. He was able to rock her in one arm while warming a bottle of formula in the other with ease. He was able to sooth her crying with a few soft spoken words.

The baby hated me.

After Edward found me crying over her tiny body when I was informed that I was left half a woman he took her from my arms and she hasn't felt comfortable in them since. No one understood why I was acting the way I was. Some would call it depression but I knew different. I felt empty. They took everything and I felt hollow but they couldn't understand that.

They said I should be glad that I was alive and that the baby was in perfect health. That the hell my body, mind, and soul had been through over the past seven months all I was left with was a hallowed out body and a baby that didn't want me. A baby that cried everytime I tried to to come in contact with her.

The following morning I had woken up with a headache and puffy eyes, crying myself to sleep had done that. I woke up deciding to get a grip. Instead of loathing the fact that I wouldn't be able to have any more children I was going to embrace the fact that Edward and I were blessed with our beautiful baby girl.

Edward helped me up from the bed, my incision pulling tightly causing me to yelp in pain with every step I took. I washed my hands and shuffled over to the baby. She was whimpering softly and sucking on her small fist looking absolutely adorable in every way. I lifted her tiny body up and against my chest and cringed at the piercing scream that emitted from her 'o' shaped mouth.

Immediately Edward was at my side taking her from me and talking calmly in an effort to sooth her while I shook and retreated as far away from them as I could. After a nurse came in to check my incision for any signs of infection or bleeding and helped me back into the bed Edward tried to put the baby back in my arms. The second his skin left hers, she screamed again flailing her fragile limbs in what looked like an effort to get away from me.

Edward tried to tell me that she was only hungry and the nurse coached me through her first feeding. Only the baby didn't latch on. She wanted absolutely nothing to do with me.

Me. Her mother. The one that went through hell and back for her. The one that almost died bringing her into this world and she wanted nothing to do with me.

So I handed her back to Edward and hadn't made an attempt to comfort her again.

It had been three weeks and I hadn't even looked at her for more than a few minutes at a time. If she didn't want anything to do with me then I wouldn't force her. All I wanted was for her to be happy and my staying away from her allowed her to be that way. Instead I allowed Edward to care for her. I didn't even accompany the happy duo to her first check up instead I sat in the bath tub until the water pruned my skin and my lips turned blue.

Edward told me that she was the perfect weight, perfect length perfect everything when he got home and I just frowned and retreated back to the bedroom. She was so perfect she could see that I wasn't good enough for her. All I did was ruin her perfectness. I hadn't touched my dresser because the basinet sat close to it, I didn't want to taint anything that belonged to her because deep down inside I wanted to make her happy.

When Edward went to work two weeks after we returned home, he would drop the baby off with his mother or Rose. He would work his shifts at the ER and go pick her up usually finding me in the same spot he left me in on the bed that morning.

I had lost all of the baby weight and then some. Rose worried when she saw my hip bones sticking out under the stained t shirt and a pair of underwear that had seen better days. She forced Edward to take me to the doctor where they decided that my case couldn't be classified as post partum depression, I was just in a funk that I would eventually grow out of.

Or everyone would grow tired of me and it would change.

I watched Edward grow more and more frustrated with me even though he tried very hard to contain it he would slip up every now and then.

'Bella why don't you take a shower?' he would ask in an effort to hide his repulsion of me and my disgusting body.

'Bella why don't you go downstairs and watch a movie while Scarlet naps?' probably wanting me to leave the two of them alone.

'Bella, I'm thinking about sleeping in the nursery with Scarlet so she doesn't wake you up at night?' after I refused to leave the bedroom for the tenth day in a row.

He didn't move into the nursery but started pushing me out to the living room stating that I needed to get out of the bedroom for a little bit, only he didn't _feel_ the need to wake me if I fell asleep on the couch because I looked so peaceful. So instead of going to the bedroom to sleep that night, I stayed on the couch with the TV off, like it had been all day and the day before. A stale sandwich sat on the coffee table for two days, uneaten, untouched because for two days no one came to check on me.

Day three of being completely isolated my father pounded on the front door until I hauled my weak body up and shuffled to answer it. He grabbed me by my arm roughly and drug me to the bedroom. I watched as he knowingly went to the right side of the closet to get a dark blue duffle bag that I hadn't seen since we moved in and knew that until then it had been in the closet out in the hall. He threw clothes into the bag from the dresser and the closet before turning to me.

"Let's go." he spat angrily.

"Where?" I asked my voice cracking from lack of use.

"Your coming to stay with me until you feel better or whatever the hell is wrong with you goes away." he said walking to the door.

"I'm not leaving." I said sitting firmly on Edward's side of the bed ignoring the fact that my side of the bed was littered with baby paraphernalia.

"Bella this isn't healthy." he waved his hand around. "You're not healthy. Edward told me that you haven't eaten anything, haven't even tried to hold Scarlet."

I flinched when he said her name and he noticed.

"You remember Scarlet don't you? Your baby. Your daughter?" he asked. "What about Edward? You remember him? Is this your sick way of tearing him up like he tore you up? Because that's what you're doing Bella. He's doing all of this alone, working to pay the bills and practically being a single parent raising your daughter. What the hell are you doing Bella? You're practically a corpse." he sighed. "You're killing him. And me. You don't even realize it but it's affectiong your child as well."

Tears poured down my cheeks as I sat there and listened to him tally off the things I've done wrong in the past few weeks. I take it all in stride as he paces in front of me slapping his hand into his other one in frustration as he talks. I listen as he practically tells me that I'm completely ruining my life and the lives of everyone around me.

"I'm sorry." I whisper but he didn't hear me, instead he continues pacing and talking and I stand up. "I SAID I WAS SORRY!" I screamed causing him to jump.

"Sorry isn't going to cut it Bella." he sighed picking up the bag and gesturing for me to follow him.

"Then what the hell do you want? Seriously how am I supposed to get better when my daughter doesn't want me to fucking touch her? Huh? How am I supposed to get better when the father of my child looks at me in repulsion? How the hell am I supposed to get better when I have to watch him sooth her and calm her with a touch and I can't even get close to her without her freaking the fuck out?" I screamed the top of my lungs. "Get out."

"Bella. Edward wanted me to come talk to you." Charlie sighed.

"You've said your peace and I've said mine." I scoff. "You can call Edward and tell him to have Esme keep the baby because it's obvious that we need to talk."

Charlie merely nodded as he exited the room and I sighed in relief when I heard the front door close. I went and locked the front door and cleaned up the mess that I had left in the living room for the past week. After cleaning the plate that held my stale sandwich and the lone coffee cup that sat in the bottom of the sink I went and took a long shower letting the scolding water scorch me while I scrubbed my body raw, shaving my beastie legs and arms.

_No wonder Edward was repulsed._ I thought dryly as I rinsed the razor out for the zillionth time.

I walked past the tiny pink and yellow basinet that stood beside my dresser and steered clear of it, instead choosing to grab a pair of Edward's boxers and an old tee that I had hanging in the closet. I rolled the boxers over and over so that they would stay on my hips and the shirt was baggier than it was before I had gotten pregnant.

Knowing that Edward wouldn't get off of work for another hour I decided to try to eat something but my nerves got the best of me and the peanut butter and jelly sandwich tasted like dirt. I rinsed my mouth out with some water and sat in the quiet living room staring at the blank TV screen.

If Edward had been the one to call Charlie then he was obviously more frustrated than I thought.

I didn't know what to do about it. He didn't understand the panic that ensued every time she cried when I held her. All of the things that I had been through to have her. The drama, the stress, the fact that carrying her led to my not being able to ever have children again. I gave it all up for her, my baby and I wasn't good enough for her. She wasn't comfortable with me so how could I become comfortable with her?

I was brought out of my thoughts by the door closing softly. I could hear him taking off his jacket and the sound of his footsteps as he walked towards where I sat frozen on the couch with my arms wrapped around my knees.

"Charlie said that you wanted to talk." he stated sitting across from me on the chair.

"Yeah." I lamely replied.

"Well have at it." he spat folding his arms and sitting back.

"I'm sorry." I choked out. "I'm sorry that I've been acting the way I've been. It's just been hard for me to get a grip on everything that's going on and I haven't had time to process it."

"What is that supposed to mean Bella?" Edward asked leaning forward in the chair. "I've tried everything I can to help you and you still pull away from me. You won't even look at our daughter and it kills me knowing that there's nothing I can do to help you."

"She hates me." I snapped. "How can I look at her knowing that I've given so much up for and know that she hates me? How can I look at her knowing that the second I get too close she's going to start screaming bloody murder like I'm hurting her?"

"She doesn't hate you Bella." Edward sighed. "You were out for three days and the one time that you held her you ended up crying all over her. She feels everything you're going through. You're not the only one that's gone through this you know."

"I feel like I am." I sobbed. "I feel like I'm alone in this and before you say anything I know that I'm not the first woman to have this happen but that's exactly how I feel. I can't have any more children and the one that I do have can't stand the fact that I just want to be close to her. I want to worship the fact that she's my one and only. She only wants you."

"Bella, you're not alone in this. We both have to grieve over the loss of future children but at what cost?" Edward asked softly inching closer to me. "You're killing yourself by not eating. Our daughter is paying the price because I can't be both a mother and a father to her."

"I can't Edward." I cried swiping at the tears as they poured out of my eyes. "She doesn't want me."

"You don't see yourself clearly." he said softly walking towards me and walking over to me. "You're everything to her even if she cries it just means that she needs time to get used to you. You're practically a stranger to her baby."

"Bring her home." I sniffled. "Go get her and bring my baby home. Bring Scarlet to me."

"Come with me." Edward said. "Let's go get our baby."

I didn't change in my haste to get out of the house and into Edward's car. I didn't care if I looked like a hot mess which is what one of Rose and Emmett's kids called from their yard as I ran to the driveway pulling Edward a long with me. I fidgeted nervously as we drove across town and almost vomited in panic as we pulled up at the Cullen's gigantic monstrosity of a house.

Esme was sitting on the front porch holding a bundle of pink and white as I walked up the front steps she stood up.

"It's about time." she smiled sadly handing me Scarlet.

She whimpered a little from being jostled and opened her eyes. Dark brown mirrored my own as she stared up at me but didn't cry. I ran my finger down her cheek and she smiled.

"Hi baby." I whispered. "Sorry it took so long."


	27. Emmett get's the last word

**Epilogue Forever and Almost Always**

Seventeen years later.

"Families and friends we are here today to watch the children sitting before me in their caps and gowns embark on the journey of the rest of their lives." The principle droned on as the crowd sat in the bleachers of my old high school.

Edward sat next to me while we listened to the man blather on about the lives of the children about to go off into the real world on their own. Women sitting all around us were sniffling while their husbands coughed uncomfortably. I had already used more than a few of the tissues I brought with me offering a few to the surrounding unprepared women. The first row of students stood under the principles instructions and lined up in alphabetical order on the side of stage.

The principle started calling of the names as the students came across the stage to retrieve their hard earned diplomas. I watched as a few familiar faces posed for the hand shake and picture with the principle, big cheesy smiles on their faces as they walked back to their seats, tassels swinging with their steps.

"Scarlet Alexis Cullen." his voice echoed in my head and both Edward and I inhaled sharply clutching to one another's hands.

I heard Emmett howl loudly from behind us and an air horn go off. He had brought one to each of his children's graduations and informed Scarlet who tried to talk him out of it that she was almost his daughter as well.

We watched as our daughter walked across the stage, her dark brown hair held up in braided pigtails that fell just shoulder length. Her graceful steps were interrupted by thin air and she tripped falling into the principle that was waiting to hand her, her diploma. The crowd laughed and I felt Edward tense emitting a low growl.

Without missing a beat Scarlet dusted herself off giving a small bow to the crowd before posing red faced and all with the principle as he handed her the diploma and whispered something in her ear causing her to laugh as she walked back to her chair. Edward and I chuckled as we watched Scarlet high five a few of her fellow seniors as they snickered.

We listened as one of Scarlet's very good friends Skeeter gave his valedictorian speech joking about their super awesome senior prank that beat all other senior pranks of the century. His words not mine. I remember getting the call from Scarlet's friends telling me to meet them at the hospital that night because Scarlet had fell and got a concussion running from what she thought was a cop, but ended up being another Senior late to the festivities.

Skeeter talked about how their lives would change forever after today. How it didn't matter if they went to college or flipped burgers for the rest of their lives at the local diner so long as they were happy. I teared up as I watched Scarlet scan the crowd, stopping on her grandparent's sitting a few rows behind us in the friends section. It was ridiculous really that the graduates would only get two tickets to special seating up front.

Her eyes met mine. Dark brown eyes that I knew had a sliver of green around the irises stared at me with love.

'I am so proud of you' I mouthed ignoring the tears of joy falling down my face.

'Me too. I love you' she mouthed back before Skeeter made another joke causing the crowd to laugh again. She winked at her father before turning back around.

"She's all grown up huh." Edward asked quietly.

"Sure is." I choked out.

As Skeeter drew his speech to a close the principle walked up to the podium and announced the class resulting in a hundred and twenty seniors raising their arms simultaneously and switching the sides their tassels laid on. With a final note all one hundred and twenty caps flew through the air as the seniors chanted and their senior song played through the speakers. It was a class vote and they had decided on a band that wasn't as well known now as it was in our younger years. A sheer classic.

**_Another turning point;  
a fork stuck in the road._**

**_Time grabs you by the wrist;  
directs you where to go._**

The graduates walked around their small group hugging each other. A lot of tears were being shed as the parent's waited for their children to come find us but for now they were lost in their goodbyes.

**_So make the best of this test_**  
**_and don't ask why._**

**_It's not a question_**  
**_but a lesson learned in time._**

**_It's something unpredictable_**  
**_but in the end it's right._**  
**_I hope you had the time of your life._**

Edward wrapped his arms around my shoulders as we sat on the bleachers waiting for Scarlet to finish saying goodbye to her friends. She would see them later at the graduation party that Edward's parents were throwing for her, but the graduation ceremony had made everyone a little sentimental.

**_So take the photographs_**  
**_and still frames in your mind._**

**_Hang it on a shelf_**  
**_In good health and good time._**

**_Tattoos of memories_**  
**_and dead skin on trial._**

**_For what it's worth,_**  
**_it was worth all the while._**

**_It's something unpredictable_**  
**_but in the end it's right._**  
**_I hope you had the time of your life._**

I watched Scarlet stand in a circle of her closest girlfriends singing the song's lyrics proud that they had voted and tried very hard to get everyone else to vote for it as well. We couldn't hear her voice, but I could see the smiles on their faces and knew that they were singing off key as usual. It brought me back to the day I came home to find Scarlet and her friends going through my old CD collection. It was moved into her bedroom the very same night where she took over my fascination with the punk rock genre of my generation.

We had had plenty of karaoke nights at the Cullen house in the past. Rose and Emmett still lived next to us but the house was a lot quieter now that all of their boys were off to college and their new lives. The twins had both been married almost straight out of high school and Rose and Emmett were already grandparents three times over.

Both Edward and I agree that we can definitely wait for Scarlet to come home and inform us that we would be grandparents.

**_It's something unpredictable_**  
**_but in the end it's right._**  
_**I hope you had the time of your life**._

As the song was coming to an end, a shock of short blond curls and muscle blocked our view of Scarlet before the person picked her up hugging her tightly. I could feel Edward tense against me.

Paul McCarty the youngest son of our neighbors and good friends had stolen the heart of our baby girl at the ripe age of five. They had been playing together in the sandbox in our back yard when Edward started freaking out, running out the back door like one of the kids were choking to death.

Instead they were playing 'show you mine if you show me yours'. They had already showed each other their chests and Edward caught Paul before he could pull his pants down.

Edward and Emmett decided to take Paul for a little man time where they could inform him that that wasn't a suitable thing to do with girls while Rose and I had taken on Scarlet. Leah their only daughter was four at the time and nosy as can be sitting on the steps while Scarlet found nothing wrong with showing off her privates to her boyfriend.

Edward came home and went straight to our bedroom slamming the door loudly so I put Scarlet in front of the TV and went to investigate. Finding him pacing the bedroom floor, he turned to me.

"That little jerk just asked for her hand in marriage." he seethed.

"Aw." I cooed.

"Aw? Aw? Really Bella?" Edward cried out.

"Yeah Aw, Edward they are five." I laughed. "It won't last past recess."

**_It's something unpredictable_**  
**_but in the end it's right._**  
**_I hope you had the time of your life_.  
**

Boy were we wrong.

Two days ago Scarlet had gone off with a few of her girlfriends to get their hair cut before graduation and Edward and I were sitting at the house. I was folding laundry and waiting for Alice to email me another article that needed editing and Edward was pouting while staring at a blank TV screen.

I think it finally hit him that our little girl was growing up when she came home brandishing her cap and gown that had just arrived.

He had been moping ever since.

There was a knock on the door so I jumped up and answered it revealing a fidgeting and nervous Paul. He barely choked out that he needed to speak to Edward and I before I led him to the living room. He had just finished his business classes and was working at the Jeep dealership with his father, the only McCarty son that decided not to branch out, he wanted to follow in Emmett's footsteps.

He sat across from Edward and I and pulled a small velvet box out of his pocket before clearing his throat nervously and speaking calmly.

"You both know that I love Scarlet with everything I am. I know we are both young, but I want to tie her to myself in every way." He opened the box revealing a delicate white gold ring with a rather large ruby surrounded by small diamonds. "I'm asking for your blessing to propose to Scarlet."

Edward choked on air and stood up. "It's too soon. She's graduating in two days."

"We have been with each other for a very long time Edward." Paul said with a little more conviction. "And I'm not going to insult our relationship with a promise ring because we made that promise to each other when we were five years old."

Edward looked at me with pleading eyes, his bottom lip quivering a little and his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"You break her heart, I break your face." he mumbled holding his hand out for Paul to shake.

Edward had been on edge ever since. Every second Scarlet was in touching distance he had her in a tight silent hug and she complied allowing him to hold her.

I watched as she and Paul walked hand in hand towards us searching among the faces before Paul spotted Edward and lead her over to us.

"Congratulations baby girl." I said pulling her into my arms.

"Thanks mom." she blushed before turning to her father.

"How you holding up old man?" she joked pulling him into a hug.

Edward didn't say anything as he held onto her tightly breathing deeply as if we were never going to see her again. Scarlet had already started taking college classes while still in high school so that she could work for Alice's magazine alongside the two of us. She wasn't planning on moving out of the house and that was something I had mentioned to Edward a time or two in the past few days, but now that Paul had shown us the ring and told us his intentions it was likely that she would be moving out sooner rather than later.

Scarlet kissed her father's cheek and whispered something in his ear before pulling away.

"And what about my little sister?" she asked looking around for the rest of our family.

As if on cue Rose, Emmett, Leah, my father and Edward's parents walked up to our small gathering. Holding onto Leah's hand was our miracle.

The year after Scarlet was born had been tough. I had been diagnosed with post partum depression despite the fact that a few doctors in the family being Edward and Carlisle not seeing it or not believing it. I wasn't as far out as Brooke Shields or anything, but I was not a hundred percent. After I had started seeing a psychiatrist and working through the fact that I wouldn't have children again I learned to cherish Scarlet and every moment that I had with her. I had sacrificed everything for her and even worked through some of the anger I still held onto for the town of Forks.

Edward approached me when Scarlet turned ten. I feared one year she would ask for a sibling and didn't want to have to disappoint her or later when she was an adult make her feel guilty. Every year Scarlet would blow out her candles, look up at the camera or the people surrounding her and tell everyone that she wished for world peace.

He had walked up to me and handed me a folder with an adoption application inside and asked me if I was interested.

After working at Fork's hospital for eight years he had gradually moved towards the pediatrics wing and was now the head of that department while Carlisle still reigned supreme of the ER. He admitted to me a few years later that moving to the pediatrics was his way of coping and mourning our loss. I backed him up in his decision as did the rest of the family.

I told him the truth, that I was afraid of the let down. I had heard of couples, very well off couples that had stability and the means of bringing a child home from the government being rejected. We talked about it all night and ended up filling out the paperwork and I allowed Edward to do what he wanted with it, trusting him in his decision we didn't talk about it again until about a year later when he showed up at the house when he was supposed to be working and informed me that a little girl had been born at the hospital that morning and the teenage mother had already been planning on giving her up for adoption.

Edward knew that the baby was ours so he drug me out of the house and ran every red light and stop sign on the way to the hospital where I met the beautiful baby. Her birth mother had done everything correct keeping her healthy and the birth had gone by complication free.

It was like magic the way paperwork was able to be filled and we ended up taking home Violet Esmeralda Cullen weeks later.

Scarlet was over the moon loving Violet with everything in her. We had decided to name her Violet because of her strange eye color.

"There she is." Scarlet squealed pulling our five year old into her arms and kissing her face.

"Scarley." Violet squealed as her older sister swung her around happily. "I want to come to the party."

Her large violet eyes grew in size as her bottom lip poked out. We had informed her on the way to the ceremony that Scarlet might not want her there because she was saying goodbye to her 'big friends'.

"Of course you can come sweetie." Scarlet laughed. "I need your help choosing the music and stuff anyways."

Violet turned to give Edward and I a quick 'I told you so' look before leaning over and holding her arms out to Paul. We walked with the rest of our family following the three of them out to the parking lot to head to the Cullen's for the graduation party.

It had been in full swing for about an hour and a half when the music stopped and Paul drug Scarlet into the middle of the make shift dance floor. It was there that he dropped down on one knee and proposed, earning a delighted squeal and "YES" from my daughter.

Edward looked at me with tears in his eyes. "There goes my baby girl." he managed to choke out.

"It's not goodbye sweet heart." I comforted him even though internally I was fighting the same feelings.

Emmett had walked over to us by the time Edward got a hold of his bearings clapping him on the back and kissing my cheek.

"So you know it's tradition that the bride's side pays for the wedding right?"


End file.
